God they banter like a fabulous coupe from a 1940s movie. All that’s missing are cigarettes and martinis or sidecars. I love it. I love it. And yes, Bella needs to be a little jealous. BTW what’s her gift? She must have one because she is the chillest Buffy watching, one meal having newborn held in only by a deadbolt I’ve ever read. Phew...:-)

Okay I have a few questions: was the muscle curly headed stud cruising Edward in the bar Emmett? Haha! Will Rosalie and Alice tell Charlie about meeting Edward and then him leaving the bar after Bella left? In other words another cockblock. Are the canon Cullens not in the story much and it’s mostly Bella and Edward? I never mind that.

Now the most important bit. Edward has the very similar sexy arrogance as Cockyback EC. I adore him and Sideline is next on my reading list so this is a delicious primer. This ToI Edward’s inner monologue is delightful. Thank you!

First of all the cockblock Jacob provided was hysterical. And so was Edwards reaction. Perhaps he should get rid of that body. Even I throw Chinese cartons away after take away is done. Second I love all of Joss’s shows but I’m not so big a fan (And I Am) that I can’t fully appreciate to hilarious fucking commentary from Edward during the show. Genius! And Bella’s manipulations are on the way to wait for it...Legend-dary. Well played. ;-p

Okay he’s sexy, so sexy, arrogant, one track minded and an Asshole but boy is he fun. Jadore him! He basically did to Bella and promised Bella the life that Victoria did to him. Just a more on the actual mated side which I don’t think he even understands YET how could he he was made by cray cray. And of course he isn’t sadistic but he does seem to enjoy what he is. I mean jeeze who rips off arms while fucking. Victoria that’s who. When is that crazy coming to call. I also think it’s a great twist that he loves getting her pissed and ends up being his own cockblocker. Poor Jake, bye, bye bye...

Is your Edward go Ng to be a complete dipshit the entire story? :

It has been a while since laughed this much while reading a fanfic
The story is well written and has a great story line and the dynamic between Edward and Bella makes for some really hilarious moments

Wow this is one of the best fics I've ever read. Fucking amazing. Thank you.

I like your brand of vampire and Smugward! Thanks for sharing!

So is your first day as a vampire and what do you want to do? Watch TV! I like Buffy too.
Edward is hilarious! It's refreshing and a nice change. Great writing.

I know that they can't get along right away for the sake of the story but I want they all in love and hunting animals already! Kidding! Loving bad Edward!

Yes! Stalker Jacob is so annoying.

It's 2019! I have no idea how I never read this before. This Edward is very different but I'm hooked already!

I loved the cow as pet part. Damn I laughed so hard when spikes was taking birth. Damn... U made our favorite vamp be a midwife of cows

sorry, this story is very well written, but i just can’t get past what a complete douchebag edward is in this. nothing he could say or do would make him changing bella like he did forgiveable. can’t keep reading.

I loved your story! Laughed much. Very creative would have been just as good with only about 10% on the f word usage and using the Lords name in vain attempt in to create humor was unnecessary, there are other adjective, not to mention you will have to answer for that unless you ask Jesus to represent you. My the Lord bless you!