|Reviews for Untitled So Far|
| Guest chapter 6 . 8/28/2012
like how you do it, but you need to finish it. you could have willow and tara use their magic to help dante fight lilith, have dante beat vergil seperately and have spike find and rescue buffy. he could follow her scent to find her. after burying his face in her sweater and i shudder to think what else, he should know her scent well by now. willow is probably the key to beating lilith, but she can't do it without dante.
| Myra the Dovahkiin chapter 2 . 5/5/2011
Sparda was a devil.
| samurainoryuu chapter 6 . 12/13/2008
not bad. i wish u would have continued the story. lilith sounds like shes from 's pretty cool.
| killercow89 chapter 6 . 8/15/2008
not bad cant w8 to find out wot happens in t nxt chapter.
| Xephon chapter 2 . 4/15/2006
Bah, Buffy's fucking slow, Dante could've kicked her ass 20 different ways in 2 seconds. P
Have a Nice Day
| silverkitcat chapter 6 . 9/6/2005
Hope you decide to update soon! Will he join them? Could Willow at her badest have taken the witch or is she even stronger?
| Hotaru Shidosha chapter 6 . 4/11/2005
Nice... can't wait for more... -
Check out my art on DeviantART (.com) under my name 'Blue-eyed-Demon'
| AzureNight13 chapter 6 . 2/10/2005
GOD DAMMIT UPDATE SOON! I DON"T WANT TO WAIT ANY LONGER TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS! Sorry, I just really like this story. You should read my DMC/Angel crossover. Its good I promise
| asdfeasdf chapter 6 . 12/7/2004
I guess this is the end, then. Here are my closing thoughts.
You've got a good story in here - the plot definitely has promise - but (as you pointed out before) you need more detail. It's a pain, I know, but you need to add detail into things like how locations look, inflection, facial expressions and body language, and anything and everything involving all five senses. It makes a story more immersive.
I commented before on the Buffy characters. You wrote Spike and Giles best. Xander had his moments, as did Buffy. Willow and Anya though...Perhaps I'm a perfectionist, as much as I love the series, but the characters could have used some more depth to them, acted more like their on-screen counterparts. (Part of this was probably due to the detail issues I mentioned before, as you miss out on a lot of subtle character hints without them.)
Portions of it were repetitive in that they used the same words in consecutive sentences. (Chapter 2 for a specific example - the phrase "couldn't help but" is used twice in the two sentences.) It just needs a little variety.
It does feel rushed at parts - once again, the details.
With the (hopefully) constructive criticism out of the way, I do like it. It's not nearly as bad as you make it out to be. If you're showing this much promise with such an old story, that's amazing. From what little I've read of your other works, you'd already learned from some of your mistakes even then. I know it sounds as if I'm being awfully critical - and perhaps I am - but I want to be helpful, too. Hearing "OMG U ROXXORZ" is nice every now and then (because you do!) but it's also nice to get some constructive feedback, too. I'm impressed. I love you.
This comment may appear twice - my internet screwed up. If so, I apologize.
| asdfeasdf chapter 3 . 12/7/2004
The Giles characterization in this one was spot on, just so you know. _
More suggestions coming in the last chapter. Still liking what I read.
| asdfeasdf chapter 1 . 12/7/2004
Told you I'd read them! Lots of comments, too.
You told me that this was bad, but I'm not seeing that. You've got a much better writing style than you would have led me to believe...
My only gripe with the first chapter is that Buffy doesn't seem very...well, Buffy-ish. Not a lot of Buffy speak and she seems off. This may change in the upcoming chapters, though - I'm not going to comment again until the last chapter (probably). Most people probably wouldn't have said anything about Buffy being out of character, but you know me; I'm a bit of a Buffy addict.
But I like it! You avoided using passive voice - Gods, do I hate passive voice, since I tend to slip into it - and tense is great. No grammar issues and it reads well too.
| FlutFlutLuver chapter 6 . 10/26/2004
This is an awesome story and I hope that you update it really work with the crossover so far, so keep up the good work
| Reven of Darkness chapter 6 . 7/1/2004
Update, update, update. Please.
| Meirelle chapter 6 . 2/4/2004
Well, it doesn't look like you're going to be updating anymore, but what you do have is a good story.
| Amie chapter 6 . 8/12/2003
Great story! I hope you decide to update again soon!