Reviews for Smells Like Smoke and Death
Vshard chapter 4 . 10/28/2009
So, I took a dig into your stuff here on R.I.C.A.R.D.'s recommendation. Really really good stuff. I hit no stumbling points, no mismatching info or tenses... it was just a very compelling story. If a story could live and breathe, I'd say this one was panting and gasping right next to me. Beautiful ending that adds so much to that woman. I don't know what else to say - good stuff. :)
AblatedCrayon chapter 4 . 10/23/2009
Aha! That was quite the twist to the ending! As I wrote the first chapter to one of my stories, I felt kinda bad for Nirali Bhatia. She is only given a few details for her character in the game, yet she seemed very real to Ashley, and that made her real to me. Having her as this marine makes it very, very interesting! Great idea.

I should learn to expect twists at the end of your stories lol, but you really surprised me again this time.

AblatedCrayon
rutger5000 chapter 4 . 10/22/2009
That truly was a great ending. To be honest, I started reading it, because I owned it to you. Not because I really wanted, but I it was way above my expectations I had for this story. It makes a terific end to this story. One of the best open-endings I've ever read.
rutger5000 chapter 3 . 10/22/2009
I can't believe I forgot to review last chapter. Your work is good as always, but I must say it doesn't pulls me half as much in the story as your other work. There is too much action and not engough reflection. I understand there can't be any conversation, but still. It feels more like an combination of events then a story.
R-I-C-A-R-D chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
I love it when an author is able to pull off the surprise twist right at the end.

Here's me thinking this about some random, faceless soldier and it turns out to be poor Samesh Bhatia's wife. Who, technically, is still a faceless soldier. But I feel like I know her, now.
Knightfall1138 chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
A well-written beginning to what promises to be a nice horror romp.

Your writing and your ability to allow us a window through your character's eyes has improved by a great margin here. It reads like the first-person moments of Stover's Caine books; reaction, emotion, and (most importantly) aggravation all seep into the narrative, making it more realistic.

I'm still contemplating the advantage of the present tense you've got going here. It definitely seems to work, but it just forces me to wonder why other writers don't do something similar. More research is needed: to the Laboratory!
rutger5000 chapter 1 . 10/10/2009
Glad to see you uploading again.

Great way to start a story. I always like the idea of a zombie fiction, but often it doesn't work out well. Of course you have a relativly easy base to build on. Just like the Borg in start trek technology can make zombies a lot more serious. So the story doesn't has such a "Come on, this is just ridiculous." factor.

Eagerly awaiting more work from you.

Rutger50.
R-I-C-A-R-D chapter 1 . 10/7/2009
Very very cool. The first person present tense gives the whole thing a creepifying 'you are there' feel to the proceedings.

Husks as zombies. Now that I think about it, I wonder why nobody's done this sort of thing before now.

Reading this, I was put in mind of the Doom novels. Only this is way cooler. Shotguns and zombies: could there be a better match?