|Reviews for Time Paradox|
| Guest chapter 2 . 8/27/2013
The Bob Marley music slayed me
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/27/2013
| Another Reader chapter 17 . 5/16/2013
Again, random killing (possibly? I couldn't tell whose bodies were supposed to be missing) of minor characters we met the chapter before. I could say that it's better than killing characters we might have attatchment to, but it's sort of sloppy story telling. I always think that getting rid of potentially interesting characters is a waste. But maybe they were just a one gag appearance type thing. As long as you're changing things up, can Barret occasionally babble about something different than spiders? Maybe a minor plot thread where he finally runs out of stash from grassy jack? maybe he gets a different supplier and starts speaking in iambic petameter, or something besides miss-pronouncing spiders constantly. He was almost two dimensional at the beggining, but as time went on, he became a mockery of himself. "Hur hur, Barret's high again! That's funny!"
Still, I'm interested in seeing what happens.
| Another Reader chapter 16 . 5/16/2013
Wow, this chapter was... rather disappointing. I was really enjoying this story. The shift in tone sucks. There is a reason the term 'Cerberus syndrome' is usually an insult.
It feels rushed and unpolished. If you have/had that mission thing as a deadline, than that would make sense. I don't know, maybe I'm just disoriented by the genre shift. What was the point in killing Wedge, Nanaki, and Mrs. Strife? We weren't particularly attatched to them, and their deaths didn't serve any story telling purpose except to say 'shit got real folks!', which could have been handled other ways. Getting rid of characters is a cheap way to add drama. Although I'm sorta glad that Nanaki's gone- speech impediments are f'ing annoying to read! I'm hoping Barret is going to bite it next. Except for the recent buswanker incident, he's been more annoying/boring than funny for many chapters now.
Further, if you want to make unit zero batshit insane, try less rapping, and make more of his attacks and rants eldritch abomination themed. I have not read Hellsing (though I know of it,) and Zach seemed really ax-crazy despite saying perfectly sane things (from his point of view.)
On the whole, if you're dead set on making this story dark and dramatic (which alienates most of the fanbase, sense they were here for a comedy... Why do authors keep trying this when it rarely if ever works?), I'd seriously consider polishing the second half some more. I don't know why Chaos turned up when he did, I'm pretty sure wedge had met Zero before now. It also seemed that Chaos, despite being a 'god' was practically impotent, and was completely arbitrary and unnecessary. You killed the son of Mr. Die Hard so he could turn into a god that was less effective in battle than Zack/Alucard. I understand you are making it up as you go, but... try to make events follow themes and be important to the flow of the narrative. If you took Chaos out of the battle, nothing would have changed, and no one would miss it.
Speaking of making it up as you go along, I thought that it was clever that you made Tifa come back as well, AND that it worked perfectly with her reaction in 'the morning after...', since she would react the same as him to sleeping with an alt reality version of her spouse. However, if she really was back in time way back then, she totally would have called him on it when he named that drink before they got drunk.
Finally, does if OTP means one true pairing, does OTT mean one true threesome? Here's hoping it does!
| Master Chaos chapter 3 . 2/14/2013
ok I loved how you made a the Word boom with the word boom...it took me a second to get it, other than that. epic story, I haven't stopped laughing.
| thequietreader chapter 17 . 2/13/2013
Wow. This is... a story.
I caught up to this in a couple hours this fine caffeine-powered evening, and I've gotta admit, I did not understand roughly a third of it. (Someone's gotta get out more. That someone is me.) I have also got to admit that I adored roughly nine tenths of it. (Hey, can't have everything, right? The complexity of the plot bemuses me, that's all. I am not the sharpest light bulb in the drawer.)
(The sharpest light bulb, of course, being the broken one.)
(All credit to Jeph Jacques.)
I love the Cerebus Syndrome, though - isn't it Cerebus, not Cerberus? Just sayin'. - and this chapter especially is both entertaining and intriguing. While it took me a moment to realize exactly who the new narrator was, and exactly what gender he is in this alternate universe, once it hit me I moved on to hugely enjoying the distinct voice. Kudos for that, by the by.
If you're still in need of a beta, I would gladly offer my services. I don't post stories on FFN, but I'm a grammar Nazi, a member of the Plot-Road Maintenance Worker's Association (filling up plot holes since 800 BC!), the founder of the Punctuation Erudition Restitution Intention Of Doom (P.E.R.I.O.D.) and the copy-editor of two published books and two published short stories. Also a fan of ridiculosity and run-on sentences. Sorry 'bout that... I'm in rehab for the latter. Please contact me if you're interested!
| Guest chapter 17 . 1/31/2013
Hot Damn! You really don't miss a beat do you?
| dzk87 chapter 17 . 1/23/2013
Wow... just... wow.
| dzk87 chapter 16 . 1/23/2013
Wut. Zero is nothing like Kumagawa though. Maybe you tried to get that, but it didn't work. He still looks GOOD, mind you.. but not like Kumagawa (incidentally, my favorite character to exist ever.)
| dzk87 chapter 7 . 1/23/2013
Wow... alternate Rufus is actually Kamina? Who knew.. I want some Fate/Stay night stuffz now..
| PurpleInk3 chapter 2 . 1/22/2013
Not a fan of time travel but I'm making an exception because ohmaigawd Barret!one
| SapphyreMyst chapter 17 . 1/22/2013
It's been a long time since I've read this, but to clarify - the first person narrating is Elfe, right? And then the second is Cloud?
Aeris, Zack, Nanaki, and Wedge are dead?
Vincent's monologue cracked me up. The pec dance - there are no words.
What I love about this story is how it takes a completely cliche and generally repetitive trope and turns it on it's head - the pop culture references and stereotypes taken to the extreme were hilarious. And the seriousness (or dark insanity, if you will) somehow enhances all of that. The lighthearted narration is awesome as well.
Wonderful read - looking forward to more. Keep going!
| Irksome Productions chapter 17 . 1/21/2013
YESSsssss! Glad to have you back, SamJaz!
This chapter was excellent, as always.
Am I correct in my suspicions that...Hm... How to phrase this...
That Aeris would, in fact, love a cannon?
| Why knot chapter 17 . 1/21/2013
It's great to see this story again.
I can't wait to see what you decide to come up with for Shelke as most of the other characters are awesome. Kinda surprised about Elfe since you said she flashed Cloud earlier but and "Clunge is Clunge" so does Elfe have an ingrown penis or something?
| Have a Little Feith chapter 17 . 1/21/2013
You really had to add gangnam style, mate?
My thoughts about Elfe? In the words of the wise General Ackbar:
"IT'S A TRAP!"
I personally prefer reverse traps. Naoto in particular is really pretty, though I seem to have moved on from her to Marie. Marie's a goddess, and I mean that literally. I played through P4 the Golden, so I would know.