|Reviews for A Murder in Osaka|
| BubblyShell22 chapter 1 . 2/17/2010
Awesome story so far. I really enjoy it. You're a very good writer.
The Bubbly One,
| Fey Halfkin chapter 11 . 1/14/2010
I liked it. Good plot, very true to a detective story like Pirot or Holmes. And I loved how the turtle clan laid their false trails in identity.
Just fix the posted chapters: repeating scenes really hurt when tripped on. Check out 5 and 6 as an example.
As for picking an epilogue... perhaps rather then making it random choosing, put a hint in title? Dark. Happy. Just a hint without telling.
Nice job over all. Thanks
| Backseat Writer chapter 11 . 10/31/2009
This was definitely a more upbeat epilogue than the first, showing more of the sense of relief felt that they pulled off the deed successfully even with hiccups than anything else. I enjoyed the insight into the background of the characters in this AU, and how the relationships altered.
To be honest, this particular epilogue struck me as more of a intermediary between the story end and the other epilogue. With the exception of a few lines here and there, it could easily have been an extra chapter to to the story. But the tone of the relieved and happier ending is certainly truer to the book than the last, which was truer, IMHO, to the TMNT. I can see why you went with both -depending on the day I may prefer one over the other.
I can see how the meeting between Toriop and Leo came about very easily, but there was something there that felt a bit awkward. I'm not sure what, and it may just be me. It was true to the personalities of those involved, and allowed us to finish more consistently with Toriop's point of view than the other epilogue with Leo.
You might want to go over the chapter and put some kind of break between Toriop's view and the others at the end, as it was somewhat confusing and distracting doing the jump between the two.
All in all, an absolutely wonderful story!
| Backseat Writer chapter 10 . 10/31/2009
Sorry for the late review... I didn't have internet for the past week. :(
That was beautiful.
You've shown their choice very believably, addressing not only their upbringing but the effect of the years, events, and maturity on their personalities while making the decision. Their regrets, the weight of their memories... I could feel the emotions between them in the dojo, and I started crying as soon as I realized what they were planning. Even though they did so to regain their honor, it was a very honorable and noble thing for them to do.
My eyes are still wet.
I loved the comment about how everything was coming full circle, and the sense that life would continue on. The skip out of Leo's view was a bit startling at first, but made perfect sense after a few sentences, and I thought Benjiro's observation was an absolutely perfect ending.
The only other hiccup I really encountered in this was my surprise that they were able to get through their plastrons so easily. It pulled me out of the story for a minute, but I suppose after planning everything else so carefully they would have planned for that too.
In short, even if this was the only epilogue, I think it was a fitting end to the story.
Now I'm off to read the next one!
| Jaded Bell chapter 10 . 10/25/2009
Hello, I just want to tell you how wonderful this story has turned out. I have been reading it from beginning to end and while I wait for the next epilogue, this current ending has a fitting end to the turtles and their importance on honor.
Excellent story, can't wait to see your sequels.
| Backseat Writer chapter 9 . 10/18/2009
Three epilogues? O. You're evil! :D
Wow. You must have done quite a bit of language research to catch those dialectal differences... I didn't even realize that Toriop was even testing them with it most of the time! The flashbacks were an especially nice touch, even if they were a bit out of character (since this was in Toriop's point of view). I liked the little glimpse of what actually happened, and the excerpts have a more urgent and passionate feel to them that Toriop's much cooler and logical scenes counter balance. I could almost see Karai's face and Leo's expression when he's speaking to her -and I'm glad I wasn't in that room!
FF seems to have done something odd again though. It repeated the chapter twice in the same file, starting over again just as they agree on the first explanation.
Overall, very well done and an excellent TMNT homage to the book! I look forward to the many epilogues!
| Backseat Writer chapter 7 . 10/14/2009
Yay! New chapters! I was hoping you'd post today, and you did!
Since you asked, I think you're doing a good job of portraying the characters Toriop interviews. They're certainly recognizable as who they are while still being who they are pretending to be (if that make sense...). The doctor could use a little fleshing out, but he was pretty vague/nonexistent in the book too so that's a non-issue.
I'm liking Turiop more as this goes along, and I'm really enjoying trying to unravel how things went down in TMNT style (especially with the specialized and altered histories) rather than the book!
FYI, the last two chapters seem to have been repeated. Did FF go weird or am I missing more goodies somewhere?
| Backseat Writer chapter 3 . 10/3/2009
*Looks around* Where are all the reviews? You mean I'm the first? *Shrugs*
I really like what you've done here! I'm not a particular fan of Murder on the Orient Express or Agatha Christie (Her writing style bothers me, no idea why) but I always found her to have great stories worth reinterpreting. From the looks of it, you've done an amazing job adapting it here, with enough clues for those who haven't read (or seen) a version of the book to still get what's going on.
I like Turiop :D (Nice touch with the names btw.) He does a good job of evoking the original character while still being someone new. And I really like the symbolism of what you did to "Nagi Sakura." It definitely added a TMNT touch to the story.
Keep writing! TMNT needs some more old fashioned mysteries, and I'm looking forward to seeing how you reinterpret this amazing storyline.