Reviews for Choices
thena-ditey chapter 1 . 10/9/2011
Fantastic. I always prefer to start at the beginning with a new writer, and I'm already hooked. Can't way to read the others.
Athena64 chapter 1 . 9/3/2011
Good as always, but I definitely would have seen a continuance to that ! Thank you!
Johonna Marie chapter 1 . 3/4/2011
What a great first piece! Raph seems believable to me, Jinx is the one that seems a bit OOC.

But im glad Mary and Marshall made a baby step!
R J Lupin's Kat chapter 1 . 10/24/2010
See? I made it over to read your older stuff. :)

Now, we've previously chatted about what to expect here, so all that verbiage aside...

I found the introduction into the story coming from Jinx's POV a fascinating aspect; very unique, very refreshing a take. She wasn't *too* needy or self-centered. Just enough to make her in character, but little enough to make her sympathetic and interesting as a caring, *sober* mother.

What fear did you have over Raph? I find him rather *in* character, and your treatment of his English - with just enough stilt to it to make it a secondary tongue - well done and accurate for the character.

Mary's epiphany - and her immediate and slower-to-come reactions to it - spot on. The feelings and realizations are raw, fresh, and she's scared to death of both the implications and the odd flavor. Poor girl.

'...her mind's attic...' - LOVE that! What an awesome analogy. *takes note to verbally use in future*

'... pre-marital smack down.' - *rolls* hahahahaa

I have to wonder - how does Jinx know that Marshall knows about the ultimatum? And then Jinx approaching Marshall, her hand on his cheek in such an adoring, motherly way - well... simply *adorable*.

Oh, how I wish there had been a part two to this... *Loves*
tilleygirl chapter 1 . 10/19/2010
I know I read this when it was first posted but I don't think I had an account then and never reviewed it. So having read virtually everything else you've written since, I'm coming at it with a different perspective.

Several comments. First, I think this was a realistic take on Mary's emotional state after her shooting and return to home. Mary's 'aha' moment was well written.

Second, your portrayal of Marshall is believable, with his desire to back off because that's what Mary wants, but getting right in the thick of it once he knows something is wrong. Protective!Marshall at his best. I don't think I've ever mentioned it, but I love Marshall :)

Third, I like your portrayl of Jinx as not a total waste of space. She sees more than Mary realizes and I liked her conversation with Marshall when she basically tells him Mary loves him.

You wrote this first effort 90% above most of the stuff I've read(or more accurately started to read). There are some grammatical issues, particularly with tense, but overall a solid story. It just makes it so clear how much your writing has continued to improve.

So one year in and it's been an amazing ride. You just keep going girl and getting better. Your avid readers will be fulfilled and grateful :)
ScarletCourt chapter 1 . 8/6/2010
This is some lovely stuff you have here. :) I was chatting with one of my reviewers about IPS FF and she recommended your stories. I'm new to IPS having only seen S1 from iTunes thus far and I have to thank my reviewer for the recommendation.

I haven't seen S2 which I'm guessing this one is set just after that season's finale, but from what I've seen from S1, it captures the characters nicely. Raph is not completely OOC. It might be a slight stretch for him to be drunk and violent, but Raph seems to be that kind of guy with very volatile emotions that with alcohol could boil over, esp if Mary has just ditched him and won't talk to him.

From my perspective of having only seen S1, I'm not sure I've seen this level of emotional interaction between Mary and Marshall, but you were able to convince me that it was quite a believable possibility.

I also think that you used Jinx and Brandi quite well, especially allowing Jinx to use the information she overheard to let Marshall in on Mary's new change of heart.

Very nicely done. Now I'm off to read some of your other lovely stuff. :)
BryteEyez chapter 1 . 6/11/2010
This was your first! O.M.G. Defiantely a fan of your writing! It is like a drug! Keep them coming and I am forever devoted!
A Smiling Cat chapter 1 . 5/27/2010
Well... Looks like I missed this story Actually, I know I read it, but I loved it and forgot to review... I had to make it right so, here I am, again ;) Er, I said I was going to review, not that I had something interesting to say (that would probably be wrong) I always forget the intersting things before I can write them.

So... I really liked Jinx, taking some time to understand and listen to her daughter... And hearing her realization of love for Marshall first Discretly, of course... It would have been too dangerous otherwise. And her and Brandi really wanted to help, but didn't know how... Well, they knew: let Marshall take care of Mary is usually (always) the best solution.

I think you did great with the drunken Raph. Accusing Mary of all these things must have been bad, but the guy didn't realize he was hurting her... Fortunately, someone stopped him.

I loved SuperMann, running to help his damzel in distress... The guy was great in his 'sending Raph aways' and 'taking care of Mary' roles ! I found this part really good ! Marshall really know his partner... I liked how he tells her that he know what she needs better than her. I loved the lines "You need a keeper (oh, that's me)" and "you know what ? My gut was right" It was brillant ! I really love the guy

I liked the fact that Raph asked Mary to choose between him and Marshall, not the work ! And the fact that Jinx tells him at the end let us the suspense. And Mary professing she made the right choice... And the nice declaration from Marshall was so sweet ! Great work, there and with how Mary reacted, too

Well, I know I'm forgetting something but I really can't remember... You wrote another really good story, thank you for posting it here.

Cat :)
sagey chapter 1 . 4/17/2010
tha\lovd it adn how quick mary did choose..and always love how he looks after her..

great story adn I think i have read them all now..

thanks again for sharing

hugs
BrittanyLS chapter 1 . 3/30/2010
As I can tell from your other stories, you are an amazing writer! This is your first story, and it's incredible!
Kay8abc chapter 1 . 11/15/2009
Very nice. I have now read all of your fics, and I really love them. I hope there are more to come.

-Kate
LisaG16 chapter 1 . 10/8/2009
That was terrific...especially Marshall's speech to Mary at the end. :) The big question is, will they make their feelings for each other known now? Write some more!
fireandice1986 chapter 1 . 10/8/2009
i love this story i think if you can you should try for a sequel
superwoman1015 chapter 1 . 10/5/2009
I liked this story. I think you got Mary and Marshall down pretty well. Raph was a bit OOC, but you were already aware of that. I really don't see him getting that violent. We've seen him drunk before, when the FBI were tearing up Mary's house (and the name of the ep is escaping me at the moment) and he wasn't violent in the least, more loopy than anything. I'm actually glad that this story didn't end in a kiss, I think it would have taken something away from the emotion that was present. More chapters would have been handy, just go under my stories and edit, and you can add chapters. Still all in one blow works too. I think this was a very good first shot, thanks for writing, and I look forward to more from you.
Jdragonfire29 chapter 1 . 10/5/2009
Love it! Wish you would continue or do sequel.
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