Reviews for Upon a Star
The Dark One Rising chapter 4 . 1/5
I'm sure she wants adventure, and she did not need much prodding. Even so, she doesn't know Jack all that well. Why follow her beyond the wall? In that regard, she is acting as most young heroes do. They tail after the strange new person that enters their life. At least Everly hesitated, just a bit.

Those reactions amused me so very much. Instead of potentially fearing for her life, she was more worried about Alvar's state of undress. Yes, he didn't harm her. He did, however, harm Everly's new friend. That should be enough to incite fear.
The Dark One Rising chapter 3 . 1/4
The rest of this doesn't seem too bad, but that song felt so out of place. Why pick a song like that? Why not just find some song that was popular in the Victorian Era?

Really, now. She doesn't regard Victoria as her true mother nor Humphrey as her true father, despite them having raised her. Yes, they told her she wasn't theirs by blood, but what should that matter? For all intents and purposes, that is her family. We're they so horrible that she can stand them?

Did they tell her just how she came to be with them? It may not be so, but it seems like she was abandoned. Wouldn't she rather forget about her "foul" birth parents and cling to the people who took her in? Are they really that repulsive?
The Dark One Rising chapter 2 . 1/3
Why in the world did the send the kid to Victoria? I suppose that's a question that will be answered later. Still, if she needed to go to the other side of the Wall, why Victoria? Wasn't there some better person to give her to?
The Dark One Rising chapter 1 . 1/3
I am a bit confused. Did stars actually fall to earth? If so, did the witch bewitch them to kill? If not, what were they? They were found and killed by the king's men, so they could not have been mere apparitions. If they were actually stars that had been bewitched, were they killed without having been given the chance to explain?
ReillyScarecrowRocks chapter 13 . 7/22/2011
gah, Jack and Alvar need to stop pussyfooting about and realise they're meant to be together

excellent advice, Abigail *nods head in agreement*

love how you've managed to develop so many OC's that just fit with the story so well!

Autumn O'Shea Swan chapter 13 . 6/30/2011
Way to go Everly! I hope Alvar gets to them soon. And that Bendel's curse gets broken.
znk99fg7 chapter 12 . 3/15/2011
Yes a new chapter! I am in love with this story. Your writing is absolutley fabulous!

Write again soon xxx
Autumn O'Shea Swan chapter 12 . 3/12/2011
Aw! Alvar! He cares! I knew it.
L3ftOfCent3r chapter 12 . 3/12/2011
FINALLLLY an update! ;)

And...ummm...huh? Alvar, the ruthless warrior, comes from a cute little village with cheery people? *looks around* Uh, what? But, see! That just makes him even move lovable because he's just full of surprises. AND! Alvar the milkman...AHEM... *fans self* Love this chapter! Alvar's mother is just as wonderful as he is. Gotta love moms and their ways of telling on their children...especially if it's something you don't want to be told! You're such a great storyteller and your characters are so vivid! This story is AWESOME! Update soon!
L3ftOfCent3r chapter 11 . 2/14/2011
"He despised that here, she bowed herself like a true slave, without any fight, without that loveable defiance of hers."

YEESSSSSSSSS! Admit it already, Alvar-you're crazy about Jack! Yay, I'm so happy he saved her! Garris is a total creep! He deserves to be covered in vomit regularly. Ha, ha. LOL, that was awesome! Love it, love it!

Next chapter, please. ;)
Autumn O'Shea Swan chapter 11 . 2/12/2011
Well done. Poor Jack.
ReillyScarecrowRocks chapter 11 . 2/12/2011
i really like this story, it has everything a good story needs and it's really well written!

Exmoorpony chapter 11 . 2/12/2011
Great! Keep going! Everything's positively perfect! You have all my requirements for perfection in fact.

- romance, but not lemons

- a plucky heroine (Jack)

- a giggly girl character (Everly)

- an awful villain

- a changing villain/hero

Please write more!
znk99fg7 chapter 10 . 2/6/2011
I have not been able to function since you wrote the last chapter! I often check to see if you've posted it and I am not ashamed to say do a happy dance when you have :D Great chapter x
L3ftOfCent3r chapter 10 . 2/4/2011
ZzzOMG! You updated! Yay!

Hmmm. So, was Bendel cursed with "multiple personality disorder", or what? Geez, his mood swings could give a girl wiplash! Poor Everly, but lucky for her he doesn't know that she's half-star. *GASP* What would he do if he did! And, Garris! He was just going to let Alvar die! And, Alvar is still doing business with him! WHY? I guess he doesn't know that Garris was just going to let him drown, but I wonder...if he did...would he still be in it for the money? Man, he needs to let it go! Jack saved his life! I think there's some kind of debt to be paid for that! ALVAR, SAVE JACK!

Anywayz, that was great, as usual! Keep going! Can't wait to read the next chapter! ;)


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