|Reviews for Harry Potter Last of the Ancients|
| Quietlovingman chapter 3 . 4/11
I like the idea of puttering around the multiverse for fun and profit, but I am really not sure why Harry thinks he needs to find any new tech to handle Tom. At this point, with a cityship in orbit, he can use his scanners to find pretty much anything on the British Isles. He has both ring and beam based transporters, quite possibly access to cloning labs, energy shielding, multiple weapon systems. The only thing missing, would be soldiers. He knows what is keeping Tom alive, the question is does he have the Locket yet? Once he has one of the devices, he can scan for the others, beam them all into a room that is shielded to hell and back, vaporize the items and keep Tom in a stasis pod until he decides what to do with him. Hell, he could keep Tom in a pod without collecting the trinkets. Send some Trinium nanite replicators out on a seek and find mission to 'tag' tom and the death eaters then use the tag to lock on beaming tech. Camelot like Atlantis runs off of Potentia or zero point modules, but I think Rodney McKay coined the term ZPM. According to Dr. Zelenka they "extract vacuum energy from an artificial region of subspace-time until it reaches maximum entropy." Based on that, each one has the equivalent of a wizard tent expanded space inside it that collapses as the charge is spent. Harry should be able to re-cast a space expansion charm on the interior of an expended Potentia to recharge them or make them able to be recharged.
| Quietlovingman chapter 2 . 4/11
I like the dodge you pulled by having the cityship from an AU rather than this one. Does that mean that there is no Stargate program on this world? Or just that the threat of the Ori will not become what it was in this dimension? Are Janus and Ganos Lal ascended in this dimension rather than the original one, and are there any other ascended ancients to interfere with them via their non-interference pact... these are the questions brought to mind when reading this chapter. One thing, there is a significant difference between nodding and shaking your head. Harry keeps 'shaking his head yes' rather than nodding. It's off-putting.
| Quietlovingman chapter 1 . 4/11
I have read one or two other SGHP crossovers, I love the concept that Magic users are Alterans and squibs have the AT gene marker. You stated that this is your first fan-fiction, this first chapter is a bit rough, the conversations and transitions are a bit stilted and could use a bit of revision... (Editing not study) Despite the summary paragraph, I am unclear when in the timeline this event is happening, before the camping trip? Harry didn't discover the cup was in the vault until after being captured by Snatchers and escaping with Dobby's help. By that time he couldn't show his face in the bank without being arrested by Death Aurors. What happened to Ron and Hermione? How old is Harry? He turned 17 the 31st of July after Dumbledore's death. He should be considered an adult in the wizarding world at that age. A few paragraphs setting up the decision to go to the bank, pinning down the timeline and how Harry learned the location would be good. When you are writing an AU, it is best to set up and explain the changes leading up to the plunge into the plot unless you are able to seamlessly integrate the explanation of the changes with the action. Your intro ignoring the AU elements and just jumping into the action makes for a WTF? moment when reading. Having said that, Good start, I hope you continue this and continue to improve your craft of writing. I will be reviewing most chapters as I read this.
| Rangle chapter 1 . 4/4
Hum, O' boy, you kept the original canon personality. I'm going to make a game of counting how many times Harry denies the truth that's staring in front of his eyes.
| Guest chapter 13 . 9/5/2015
Don't like Ginny. She's been programmed by her mother to have a fixation on the boy who lived. She dose not really know Harry or love him for himself. Mrs Weasley is like something straight out of a Jane Austin novel. A manipulative women who wants her daughter to marry into money. I seriously doubt that Ginny who played around with multiple boys while at Hogwarts can really be loyal to any one man. She's more the type that would be driven by the desire of her loins. After all her mother was. Oh come on let's get real. The women had seven children. That's one hell of a sex drive.
| relative1983 chapter 2 . 5/15/2015
I like the idea for this story so far. There is one thing that's slightly annoying though. When someone shakes their head, they mean no. When they nod, they mean yes. Everytime Harry means yes, you have him shaking his head, so that makes it confusing, because I (and a lot of other people with me) read this as: no.
Your story would 'flow' much better if you fixed this tiny mistake.
| Guest chapter 6 . 2/5/2015
So yeah it was good, not what I wanted but enjoyable
I got onto the chapter with babylon 5 where harry was bitchy about killing people... I guess he is pretty bitchy about that shit like the books though so no fault on your part. Erm yeah the whole goblin thing is an over used plot. And the whole harry-is-instantly-smart-and-know-loads-of-information-yet-still-keeps-the-same-personality-and-doesnt-view-everyone-as-ants is also an over used plot.
| ob1292 chapter 13 . 12/20/2014
A good story so far I am eager to see what comes next. As for Harry being with Ginny, personally I am not a Harry/Ginny fan as Ginny is described as being a major FANGIRL and Harry constantly complains about people not seeing the real him so why would he marry someone who does not? I never understood why Rowling put them together, However I have read a few stories where the author seriously altered Ginny's personality removing the Fangirl characteristics and then the pairings made a lot more sense. Also Harry has already stated his desire to avoid being controlled and if Ginny is anything like her mother then she will do what ever she wants and ignore Harry's opinions. The other thing is that Harry wants to father multiple children and having a single partner will severely limit the number of children he is able to father, unless he uses AI and that bring a whole slew of other problems. So I think it would be best for his plans if he found several willing partners, and if Ginny is one of them then it would probably work better, especially if Harry chooses other women with strong personalities that will not easily bend to a mouthy red head. Good Job
| Yinko chapter 5 . 11/14/2014
5 tonnes of water isn't actually that much. I haven't calculated it, but it would Probably fit on the back of a 16 wheeler. It's only 1,320 gallons of water.
| jupimako chapter 18 . 11/10/2014
Awesome! Thanks for letting us know!
| Ddragon21 chapter 9 . 11/7/2014
im glad and hope there will be other girls I mean no offense to ginny lovers but she came out of nowhere and was not there most of the time. I dont see how their relationship bloomed. plus she looks exactly like his mom and has nothing in common now. harry is a genius and powerful and will have much wisdom by the time he is back. plus he is going to other dimensions you could have many more interesting girls like some women from xmen or something. my only consolation is there are more women if this is a harem.
| Ddragon21 chapter 3 . 11/7/2014
also there is metroid I love samus's suit really awesome. maybe he could pick up some creatures or something? halo and other things. also maybe harry can improve himself.
| Ddragon21 chapter 2 . 11/7/2014
eh I hope he goes to non mechanic only universes like stargate and go to maybe anime they have some good technology. like sonic x eggman is a genius with robots. or dragon ball z and capsules that would be interesting to learn.
| Kenshin88 chapter 1 . 11/6/2014
Ha one thousandth review!
| minmaxguy chapter 8 . 11/5/2014
Alittle hypocritcal isn't it? No genoside but ok to kill shadows, No doing it for you when basicly that is exactly what he is doing...Give me terrable tech here is stuff that can hold me back. Harry isn't very good at the whole "keeping on top" thing.