|Reviews for After the Mat|
| Taechunsa chapter 4 . 9/23/2011
Wow! So, Warmonga is planning on kidnapping both Shego's child and Hanna. For a genius she is an idiot. Does she actually think that she will have any time to raise either? Nope, sorry she just walked into a minefield and she doesn't even realize just how big it is. I am actually looking forward to her demise. I just hope it is slow.
It is almost impossible to correlate this psychopath with the slightly crazy, but kind DNAmy.
Excellent work. I have seldom hated a villain as much as I am growing to hate Warmonga.
| Fayari chapter 6 . 4/19/2011
Well, this was... not really all the well-expounded upon, to be honest. There was no follow-up, and no clear goal, with the only truly interesting part (the research on mass-transference) of the story. There was no real drama for readers to feed upon (though that, I would argue, is a blessing). There were no details, not even in layman's terms, on how Warmonga got a new body (the science involved). There wasn't really any worthwhile plot that drew me in (Camille Leon getting kidnapped just did not do it for me.)
It felt... rushed and half-assed, I guess. I get that this story was only an intermission/prelude for the final sequel, but I wish it managed to captivate me long enough to at least get through it in one sitting. With your first and second stories, I went through over forty chapters a sitting, since your storylines and plot twists were just that good. This one is only six chapters long, but I had to stop and start because I kept getting the urge to check out more interesting stories.
The joy I feel when reading your stories stems from trying to discover and predict the plot twists, wordplay and Easter eggs you left without reading ahead. I didn't get that here, because there really weren't a whole lot of plot twists, wordplay, and Easter eggs to discover and predict.
I'm sorry for the negative review. I'm still looking forward to the last installment, which will, undoubtedly be better than this one.
| Itachi's apprentice chapter 6 . 4/21/2010
| Itachi's apprentice chapter 3 . 4/21/2010
| Itachi's apprentice chapter 1 . 4/21/2010
| Reader101w chapter 6 . 11/12/2009
Great story, although it's hard to call the stories of the arc separate with the very good flow between them.
It sure is a cliffy, so many unanswered questions, so much that can still happen. I hope to read more on this.
keep up the good writing,
| spectre666 chapter 6 . 11/10/2009
ok, that was cruel. That cliffie is pure lethality. :)
If I didn't know so many shrinks (they usually have worse problems than their patients) I might recommend you see one. Anyone who can dream up the idea of Mr. Hatchett as duenna (shudder) definitely has something that needs something.
Thanks again, and looking forward to your next,
| YACOV chapter 6 . 10/28/2009
Aw... story's already finished? It was such a good read. Then again so are all your stories.
Well I understand the imposition of real life. I haven't been able to complete a story of my own in over a year with all of the imposing it does to me.
I like how you can take a cartoon show, with all its quirks and ridiculous qualities that make it a cartoon, and render them into a composite work that I can imagine happening to real(er) people. You have a real gift for turning a work of fiction into a coherent and believable story and I admire that.
However there is one critique I feel I should make. The majority of the characters, while pleasingly multidimensional, seem prone to extensive 'vocal' analysis and evaluation. In and of itself it's a terrific ability they have, and it lends itself to the sophistication of the stories, but at times I feel like you overdue the 'vocal' examination and reasoning. (Ex: Ron explaining how Senor Senior Sr. found the legal loophole to the Possibles while in front of the house itself).
I think the story would work just as well, deliver the same message, and maintain smooth dialogue between the characters if you could find ways to put a couple of the explanations into your narrative portions instead of the dialogues. That way you keep all the characters thinking and acting intelligently without making the real-world dialogue quite so formal.
Nonetheless, it was great story, and I hope you find the time, inspiration, and assistance of Joe Stoppinghem, needed to continue composing these great reads.
| jkrust78 chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
Ok...what have you done with Daccu? I mean this is the same guy that writes 63 chapter epics, and then comes back with six chapters only? Are you sure you're feeling okay? I guess I'll have to do with this very good but very short story(does Kim's PDP) Looking forward to the fifth installment then!
Oh yes, I will say once again...
Camille Leon rotflmao!
| screaming phoenix chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
Now that was a classic O'Henry moment with Dementor and Carmelle. I imagine that Kim and Ron had to be as surprised as the kidnappers were at what transpired.
Now .P. that was just mean! You would deprive Kim and Ron of some quality snuggle time like that! Inspired solution by Senior Senior Senior and a even more devious solution by Kim dad to prevent any hanky panky! Miss Hatchet; that was just evil, funny, but evil!
| JCS1966 chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
looks like Dementor realized gaining a new lower source wasn't worth being around a whiny, shapeshifting celebutant for another second. Shades of O. Henry, indeed.
So glad the lovers got a home from Senior, but Kim's dad hiring HER as a chaperone? Sheesh, as if they weren't frustrated enough! James better not be around too much during Thanksgiving and Christmas; Kim may be tempted to give him more than dirty looks.
And now there's wolf in the fold at Middleton. Something still tells me she may not escape suspicion completely.
Thanks for the great read. I'm looking forward to the next story. (When you get the chance, and hopefully it'll be a real epic.)
See you soon!
| Sentinel103 chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
Hatchett, HATCHETT? Oh NO... Well wait till you see how I use her in 'The Runion: Kimmie's Choice'. I can guarantee that will be even more sick and wrong Daccu.
So Amy/Miss Go is now the biology treacher at MH...So that's why you did include that...Well you was doing something else with her at the time anyway...
Poor Prof Dementor...he's learned his lesson...You know I could hear 'Valley Girl' everytime Camille opened her mouth.
Good job and well done.
Larry (Sentinel 103)
| waveform chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
You know, that has to be probably the most believable way the Camille kidnapping could have ended. I doubt I would have lasted half as long as Dementor did. After putting up with her for a few days, prison will be almost like a vacation!
A nice way of handling the housing and team situations for Kim and Ron, although the chaperone almost seems like cruel and unusual punishment. It's going to be a long first semester.
Enter Miss Go. Why is she in Middleton now that Kim is gone? Hopefully you'll be addressing this in the next story.
Nicely done, Daccu!
| Eddy13 chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
Nice story, Dac. I got to say, what James did to Kim and Ron was pretty cruel. Having your story end on a cliffy note was pretty interesting, however I must protest the fact that this story and your previous tale were too short. Nothing personal, but I do hope you make your fifth story as long as you had made your second.
| Midgarosormr chapter 6 . 10/26/2009
Poor Kim and Ron, that horrid librarian is going to be their chaperone! Well, on the plus side, it means that outside of the house they'll be away from...prying eyes. :)
Dementor freaking like that was bloody brilliant. XD
Way to go!