|Reviews for Blazing Mental|
| Sapphy-Sweets chapter 3 . 4/3/2015
I honestly had little idea of what was going on.
My own fault I'm thinking.
I still kept reading because of Silver. It was interesting, just didn't make any sense.
To me at least. This is ME we're talking about.
Beautiful writing as always. Maybe explain it to me in the forum? I am curious.
Terribly sorry for the crappy review but I'm so tired... Second review as promised. Now I can get some sleeeppp...
"We have all the information we could get, doctor," a figure called out from afar, making the man fidget irritably
No period at the end. Oops.
One gloved hand swiped to the side of the rusty console he stood at. Tapping.
Was this supposed to be:
"Stood at, tapping."? If not oh well.
| Sapphy-Sweets chapter 2 . 4/3/2015
Reread. Reread. Oh now I get it.
That sums up my experience for the chapter. About a third of it anyways.
You've got such an elaborate style, I feel overwhelmed. Not saying you should completely change your style for one person, but I'm worried it might deter people without the paitience or interest to better understand.
Some skippable stuff. Well, not really to me but to a general audience (OK, me sometimes). Not necessarily boring, but swallowed in a chasm of... What was that phrase... Purple prose? The stuff you write... It truly is a hidden gem. And the intricate/highly metaphorical style isn't awful at all. But it can be too much. It's something I struggle with. I try to balance it out with "short, sweet impact".
Silver. Oh Silver. I died when he called Espio "Sepia".
This guy is just so cute. Honestly, I had to reread a few passages to understand what was going on in that scene, but once it clicked... Congrats. That scene was just great. What an awkward dork! Even in a dangerous situation he just hasn't got a clue. Espio seemed annoyed his cool subtlety went right over his head. Poor guy.
"...or behold my ninja powers!" Ahahaha. I see what you did there. Nice Heroes callback. One of my favorite Sonic games, personally (and off topic).
The amazing Silver humor continues! Because of you, I'm really starting to like him. I always found him annoying... But now he's adorable to me. Thanks for that.
His innocence when he observed the soldiers "setting timers"... Oh sweet Jesus.
Maybe I'm loopy because it's late at night for me, but I'm cracking up over all this. "I'm not allowed to climb a tree but they can blow up the place!?"
Not your fault, but it angers me only America decides to be different and not use the same measurements as literally everyone else in the world. I had to sit there for a moment thinking...
Freaky tree blankets. Hm. I have no idea what's going on. But I wanna read chapter 3...
"Metal has never really done anything evil for Silver to witness..."
Believe you meant had. Tense issue.
"Are you sure nobody will get hurt?
There isn't a quotation mark at the end of that.
In summary, I enjoyed this chapter a lot- once I overcame the purple prose sprinkled all over. Grammar screw-ups were minor and probably mistakes. Minus the purple whatever and you've got a faster progressing story, a larger, more interested audience, and a Sapphy who feels less stupid. You totally want that last one right!? Smart Sapphy! :D
Repaying my growing debt to you,
| Sapphy-Sweets chapter 1 . 4/1/2015
Less wordy, more straight to the point. Clean cut, not to mention interesting from the get go. Silver is portrayed excellently- oh he's such an awkward dork but I love em. Silvaze, huh? Can't wait to see how you carry (or carried, since this was a while ago) this out. A small detail that shouldn't matter but made me happy: Silver almost blushing at Rouge's sultry voice. I can see that happening. He's just so gullible and innocent! Honestly, couldn't find any sore thumbs. I'd tell you if I did.
Oh. Wait. The beginning did confuse me. But I got over it. Please explain it to me.
| Lime fresh chapter 1 . 7/16/2013
As it is a shame - not to know
English... to everything to
study German and to use the
silly translator who won't give
normally will take pleasure in
your tremendous heads. I
understand that you won't
understand all this. But, if the
translator works on "hurrah",
I congratulate! It is very
remarkable. I read further :)
| globaldictator9 chapter 1 . 3/23/2013
Being a critic must be a dangerous path to follow. After reading the reviews for this story, I had no idea just how many enemies one could make. Now I know...
I think the plot idea for this story is quite clever. I'm really bad at coming up with original ideas myself so I'm going to come right off the bat and so that yes, I'm jealous at your genuisness of the story. As for the other... people who may disagree with me, all I can say is to ignore them. Of course, a review you left on one of my own stories did hurt. It really brought down the confidence I had in writing and it took awhile to get back up and keep going. But it also made me realize what I meant whenver I said" Please comment and review!" I was only looking for the reviews that praised me, not the one's that told me to do better. Weirdly enough, A LOT of critics have been commenting on my stories lately so I've defenitley have had my own fair share of "Yeah, this story needs A LOT of work." Quite honestly, I would keep doing what your doing and keep enjoying it.
| Epikku Otaku chapter 1 . 12/11/2012
Wow. I have to say, for someone who bullies people online for their GREAT stories, this is just pathetic. "Get rid of this excuse for an upload." remember that one?
a) Your story line is WAY out of place from the way you started.
b) The character's characteristics are are invisible.
I may not be a critic, but I know a good a story when I see one. And, THIS is not one of them.
| ShaniyaPOWER chapter 2 . 10/17/2012
Lord Kelvin I'm sorry about what I said in my previous review. I was just trying to make you feel the way I felt when you posted some bad reviews about my previous stories I was heart broken because I wanted people to like my stories. I just wanted you to realize that your bad reviews hurt people's feelings. I was about to leave Fanfiction for those bad reviews you sent to me. Lord Kelvin I really do apologize for what I have done. Also can you please not remove me from this site and can you not send bad reviews to my stories unless it's like a spelling error or something nice about my stories. (PS you should also read my sister's stories, her name is Shadsys Teddy)
| ShaniyaPOWER chapter 1 . 10/17/2012
Hey Lord Kelvin remember me. YOU ARE THE ONE WHO BROKE MY SOUL AND NOW I'M SICK OF IT! YOU'RE A HORRIBLE WRITER! YOU THINK YOUR BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE BUT YOUR NOT! THIS STORY IS UPSETING! HAVE YOU READ MY PROFILE YET! YOU COMPLETELY DESTROYED ME! JUST BECAUSE OF TWO ERRORS YOU MADE ME DELETE ADVENTURES IN ADOPTIONHOOD AND YOUR LITTLE BUDDY HELPED WITH THAT TOO, HIS NAME IS QWISSE! THEN YOU WANTED TO MAKE ME MORE UPSET BY SAYING MY STORY ADVENTURES OF SHANIYA THE HEDGEHOG IS A MESS, WELL GUESS WHAT "LORD KELVIN" ALMOST EVERYONE ON FANFICTION IS GOING AGAINST YOU AND I'M HAPPY ABOUT THAT! My advice to you is to STOP SENDING ME AND EVERYONE ELSE ON FANFICTION BAD REVIEWS AND TELL YOUR LITTLE BUDDIES THAT TOO! YOU ARE JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, HUMAN. Hey Lord Kelvin are you the one who was chasing Fred around in his videos?! ANOTHER PIECE OF ADVICE IS TO LEAVE FANFICTION BUT IF YOU DON'T WANNA LEAVE THEN STOP SENDING BAD REVIEWS BECAUSE YOUR STORY IS WORSE THAN MINE. And for your info Adventures Of Shaniya the Hedgehog is A GREAT STORY! AND also RUSTY IS NOT A WHATCHAMACALLIT HE'S MY OC!
| golden cakes4 chapter 1 . 9/29/2012
Listen up dummy because you're about to have your mind stories are junk, and even though I don't have a account I'm related to one of the authors on this site so you better straighten up and quit it with is your stories suk and you don't even have the right to juge people.I suggest you leave fanfiction forever and never come or look to a different site and bring these words with you 'do unto other as you would want other to treat you.'
| Slick the Wolf chapter 1 . 9/28/2012
Everybody here is right! This is boring and it makes no sense!
And not only that, you criticize other people's work that are actually WAY better than your piece of junk.
You could say something nice about it, but NO!
Go ahead and criticize their work! You're the reason why most of them left!
You call yourself a critic!? You're a HORRIBLE AND MEAN critic!
When you review other people's stories, you criticize them because of ONE LITTLE ERROR! It's NOT the end of the world! Everyone makes mistakes once in a while and you think everyone is perfect and it's NOT true!
You're not even perfect YOURSELF!
They try their VERY BEST to entertain others and you're ruining their confidence.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself and remorseful.
So I'll tell you this instead of the "have a nice free abusive day", shut your trap up, change your attitude, and try to be nice for once in a lifetime, jerk.
Oh, and by the way, I'm the one who used to have the ToD and saw your review.
(It used to be Sonic and Shadow 75, but now it's Slick the Wolf.)
At this rate, you'll end up as the most hated author on FANFICTION!
| Rose Pattern chapter 4 . 9/18/2012
Hey, Mr. Critic
This story is boring, and confusing. :(
Have a nice abusive free day, jerk.
| Silverexorcist chapter 1 . 8/20/2012
I, personaly, like this story. The only thing I really found kind of annoying was that the first chapter is kind of choppy. The story never really flowed because I had to reread what you had written multiple times to see what you had meant. That, even if it is correct and well written, is not good when your readers can't understand what you are saying. An example, here you wrote: Clatter could be heard. Multiple mechanical sounds reached him. Alarmed, Silver asked her to stop explaining.
It would flow much better if you instead said something like: Suddenly, clatter was heard. It was heard multiple times and it seemed mechanical in nature. Alarmed at the sounds, Silver silenced Rouge's explaining of his sore limbs.
Hope this helps in some way in your future writings. :)
| Random Reviewer chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
Well, it's an okay story to say the least. The beggining was really confusing. For me, I'm not sure about any one else. I scimmed the last part, Because I found it a bit draggy and boring to read.
All together you have an okay story, I'm not going to read the rest, as I have a lot of fics I'm reading at the moment.
-A Random Reviewer
| Phantomask chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
I agree with a lot of reviews on here, most of them are hateful.
You think you're so great? YOU'RE JUST ANOTHER FANFICTION AUTHOUR! You're not "special" and the reason you get flamed, is because you flame other people, who really try their best, and you knock them down! I bet you've killed the confidence of many young writers! And I bet they left the site, all because of you!
And to be honest, I didnt like your story at all! It didn't really make any sense to me! It was boring!
I don't know who you think you are, but you're just like very other person on this site! Except most of those people, put joy into people's hearts by giving them some praise, and some constructive critisism! I don't care if I made a tiny spelling error! And you certainly don't have to right a whole page about it!
You're rude. I am disgusted by how you act. Sure your story didn't have many spelling errors, why don't we get you a trophy?! I read a few of your stories and one thing I noticed; NONE OF THEM MAKE SENSE!
-Have a nice, and abuse-free day... WHATEVER! WHY DO YOU ALWAYS SAY THAT?
| PeachFan900 chapter 1 . 8/11/2012
Unbelivable. Simply, UNBELIVABLE. I am so peeved off and disgusted with you no words can describe how upset I am right now.
You go a variety of peoples' stories and leave rude and hurtful reviews (for the most part consisting of Sonic the Hedgehog fics).
Exactly just, WHO do you think you are? Oh, I know:
The almighty Lord Kelvin who is smarter, better and superior to every other lovely person who decides to write stories here...
You're NOT the lord of fanfiction. You are NOT everybody's leader. You don't even OWN this site.
Do you know there's even a PETITION that ALOT of people have joined out to get you BANNED from fanfiction for life?
They're doing that 'cause they don't want to be banned and have their stories removed. I don't blame them. It's scary (and creepy) to know there's some guy out there trying get as many people, reported and banned as possible.
Now, I have seen a wide range of reviewers in my time here on this amazing site; Nice, Supporting reviewers... People-who-nicely-tell-you-what-you-did-wrong-so-you-can-improve reviewers... even TROLLS...
But you just don't compare.
I am not lying when I say that, I have seen TROLLS that are nicer than you.
Here's a tip: don't GO and leave a harsh and rude review on some random person's story and embarass and humiliate the author.
Who knows, you might get alot less haters and flames on your stories that way.
Speaking of which, I read a Sonadow story on the Sonic archive just last night, (yes, I like yaoi. Got a problem with that? Didn't think so...) and you left a harsh review (flame in my opinion) when that story was just a BIRTHDAY gift for someone. And the story only had ONE small error in it. Yet you flamed that, too.
That was a perfectly GOOD story! You said and I quote (so that way all your 'fans' can understand what i'm talking about):
"The thing with birthday presents offered so publicly is that they tend to be dodgy.
As I started reading, it was difficult to tell how much I should take for granted and what to criticise for. AU, AU...AU. This called for for a very dodgy start. You shock readers with a reality that exists nowhere in canon and then force your way back by explaining why B is not C. It does take a while to connect Demon equals Shadow equals Butler without any useful exposition prior. Some background would have been more functional than the fetish outfit description, for example.
The audience comes in cold, so you can't expect them to be pleased with such colour so early into the chapter. What happened next, with the AU supernatural somethings about demons, hell and barons fighting one another for power just went over, right there.
Unless this is some sick joke, the story wants to be treated seriously. As such, the audience will get short-circuited in an instant. You can't take all of this seriously. There is no way anyone on this public site that you chose to display the story on would find everything dandy in the plot. The amount of concepts you squeezed into this chapter is simply too much. It's hard enough to swallow the fact you put Mephiles as Shadow's boss. And the unbelievable is growing at every point.
My suggestion: slow down with the new. Confusion is a risk when you rush to finish a story. This chapter has ideas you should have dwelt upon and expanded, so the audience is there to understand the key points of the plot. It's the quality of a concept that matters.
Have a nice, abuse-free day."
But do you truly want to know what's so IRONIC about you?
YOUR stories aren't any better than the ones you leave flames on.
THIS story i'm leaving this review on isn't all that great.
Now, I could sit here and waste my precious time ranting on and on about how your sentences and dialogue seriously lack emotion, how your sentences are choppy and are flat out boring to death (a MAJOR turn-off for potential readers), or, hell, even how confusing it get's to even understand and grasp what's going on!
Us, as readers try to "paint a picture" as most say, in our minds of what's going on in the story. We want to be pulled in, FEEL like we're actually in the story with the character's. But it's too difficult with your story 'cause there's abosolutely. No. Emotion.
Do you understand what i'm saying?
You should, scratch that, NEED to learn it.
Trust me, it will help you out.
But, the point i'm trying to make here, because I just KNOW you're probably dying to read what I have to say as previous authors have said before me,
Your stories aren't perfect.
Neither is anybody else's, I, as an author, know my stories aren't perfect either. I admit that.
This is the reason WHY was made!
So people young and old, new or experienced to writing, from any type of background come together to not only post specially writen stories for our favorite Games, Cartoons, Movies, Books, etc. and connect with other's who share the same intrest's as us, BUT to improve and blossom as the great writer you can truly be!
I'm sure we can all relate to posting their first story and then look at it later on down the road seeing how much quality it lacks compared to the ones we most recently wrote.
This is the reason why you should go easy on a person when your leaving a review. 'Cause you don't know what the story means to them; it could be their first story, or maybe even their second or third and they're just trying to get some consructive criticism to improve.
You give the rude, hurtful, flaming type of criticsim.
Which is not the type you should give. My biggest issue here is you need to be NICER.
So the next time you leave a review on somebody's story, stop and think for a minute,
'Maybe this is their first story or maybe they're looking for someone to give them a helping hand with their grammar or punctuation. Maybe I should leave a nice review and help them if I see a mistake. Who know's maybe i'll even proof-read it for them if I see they need that badly'
Always treat others the way YOU would want to be treated. Now, I know this phrase is old and very cliche saying, but it's the truth. This is something you should really live by.
I hope you read my review and will now try to be nicer to the folk here on fanfiction.
P.S. Have a nice abuse free day? Only if you try to be nicer...