|Reviews for The Peril Within|
| Parched Dreamer chapter 8 . 11/11/2014
*starts clapping slowly
*audience behind me joins in thunderous applause
*fullhouse standing ovation commences
*i quietly scurry back to my room and lament over the fact that I'll never be able to write a fanfic as good as this one
| Slightly Dead chapter 8 . 6/30/2011
The Sailor Senshi have kids and they come from the future and they're really powerful and their mums are all confused who are they why are they here what will they do now
I've seen that so many times, I thought I'd pass on this. But I'm so glad I read this, even though it's 11pm now. This is definitely going on my fav list. I had a few things I wanted to say while I was reading, but I forgot half of them and I'll just put down what I do remember.
- I really like how you twisted and inverted it so that Mercadian came from the past and not the future. It's also kinda sad, since he can't ever go back, but it's still awesome.
- Also enjoyed how you could write the main-ish storyline of Mercadian and weave in the Mako-Ami relationship without it being awkward. Honestly, I was expecting Mercury to have 'concieved' Mercadian by some weird born-from-the-energy-of-the-planet explanation. Well, at least I got the born-from-energy bit right!
- The Mina-Rei was skilfully done. *deep bow* I like how you could throw in multiple developing couples and still make it clear that, hey, this is the main one, and this is the side one, but isn't the side one nice to read too? The Mina-Rei didn't take over the story, but neither did the Mako-Ami. Actually, just good job on the overall balance of the story!
I really can't remember the rest of what I was gonna say. Mental note: get a notepad just for writing down reviews. Keep up the good work, I'll keep stalki - er, following your stories with great interest!
| Raigeki chapter 6 . 2/13/2011
Wow my gf is studying medicine and the conversation around study the two characters had in this chapt reminded me so much of one i had a week ago, it is a bit creepy!
But I think that's part of why I like your story so much. The way the romance developed isn't through grand sweeping gestures but through small sweet moments that's are believable and not too corny. Certainly the timing sometimes seems odd, but I can see where it is coming from. And the romantic pacing is good. I like that they are dating and not suddenly announcing their unending love for each other.
The other thing I really like about this story is the evil threat, how the bad guy is stealing the innocence / creative spark / drives and ambitions of youth. Not only does it go well with the Ami/son plot but it's just seems to be a great theme to me. It resonates in a way.
Anyway, nice chapter, look forward to reading the rest.
| TirOrah chapter 8 . 1/23/2011
Wow, I was thoroughly impressed by this. Really! For starters, it was really well-written - I can't say how much a story disappoints me when the plot appeals to me, and the text starts hurting my eyes the moment I start reading.
I think the last couple of chapters could've had a slower pace, especially since it seems to me the Outer Senshi had just arrived and then joined in for some butt kicking immediately. Then again this story isn't about them, it's about Ami and (mostly) Mako-chan.
The story itself was very, very interesting. In a way it's so very Sailor Moon-like. The action, the romance, the humor, and let's not forget Usagi's rap about hope and dreams (etc.) That fits so very well.
The ending, then, satisfied me like few endings could, because it also fits with the theme of Sailor Moon. Not destroying evil, but rather turning it into something good for everyone.
I have to admit that at eight chapters, I was wholly convinced this was unfinished. But your chapters have such a great length and flow to them that I do feel like I just read a complete saga. At one time, while reading chapter 3, I was surprised that not only was I STILL on chapter 3, I wasn't even halfway. XD
Finally, the Ami/Mako moments were amazingly cute, but also heartbreaking if the situation called for it. I found it to be very realistic.
Dear Kami, what a story.
| xxIceEyesxx27 chapter 8 . 12/30/2010
I haven't checked this story in a while. something reminded me of it and I went searching for it. i"m glad that I did. love the ending. thanks for finishing it.
| CelticPhoenixProductions chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
You have a surplus of talent. Have you ever tried being an author? The hours are great, the pay is minimal, but I would imagine having a legion of fans is reward enough :-D
If you ever novelize, let me know.
| Shrodeddrknss13 chapter 8 . 12/13/2010
Wow. Very very well done. Congrats on finishing it in such a good way too after such a long hiatus.
| Rukangel chapter 8 . 11/5/2010
awww i was expecting alittle more on this one y don't u write a sequel of whe he arived to crystal tokyo? i really would love to see that and how his life is there and wt not if he has sisters and brothers and maybe him returning for a visit after a while ? ... trowing ideas here and there but i loved it KEEP IT UP~~~
| Crosswood chapter 8 . 10/28/2010
**Blinks and then dances the chair dance of joy** Now this is a very pleasant surprise! It’s a rare writer who lets something alone for so long but musters up the gumption to finish it off. Cheers for that alone – an ending is ALWAYS appreciated.
Onto the next point; this story was generally win. I’ve enjoyed each update, although the pace sped significantly as we approached the end – perhaps a trifle too quickly, but I’m simply grateful you kept plugging away at it, so I wouldn’t take the pacing issue as any way serious.
I was especially keen on the Mako/Ami elements of it – you made them very cute, and it was a pleasure to watch them interact.
In the technical sense your spelling and grammar are excellent; you flow is well handled and there are few egregious plot holes. As I say, just a touch fast at the end. The ENDING ending - say everything in the epilouge - was quite qin.
Thank you very much for finishing this story – thank you for posting it up in the first place, and I hope your muse returns to you shortly.
| Rukangel chapter 7 . 5/27/2010
YOUR BACK! ... WOW this was a mouth full to find that that its the guys baby and mercurys as well but all the same how it all actually happened and i cant wait for the next chap so KEEP IT UP!
| Princess Lucky Fire chapter 7 . 5/27/2010
I loved the update. I hope you can update again soon. The story's really good.
| Jen chapter 6 . 5/9/2010
OMG! You have to update this! This is really good! It's 1:37am here right now. I've stayed up this late to finish reading your story. I hope you update soon.:)
| neveraworsename chapter 6 . 5/4/2010
I love you, you magnificent bastard! A very interesting story with believable characterization and a cool arc thrown into it. The only thing that I have to say is that you should relax your speech a little when it comes to the dialogue and use fewer words to make it believable.
Regardless of whether or not they're from another dimension, sometimes they can get a little long winded. Not to say let them all ramble on about the same things, just try to not focus on one character so much at a time. Other than that, very nice and good work.
| Anonyfag chapter 3 . 4/14/2010
Addressing the read around the midpoint. Should be fixed.
General lack of detail at various places. Makoto somehow warps from a picnic to Ami's house. Walking is fine as a transition but you need something to transition from, as well as to.
Generally good work, though. Entirely readable, which is more than I can usually say.
| Omni-Obiter chapter 6 . 4/9/2010
You've really come up with a decent continuation of the series here. The whole "Ethereal Pearl" gig would totally fit into Sailor Moon, with the pattern of themed villains and extracting things from people who then transform into Youma. Bravo!
I'm aching to know what the deal with Mercadian is, how exactly he was conceived, how he's remained in limbo for a couple of millennia.
Looking forward to an update very much. Thanks for sharing Author!