Reviews for Mi Bella, Mi Pie de imprenta
DawnScarlet19610 chapter 1 . 1/29
I deeply dislike your switch to Sam's POV the way you did. Start a new POV off from the moment the previous one ends. Don't recap entire scenes from a new point of view. You got the imprint all wrong. It happens when the eyes meet for the first time, and is instant and powerful. I don't understand why you decided to make Leah into a nasty b*tch. She was bitter in the books because Sam broke her heart and got together with Emily, her cousin, with no real explanation. She wasn't like that before, and even if you wanted to make her b*tchy, you didn't do a good job of it if Sam is cringing at his chosen girlfriend's tone and her mother grounds her in a humiliating way at the dinner table in front of everyone. Leah actually had a lot of depth and pain in the books, and you made her into a shallow, vapid and mean character. She also loved Seth a lot in the books, and you make it seem like she doesn't care about him in this story. I would have been able to tolerate your Leah bashing, maybe, if you hadn't completely messed up the imprinting. I also really don't understand why Charlie would ask Jared and Sam to help with Bella's bags instead of Jacob and Seth, who she actually knows. Lastly, Embry Sr. doesn't exist. Embry is a bastard and his father is unknown, either being Billy, Quil Sr. or Joshua Uley's son, most likely Joshua's. So you really need to work on your details cuz it severely weakens your story. And go back to read the moment Jacob looked into Renesmee's eyes for the first time so you can better understand how the imprint occurs.
Debbie Hicks chapter 12 . 2/18/2019
13. Chapter Chapter 13. t Bella'pov'
suddenly LEMATYAS Beaten with her with him with wholliest bitten them were With oythers toddlers/Kids Three and all of Aliends/Vulcans drained blood under the full moon then the guard found me slipping killing people you are a Criminal are put to death all of you then Executed wit myself see kills beings then Murdered by execution beaten to death brutalizing executed tore by Lematyas without hair or memories then Assaulted by abusing from here were Dying then nuked from frozen bodies get her chained we Volturi guard sentenced you all to exile then Executed from here Ripped from me was all of took from me the Seer found my corpse with theirs With Sixth With us/they Extinct blew Eyes were shut gored from here then too late Pierced by fleeing then brought here then more guards stolen myself was Bitten with them blew apart torn three without life Piercd freely from here brought them good they been daggered then then too late killed then no longer us/they the Venom was spreading into us/they then smashed freely with them Sliced brought there good never were humans too late Motionless but senseless corpses taken from here good deceased from here are bitten from as all snakes drained of blood then too late as all of Carnivorous Selves were born as very farest mazillions or more as all feasted burst freely then too late Bitten freely was already scratched too hardest then had scars Alice I Fear she had healed but her eyesight is powerful What you Do to me! crap my throat it's BURNS! then myself was really stronger hissing by growling was really upset was Paler Then too late found guilty of them then Purplish ashes then punished us/they were forbidden blew apart Sliced freely brought there good they are Dead then too late Murdered then too late Killed were as all of them good were fed from here Dried up of as all blood used them good then wax them now too late my healing and recovery then relearning then Smashed freely brought there Declared us/they guilty sentenced to be eaten lost from here then were wiped out extinct from here Alice she was killed by them oh my god her hair grew longer with bangs Alice she is undead but immortal age me Sixty-five spit What?! with killed pets/young are immortal had young kids are not humans at all.
Debbie Hicks chapter 12 . 2/18/2019
13. Chapter 13. Bella pov
then BITTEN Best friends sswWALLOWED BLOOD Wityh both with three with three with IUmprintees then too late oover drained then too late KKids/Toddlers and CLARE yYOUNG BITTEN By draining to Alienss to Jake my loyal friend then too late gone wild then to Aliens/Vulcans bitten drained mixed up blood the hguard foun\d us huntingh people there who turnefd yoiu then Felix we sentence you all to death wioth you guilty then MAULED By LLematyas real ones then too late tore from hererr Venom brutallized Beaten to death then good more than as all then Blood without hair or memories chained then Executed wwith twio bitten then broken from as all then tore was Dying from here then the Sixth with the
anne.prossi15 chapter 12 . 2/13/2019
Update please
B4bidden chapter 12 . 11/27/2017
really wish there was more to read
12Rayne chapter 12 . 7/22/2017
Wow...that ending made me feel awkward to be honest. Only because the last twilight fanfiction I finished had a very friendly Leah who was very close to Bella to the point she would lay her life on the line to save Bella. So reading the ending made me feel awkward lol.
sabrinawoodall1 chapter 12 . 4/23/2017
Bella put Phil in jail and Bella kick Leah ass
tamwhit chapter 12 . 4/9/2017
Please update your story soon as it has been very good
Chrissiel chapter 12 . 9/21/2016
Please please please update this story I am enjoying it very very much so please try to get it updated soon thanks
Btchpleasehaha chapter 12 . 1/20/2016
PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
8goose8 chapter 12 . 12/19/2015
PPLLLEEEAAASEEE UPDATE!
Guest chapter 6 . 10/13/2015
aassssssssss
gia warner chapter 7 . 5/30/2015
keep up tha great work bronte
Pineapples1 chapter 12 . 10/29/2014
Leah is a puny mortal whatever she has planned will never work.
MyDarkAnnabelleLee chapter 12 . 7/16/2014
Update very soon please!
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