|Reviews for 4:15 am|
| kgarrison3 chapter 1 . 8/3
Amazing story - thank you!
| meelee729697 chapter 1 . 12/5/2013
Wow, that was great !
U write an amazing Charlie. I mean, right on.
This was haunting & easy to get lost in.
The way he describes / thinks of Sue is just so beautiful.
I loved all of his mindful reflections. - Loved the way he thinks of his little girl. - U made me love Charlie even more.
Oh... Paranormal Scooby Gang... lololololol.
- Superb story!
| cool-gal95 chapter 1 . 1/20/2011
So, was the boy a hybrid or something? This DID Happen six yrs later. Other than that I can find no rational expression from the Twilight universe
| Sook03 chapter 1 . 6/9/2010
Bella's immortality forced Charlie to focus more on his mortality.
| LunaBlakeazul chapter 1 . 5/9/2010
ok me encanto esta historia espero que la sigas y pronto subas el siguiente capitulo, lo espero con ansias, pobre Charlie, es el mejor papa del mundo¡
| Gina.N.B chapter 1 . 2/25/2010
Okay, got a can of Dr Pepper and crème egg and I am ready to go!
Remember now, its always better late than never, this is my policy.
Cos the most badass of people are awake at this time.
I think you’ve pretty quickly got Charlie’s narrative voice spot on here. It’s insightful without being too deep and reflective. It has this rolling feel to it, almost sleepy its so simple and matter of fact. Just like Charlie.
“But the night Bella showed up at my door and told me they were leaving…” this is Charlie! We never get to see enough, never get to fully go THERE. He doesn’t let us. I think this is what created difficulties with him and Bella and ultimately what drove Renee away. Nice that you’ve got him so down in this.
Nice that Charlie has the same sensitivity to the smell of blood that Bella did. Except he’s not such a prissy fucking drama queen about it …pfft.
I’M CALLING CHARLIE CHUCK FROM NOW ON. END OF DISCUSSION!
I can literally feel the chill in my bones from this scene here, the snow, the moon, the deep horror of what lies and charlie’s … I mean chuck’s feet, and then the lack of blood, perhaps a nudge on the crazy little suspicion he hasn’t been able to keep hidden since Bella started hanging with those weird cullen kids?
That was totally one of the most gut wrenching parts of the movie for me. Charlies helplessness as his daughter was torn apart. Fucking cut deep that did.
SETH! Gah, missed this fucking kid.
“A couple of grooves in a rock shoved in the dirt in a place where people never really liked to visit.” While the Cullens take their little demon to see the Eiffel tower. Yeah, cos that’s fair.
“I shook my head. "I'll fix you… I… I'll protect you…"She shook her head at my words.” JUST FUCKING RIP MY HEART OUT AND SPIT ON IT WHY DON’T YOU!
Apologies …I just get very emotional when it comes to my Chuck. :P
Okay so now we have slasher zombies rising from the dead and killing kindergartners?
This is legit like a horror movie. And I never was one for squirming and being all “don’t go in there, don’t go in there.” Fuck! Go down there, I wanna see this shit!
Scooby gang …ha!
Gorey and intense and wonderful. So dark! I fucking loved it.
Its kinda easy to resent Bella for this, for leaving Charlie here to wonder what’s happened to her. Yes, she may be doing it in his best interest but the fact that she may be a monster has tortured him a bit. But now he understands, we’re all monsters really. All have the potential to be. And, as demonstrated by our beloved Cullens, we each have the chance to reject that monster in us …if we wish.
Now, your little vampire mutant.
Three days old, perhaps more, still burning?
So … they buried him?
Possibly a vampire that was born after death. But then he would have no heartbeat to circulate the venom.
Something to do with those he’s killed, or the power of his master perhaps.
I dunno, those are my theories.
But an interesting creature nonetheless.
Wonderful as usual cappy.
Gotta love Chuck.
| KatetheGreat13 chapter 1 . 2/16/2010
tsk tsk tsk...you had me thinkning something was happening to poor Seth
| EverlastingMuse chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
cool story. i liked it. it was interesting..
| emmettismymonkeyman chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
I would love see more of the story. I thought she would've been in the story, Bella that is, but i guess not. :(
| ShouldHaveStuckToReading chapter 1 . 11/14/2009
This was really well done! You did a great job of getting inside Charlie's head. Good luck!
| detroitangel chapter 1 . 11/7/2009
Nice flow and crescendo of intensity. I truly moved quickly through this as it was a whirlwind of emotions for Charlie. Good luck in the contest.
| TwilightJemS chapter 1 . 10/18/2009
Really great story! The only thing I can think of is that the boy was a vampire hybrid?
| celeste.g.r chapter 1 . 10/14/2009
Hi there love!
I know, I know. It took me long enough, but work is a bitch, what can I say?
Now lets get to work.
So we’ve got Charlie this time. Good. I really think people do not give him enough credit. This should be interesting.
“Michael was a good kid, but he really should have stayed in the family business and took over the shop from his mom” Mike is in the police! HA, that is … interesting… and inconvenient or it will be when they start investigating, I think. I actually I’m sorry for the guy he has no idea what he has gotten himself into, and I don’t see Mike like the tough guy to be honest, all I can see is the guy puking his stomach off.
“Newton was usually the first to puke at a scene” there you go. Poor thing. “Go home, Mike.” That could be the best thing, yeap.
“Edward Cullen changed all that.” You know, sometimes I wonder exactly how much does Charlie resent Edward. And I don’t pretend to be mean here ok? Is just that If I were a parent and my child were pull out of the possibility of a normal and possibly happy live to go into a live of uncertainty like Bella was… well, I don’t think I could avoid to feel resentment.
I also think is normal that this is coming back to Charlie. I mean, It had to a some point. Bella is her baby girl and he knows that she is no longer human. That fact has way to many implications, more so when you do not know the details of the story.
“She worried about the strain on my heart” Normal. One do not realize how much those thing can affect oneself till they come back biting you in the ass.
“Most wives would say that expecting something of their husband” Well Su does have two shape sifters for children so if there is someone capable of helping Charlie and been there for him that is definitely Su Clearwater.
“The minute Bella met Edward... I was helpless to change any of that.” See? that is what I mean when I say people usually underestimate Charlie. Can you imaging the frustration and the helplessness that Charlie had to feel during all that time? Given the circumstances the guy went easy on Edward. And that precisely is prove of how selfless and loving of his family Charlie is. Because I’m sure that when Edward came back there were many times that chief swan would have let himself lost it and just take a shot directly to Edward face (we know that wouldn’t help much, but he didn’t) But he didn’t do it out of love for his daughter, disregarding all the pain and doubts he had inside himself. In fact there are times in which I would like to slap Bella in the back of the neck because her disregard towards Charlie. Bella and Edward’s relationship is shellfish, because of the disregard towards all the rest of the people feelings. At least I think Edward is conscience about it, Bella is to wrap in her own feelings and maybe the Cullen’s but she can’t definitely not see pass that. Personal opinion, of course.
“He raised his brows in hopeful expectation” Did I ever tell you that I do love Seth so much. He’s my baby boy, is like a little brother or something, he’s like a gigantic teddy bear. :-P
“No. Bella had nothing to do with it. Bella just told Seth to keep me shielded from whatever it was those boys were involved in” By the way, know I want to slap Bella for not calling Charlie herself.
We have Charlie sitting down under a tree, thinking about Bella.
Your recollection of her first night back and the how we obviously change from remembering to a nightmare is brilliant. And very beautiful.
But for Charlie to dream about Bella with red eyes and growling ready to attach him, makes me wonder when has Charlie ever seen or known about creatures with red eyes. How much does Charlie really knows?
“Because he was buried three days ago in his hometown—Chicago ”Who the hell is this guy? Ok, let me rephrase that, What the hell is this guy? Yeah, that is more aureate.
“A constant chill was running down my back” HA! That should be an understatement love.
“the paranormal Scooby Gang” OH MY GOD, that is brilliant.! I think I like it even more than calling Jake Lassie! We’ve got us a nickname for the boys that aint going away, he, he, he.
“looked at the blood running down the side of his cheek from a deep gash in his forehead. The door had cut him when I blocked him from closing it.” Really, what is this guy? He can’t be half and half because of the timing, It looks like he transformed into something, I mean, he’s not as strong as a vampire (not for a long shot) and he got hurt because of the door? And Charlie is able to get him down by himself? But he did dismember the body without tools, so he’s not human... What the hell is he?
So there was a vampire and the boy… And the vampire was watching…”“Three days… how in the hell could he still be human…,” OK, was the boy at the end of the transformation, but how on earth could he move?... ARJ! I don’t get it!
“the Cullen house in flames” Auch! That house means a lot, but I get it.
“The facts behind this are for me to know… and you to give me your theories on.” I gave you a few already! Could give me a clue, Please, please?
It is finish and it was grate. You’ve done a fantastic job. The story is confusing because it is done under Charlie’s POV. And Charlie is very confused and he doesn’t know, seriously, fantastic job.
I’ll read you soon
| nitsuAPJ chapter 1 . 10/11/2009
Dayumm girl ~ That was some good show you've got goin' there! *a little southern twang for ya! lol*
| EclipsedbyJacob chapter 1 . 10/8/2009
I really liked this. Do you plan on more chapters? I feel like you have a good thing going here.