|Reviews for An Effortless Show of Segue Prowess|
| sonofthehills chapter 5 . 11/28/2015
OK, I saw this was discontinued, but I will still say it is very entertaining, and I enjoyed this much.
| Pahan chapter 5 . 2/3/2015
It's decently written, but I was hoping for a fic about Hermione in Ravenclaw where she has her own development and her own adventures and interesting achievements, only intersecting with Harry's when the situation warranted.
However, they are brought together on Hogwarts Express, and from then on, Hermione doesn't actually do anything other than facilitate Harry doing interesting things.
It's also big on some Hermione fanon, like Hermione being supposedly obsessed with rules, and it shows up even when it wouldn't make sense narratively. For example, in the scene where they come up with the Boycott plan - Harry's idea, of course - they spend several paragraphs discussing the consequences of boycotting Snape's class, like loss of points and detentions, then, suddenly, out of nowhere, Hermione mentions that it's against the rules, and Cho lectures her that it's OK to break the rules sometimes. If I had a penny for every scene where that exchange played out (though it's usually Harry doing the lecturing)...
All in all, while this writer is clearly quite good, I find myself glad that this fic is discontinued. There are too many fics where Hermione's only role is to facilitate Harry's greatness (and maybe be his love interest) as it is.
| FrictionX42 chapter 5 . 5/24/2014
Fantastic work, and an interesting premise.
| MuggleRavenclaw chapter 5 . 9/6/2013
Dang it, man! Great story here! Come back to it!
| MuggleRavenclaw chapter 1 . 9/5/2013
Ok, so I just posted a review on your Halle Evans fic about fifteen minutes ago, whereupon I promptly began reading this one. I love it. Very original premise, excellent first chapter, and I LOVE Ravenclaw Harry stories.
| PaulBlay chapter 4 . 12/12/2012
Ravenclaw door : "I would also have accepted 'Your phone number'"
| Trayus chapter 1 . 11/10/2012
It's a darn shame this story is abandoned. There are so few stories that portray Cho in a positive light, and I really like your enthusiastic, slightly mischievous take on her. Even if you didn't plan to pair her up with Harry (much as I wish that were the case) it would've been a pleasure to see their friendship evolve.
Looking forward to your updates on your other HP works. Although I'm a H/C fan first and foremost, H/Hr is definitely up there for me.
| ZanyMuggle chapter 5 . 10/26/2012
This is an excellent story. All of your other work is unabashed HP/HG, and that's ok, but this one is ship-open with lots of ship potential. Furthermore, the story itself is quite interesting. Of all your discontinued works, this is the one I'll miss the most.
| Man of Kent - Railwayman chapter 5 . 10/18/2012
I really like this, shame it is discontinued. Any chance you will change that?
| HarnGin chapter 5 . 9/19/2012
I'm sorry you decided to discontinue this story. It's quite entertaining.
| Iskadrow chapter 5 . 9/7/2012
The idea that spawned this fic has merit, I think, and translated quite well into the first chapter and the interactions of a slightly more experienced Hermione with an ickle Harriekins there. Not sure where it fell apart, but from some point onward it became a slightly disorienting reading experience for me - as if the story lost its focus.
That said, I had great fun with the latter part of your last chapter here, and the final line made me crack up. I get what Mrs. Rowling did with the protections on the Philosopher's Stone, making them a convenient series of challenges for a group of first years, but they make no real sense in the world the story is set in. Granted, one could assume the Mirror of Erised to be some kind of trap, but Quirrelmort did not seem to be particularly affected or anything ..
| elmoryakhan chapter 5 . 7/27/2012
Please don't discontinue this fantastic story. A story like this deserves to be finished. Please come back to this story. If for some reason you still can't or won't continue this story then please give it up for adoption or turn it into a fanfiction challenge.
But I still hope you change your mind and finish this story yourself.
| Runecutter chapter 5 . 6/27/2012
First things first: I LOVED your premise that Hermione and Harry would not be in the same year. Sadly you've not made the best use of this premise, as they still seem to be thick as thieves, where it should have gone rather towards making her a honorary big sister that keeps an eye on him but is not really the same "best friend" she was in his yeargroup... E.g. i don't buy it that the three "graces from the Eagle's tower" go after the boys when the troll is loose. In second year they should know enough that a prefect or head boy/girl has more talent and knowledge to deal with such a dangerous creature and they could probably send five of them without danger for the kids as a group of 70 Ravenclaws led only by one prefect still should be strong enough to hold of any troll easily... and the five prefects or Ravenclaw-head would not be helpless either.
I'm not sure what i think about the idea to "hide" Harry's broom as Hermione's was HER idea... i'm very prone to think that i'd rather believe Harry convinced her with the help of the two quidditch addicted girls instead of her volunteering. THEN she could mellow and ruffle his hair and state something like "as if i'd ever could say no" or stuff. :) But that's of course the "big sister line" i've kind of played around with in my head since the story started.. so Harry's Harem might work different ;)
I loved the train... without exception... showing him his first spells and talking about home and all things was nice and sweet and fit perfectly with all IC and story intern personalities...
The sorting was brilliant too and the boycott was one of the funniest things i've ever read on this page.
And to turn to Flitwick with Harry's homelife, Snape's inability to stay decent and professional in the classroom and the problem with "Fluffy" came along very nice! Finally a Head of House who cared and got active... and seemingly more and more pissed of with Dumbledore :)
Then the strike team clearing out the maze... i was all but rolling on the floor from laughing... that's so crazy it was incredible.
So... i love what you have done inside your story to divert from canon... and yet i'm not completelly satisfied with your story... For one thing there's the thing with Hermione not being much different at all, despite having seen a whole year without Harry and not coming to Hogwarts timid and shy and hanging around with him because he's her lifeline in a strange and dangerous world... I'd really see her more as a not so close figure in the style of a big sister (not so stupid like the Weasleys that only show brotherly affection when there's a love interest to intimidate or a holiday to celebrate and the rest of the year don't notice when their kid sister is posessed by the Devil's apprentice himself...) and kind of mentor for his first 2-3 years.
Then Harry isn't much different from Canon too.. but he's now in a completelly different house and it should show in more than just two mentions of him reading... Okay he was big in the Potioneer's resistance, but then that was a team effort of at least six? people... and he was only the reason to dare it... and the source of the idea from his muggle days.
I don't know... it's so weird to see him almost like in his Gryffindor days in spite of being a Claw... but that might also be a consequence of the strong focus on the three girls as discussion partners and pastime compatriots.
So in the end i'M sad about the "discontinued" notive as i've liked what i've read... but i'm also kind of in agreement with you that it had reached a dead point where the accumulated weaknesses became more than obvious and a rewrite might be the best option... i just don't know what to feel... I'm ripped apart between radiating awe and adoration and being disappointed because the story did not quite live up to its extraordinary great potential.
Another thing i'm very sure about what i feel... get rid of these boring and distracting intro/extro parts... Even with Bobmin and his Alyx I'm no fan of the unconnected "Extras" that disguise as frame narration or even disclaimer texts...
| beege chapter 4 . 5/31/2012
Whaaaaa . . . when did you mark this story discontinued? It was such a clever, fun idea and I, for one, was holding out hope that you'd come back to it in time.
| twilliams1797 chapter 5 . 4/29/2012
I don't see why you discontinued this piece, it seems like a fun story, and I for one am enjoying the girls' teasing of Harry. The idea of three other kids hitting up the puzzle for the philosopher's stone is quite original, I think, at least I have not seen any others with this one.
c'mon, give it a whirl and finish it!