|Reviews for Two Modes of Play|
| The Guilty Bystander chapter 10 . 4/2/2013
This would have been interesting, had it been finished of course, but do not mistake that statement for something its not; I understand the obstacles posed by both writers block and a lock of motivation. Or perhaps you merely forgot... ah well, its been three years since your last update, but I liked the premise and the chapters that were posted. Minus a few spelling and grammar errors, its rather well put together. For what its worth, you did a good job.
Sincerely and with my Deepest Respects,
-The Guilty Bystander
| x4th chapter 8 . 7/2/2010
I suprise myself at how long I can manage to keep myself away from this jewel of a story. I also suprise myself by my quick and silent adoption of this story into my own personal canon. As I wrote before, this story flows like whimsical poetry. Not only that, but your ability to reproduce the characters so adeptly brings me to you whenever I think I need either Elk or Mia.
Speaking of Mia, every time I read her words, I find Myself wondering if she is PC or NPC, NI or AI. To have the same questions, despite knowing the answer, I am in true emersion.
I have a tendacy, when I draw, to not go back, to lose myself in the creation. What I'm doing is insuring my creativity can flow, but every time, I remind myself to return and erase all the stray marks- that's all. When it come's to writing, I've never perfected that art and end up revising and rewriting upteen times before I grow sick of my own work. I suspect that you may have the same problem. I may be wrong, but I suspect that you may fear seeing your work after it's done, that you fear that it may be flawed. The result is a great story, undamaged by nerves, but dirty with typos. That is your main, if not only, flaw. My suggestion is to absolutely refuse to change Anything save for typos. If it's too hard, maybe give yourself a while to cool off before checking it once and sending it on.
I look foreward to the next chapters.
| Elk stalker chapter 2 . 4/26/2010
I would totally freaking kidnap you and make you write for eternity
| Fanfic mediator chapter 1 . 4/26/2010
I love how this is written good story btw
| Grim Grey chapter 5 . 4/14/2010
Man, its been a while. I almost forgot about this story. Anyways, I like how its going. It seems Mia was a little surprise about Elk wanting to give his flash mail. And I see that you're giving his mother a big part in the story.
Overall, good chapter.
| phalarisbull chapter 3 . 3/12/2010
I like this story alot. There don't seem to be many good and/or long Elk/Mia fics, and your story looks like it could grow to fill the second categorization nicely. Its already got the first nailed. I am a bit curious about how you’re going to explain the awkwardness elk tends to show around other players. But your writing captures that blend of innocence and awkwardness I find absolutely charming.
| Grim Grey chapter 4 . 3/6/2010
...Eh? A new chapter? Man, got me stuck on work so hard I didn't get a chance to read it untill now. My appogies for a late review. Lol.
anyways this is getting good. So elk is still stuck and I guess Mia is interested in his pain...Thats halarious as I think about it. But on the serious note, The chapter was kinda short (well for my taste.) And there is a few typos. But overall its perfect. I suggest having a grammer freak as a friend. That person might help.
Oh and keep up the good work! You're one of my source of entertainment on this website. So no pressure.
| Kraya chapter 4 . 3/4/2010
I've been following this since a few days after you initially posted this, and I have to say, that even though it got a slow start, I wasn't bored for any of it.
It's very well-written, and an in-between portrayal of both Elk and his mother. That is to say, it's more in the middle of the usual interpretation. (Elk being overly timid in real life as well or being slitty-slitty-emo, and his parents either being extremely doting or extremely abusive.) It's a take I haven't seen before, and I really like it. I can definitely see this as being how things started.
The only problem I can find is that you have a very high typo count. You may want to find a beta reader or go over it yourself a few more times before posting it. I usually don't have a high tolerance for typos in published work, but that's exactly the quality of this so far for me to not mind it as much. With that being the only flaw I see, this could definitely go far.
:) Please do keep up the very good work.
| Grim Grey chapter 3 . 2/6/2010
Great chapter, I believe it fit the way of how Elk might have met Mia. (very funny).
Anyways, You do know that your story is on here twice... Oh well. Keep up the good work.
| x4th chapter 1 . 1/17/2010
"Offline, Elk's player is Kaoru Ichinose, a thirteen-year-old middle school student who joined The World to make friends and attempt to change his shy and passive personality."
does this help?
| JWM chapter 2 . 1/13/2010
Nicely written. A bit sad considering how this ends, but much better than 6/8 of what's written for .Hack.
| x4th chapter 2 . 1/9/2010
I love it
Your writing would be better found in poetry. The rhythm is wonderfull, yet whimsical. You display the relationship between the mother and son is obvious yet not obsene. I knew yet didn't know this was Elk untill the last. The poeticness reminds me of how Endrance spoke; did you intend it? And it's so addictive...I can't stop!
I'm seriously looking forward to chapter 3
| Guest chapter 2 . 12/27/2009
Ok, so this is before elk was...elk and before he met mia. I like how you show his relationship with his mother. I'm kinda of anxious about elk meeting mia.
| Grim Grey chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
Good so far. Not much to any gammer issuse to be concerned about. And its very interesting. I alway wanted to read a elk and mia story. I realy looking forward to where you would take this.