|Reviews for 3 One Random Sukima|
| sairentio chapter 33 . 6/27/2013
First off, I recently started reading your whole sukima series, sorry for writing my first comment only now, but I'm honestly not very good at writing comments/reviews/whatever, I'll promise to keep it more frequent.
Second, heard your muse left you, but hey, everyone needs a break in a while, right? Hope it comes back soon to you, as I'm really enjoying this series and I'm of course eagerly awaiting the UG sequel, haha.
Now to the actual commenting:
You told your OC's are a bit "stu-ish", honestly I don't even know what that means xD, but I started to like them and since "Life of the Tengu" I find the idea of OC's quite good. Even if Ail seemed quite overpowered in the first sukima, but you balanced that quite well by now.
You also told me that the first sukimas have even more typos than UG, but I don't think so, maybe I just didn't notice them though.
Anyway, your random humor is just my type of humor, I mean, washtubs falling from the sky, seriously?! Just awesome. Also, I think you're pretty good at writing battle scenes, like Aya and Reimu vs. S-Momiji or Ail's fight against Kanako, of course. Keep that up!
Some flaws here 'n there are of course also in the stories, but the good sides definitely make up for it.
There are probably some other things I wanted to add, but I'm not able put those into words or something like that, I'll add them as I continue reading (and getting better at commenting).
And so, I wish you a nice weekend or hope that you're having a nice weekend at the moment or whatever timezone you're living in.
| Kaiser dude chapter 33 . 9/2/2011
Just finished this story in the Sukima series of yours. I would say the story took a workable idea like shadows of each character, and made said shadows act like typical evil (for the most part) doppelgänger of their original. If this was a crossover fic with Persona series and made the "shadows" act similar to the ones from Persona 4, then I would have gotten hooked more easily, but the story itself for this fic was just as enjoyable.
Pros: where to begin... The fic started out shaky, but you managed to fix the shaky start with some interesting twists to SOME of the shadows, leaving those exceptions memorable. Storytelling was still strong and hasn't dwindled from first Sukima fic, but has evolved and improved. If some fanon ideas were thrown in, then I'd say the fic would've been even netter, yet it was still a great read.
Cons: limited or lack of fanon ideas so far has me slightly disappointed, but I can't hold that against you since the story was already done, and I'm still trying to get caught up. You mentioned some characters had little spotlight, so I won't take off points for acknowledging that.
Overall: I'm going to get started with the fourth entry tomorrow, and continue reading the series.
Suggestions for future stories (until I get caught up with the Sukima series): try throwing in fanon ideas like Tenshi's masochism or Cirno nineball jokes. This shows awareness of the fanbase and can sometimes appeal to some of the readers' interests. Keep an open mind and throw in unexpected twists (though in moderation).
Phew, I managed to get another detailed review using iPhone again.
| Kaiser dude chapter 18 . 8/31/2011
I don't know if you have fixed this issue in your later stories, buy I admit that transitions between places are hard to keep track of without LINEBREAKS! First three stories need minor editing to include those line breaks. That's the biggest issue I have with your series so far; mind you I am not trolling or flaming, but pointing out something that needs to be done to help the readers keep better track of the story. I had trouble wondering if, for example, Sanae and Ail were in Makai with Alice and Marisa hunting the same shadow. Adding a line break between battlezones and events let's the readers know that the scene has changed.
Now for something I was thinking of as I was reading this fic: a crossover fic featuring Persona series Shadows of characters instead of the destructive (and few peaceful) shadows killing their original.
This idea follows the same premise of this fic, but the shadows appear only to want to release their original's deepest darkest secrets and make said original face reality of their hidden, rejected, and suppressed thoughts (as per the case in Persona 4). It isn't much, but I'm hoping this catches your interest as a spin-off re-imaging of the fic.
Pros of the series so far: some OCs are balanced to believable levels, great level of storytelling compared to most other fics out there.
Cons of the series so far: re-edit the first three stories to include line breaks between scenes and locations.
Overall: I'm enjoying this fic quite well, and I'm ashamed at myself for not finding this "series" a year or two ago.
(p.s. This review was done by IPhone due to internet failure from hurricane Irene's aftermath. Don't worry, I wasn't affected much by it, save for the lack of home Internet)
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 28 . 11/17/2010
Holy fucking shit, looks like what would happen if you seriously pissed Henix off, only he'd use a fuckload more power. O_O
I'm immediately reading the next chapter. I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 21 . 11/16/2010
Shadow Willie? Hah! I think that's funny. The chances of THAT lasting very long is about 10 to 1. Especially if a certain immortal finds him. You probably know who I'm talking about.
And also, since when were you able to hack a game without the necessary tools? I mean, seriously.
Ah well. Not like it matter. I don't think anyone cares about that anyway.
Heh, anyway, I don't think I'm going to need to review anymore to tell you how awesome this story is. You should already know by this point.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 20 . 11/15/2010
"we'll have our building back, yet again, by our next interview"
Is that so? *gets hit by an orb of darkness*
Hilarity at its best. And I had to do my best not to laugh my butt off when Agava got depants'd. If anyone ever asks where they can find awesome Touhou stories, I'm sending them to you. You are officially my top favorite author on FanFiction, no joke.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 18 . 11/15/2010
Yukari, you'd better stay out of that...
Anyway, this and the previous chapters since my last review are all quite hilarious. And I think it's hilarious that both Ail AND Reimu got turned into dogs, being the second time for the former. XD
Do either of them ever hear the end of that? I know Henix wouldn't let them, especially Reimu. :P
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 13 . 11/12/2010
Lawl. Two crazy witches trying to find a crazy hell crow. This'll be interesting.
And maybe I should stop reviewing so much. There's a 75% chance half the reviews for this story are from me. .
And again with the interviews. Seriously, are you crazy?
And, as expected, more flavorful chaos. That's what makes this story and it's prequels/sequels so awesome.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 12 . 11/12/2010
You. Are. Fucking. Crazy. Even I'M sane enough not to try interviewing that one Random Sukima, pun intended. Last thing we need is another Henix running around with powers over darkness instead of fire and light. And considering he'd also be immortal, Gensokyo would be a total wasteland before that idiot was dead, because that battle would be going on for a LONG~ time. Well, until Reimu dies. Then that shadow Henix would be completely vaporized, along with half of Gensokyo. But I'm getting off topic now.
Quite hilarious, especially the team names. Silly team names are mandatory here. XD
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 11 . 11/12/2010
"anyone speaking ill of her master near her finds him/herself at Eirin's Clinic"
Something tells me because of that a battle between Henix and Rika would be very crazy. But in the end, it'd probably be Rika at Eirin's clinic, either that or both. I mean, it's rather powerful shrine maid versus incredibly powerful immortal. I highly doubt Henix would be in Eirin's clinic alone. XD
Anyway, enough of my rambling. Awesome chapter, as per usual. And now that I read this, I understand why I haven't seen Rika anywhere else, with the exception of Rika Asakura, but that's a completely different person.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 9 . 11/12/2010
Any reason why you decided to name the monster after the story?
And I just noticed a really bad pun with the story's name and the monster, but then again, that might have been intentionally left. XD (It's One Random Sukima. No seriously, it is. A single Random Sukima.)
And I think this chapter was quite hilarious with how Rika and Remilia tried persuading Reimu to do the oath ceremony.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 8 . 11/11/2010
Someone must've been either a REAL big idiot, or just incredibly bored when they chose the replacements. Flandre is definitely a bad choice fro all cases, and Rumia would be better as the ferryman. So Rumia and Agava weren't actually a bad choice, except for their position. And maybe Agava would make a better replacement for Shiki. XD
Chaotic and hilarious chapters are always best. REMEMBER THAT!
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 5 . 11/11/2010
I'm doing my best not to make an NCIS reference where Agave hits Rumia on the back of the head. Some people may get that immediately.
And I was wondering when Rika came in. .
Awesomesauce, as usual. I expect next chapter to involve one helluva battle.
| The Hexagonal Donut chapter 2 . 11/10/2010
There's a teeny little bit of terminology missing, and now I know where it came from; use Captain Mother Fucking Murasa. She deserves the title. :3
Anyway, interesting Chapter 1, as usual.
| Soike chapter 33 . 2/27/2010
A very good read! The ending was quite nice. Now that Ail appears in Gensokyo, I wonder how Marisa's "project" wil fare?
I gave Paradise Sukima a read. It's quite good so far.
...By the way, is the washtub joke REALLY sprouting from Koakuma? Because it's been happening throughout everything...
Also, why did you number your fics? I think they're fine by themselves...