|Reviews for RosarioJinchuuriki|
| liobi chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
| Sr3651 chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
You're off to a great start, keep it up!
| DegenerateSage chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
i disagree with you on one thing the manga has a hole host of action but its well balanced out with the other parts that's why its so good.
| Guest chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Truth be told I really hope and pray that you get rid of that useless prick Tsukune, in the manga all he did was show Moka favoritism and he never really cared about anyone else romantically even when Mizore was to be forced to marry a guy she didn't know or love. To me as a male I find that completely and utterly disrespectful and I find that Mizore, Moka, Kurumu, Yukari and Ruby are wasting their time and effort on some useless guy who couldn't even be considerate enough to be affectionate to Mizore, Kurumu, Ruby and Yukari as he was to Moka. That proves to me already that he's nothing more than an inconsiderate little boy who knows absolutely nothing of the female heart. He's a selfish, conceited little prick who hasn't grown up mentally. Truthfully, why would an immortal like Moka waste time on a mere human who doesn't even have his own house, no money or anyway of supplying her needs and wants?
Though for all sakes and purposes I hope you don't make Naruto out to be the generic and overly used super nice guy. You have to make it so that when they look or think about him, the first thing that crosses their mind is "what makes him different amongst the hundreds and upon hundreds of other males in Yokai Academy?". Make it so that he's intelligent and willing enough to demonstrate his higher value towards them as individuals with their own personality's and traits that make them desirable as young women.
Any dumb ass with half a brain (Tsukune) can walk up to a girl and say "Hi my name is Blah Blah Blah and I do such and such" that's all fine and dandy and whatever, but if a real man cannot show real, honest to goodness social value, then women i.e Moka, Kurumu, Mizore, Yukari will not want him or give him the kind of day period. They are individuals who are looking for and are in need of an individual who can convey to their eyes that he is the indeed, for lack of better words "The Hokage" I.E Naruto.
Allow me to explain. A woman's job is to survive and replicate. To achieve those ends, she will have to align herself with someone who can assist her in that survival and replication process. The fact that the man that she wants to align herself with has already been preselected by others make even more attractive in her eyes because he has demonstrated a type of value. (And no don't even try to put Tsukune in the same category as my explanation because its an insult me, you and every real man out there who will eventually have to do the same thing when you leave your parent's house searching for a wife. He's a disgrace to the male race and should promptly erase himself. Real Talk)
So in my opinion, the fact that Naruto, if done in a believable fashion can demonstrate his value as a suitable partner, the merrier for him. Though a crucible I have noticed in most of your fics is his strange relationship to Sakura, so I'm guessing you somehow like her character and your probably going to make him go through that useless promise that he made to her before he left on his training trip with Jiraiya. So I hope you don't mind me filling you in, since as an author it is only fair to respect constructive criticism, whether it be both good and bad, depending on how you see my review.
The reason why I have always and will stay a Naruto centric is because he has ALWAYS been shafted whether people are capable to actually see or acknowledge that or not. By shafted I mean that he always make up these stupid exaggerated hyperboles about a violent, in the closet yaoi loving Sasuke fan girl. It took Sasuke with a fully charge Chidori with the intent to kill her to make her even think that Sasuke might not be a good romantic choice and STILL she goes after him.
Not lets be honest with ourselves. How can anyone put up with such an insufferable bitch? If Naruto does even the slightest thing wrong, makes the slightest mistake, or does anything at all, really. She hits the poor guy over the head. I swear to God Naruto could have been a freaking genius at the beginning of his academy years, but prolonged exposure to Sakura and her fists would have turned him into the same dumb ass moron we all know today. I.E He beat Pain, she hugs him, and then IMMEDIATELY clobbers him! Where is the justice in that! Seriously!
She is also a God damn yaoi fangirl! She hides it pretty well, but what happened when Konohamaru did his little yaoi adaption of the Oiroke no jutsu? She had a nosebleed and shouted "YOU'RE A GENIUS! Are you actually going to tell me that she's NOT a yaoi fangirl? B.S If any respectiful guy finds a Sasuke obsessed, violent, loud, idiotic,selfish, yaoi fangirl attractive, please tell me. I love funny emails.
Sure you going to tell me some sad excuse that its supposed to be that way or some other crap or whatever other reason, but when a woman walks all over you like that, and you don't do anything to change or stop it, then it shows that no matter how much Naruto has grown physically, Sage or not, he still has not grown up enough to stop thinking like that stupid little kid he was all those years ago its disappointing as an author and as a person to see this over used plot device used over and over again like a bad joke.
A woman will NEVER respect a man who will allow such a thing to happen, and that only asserts her dominance over you and until Naruto can or unless you make him stop dicking around and be the man he's suppose to be like his father or better yet, even better than his father. Then he can actually man up and be the REAL man we all hope to see in the future and not some whinny little punk whose still hung up on that stupid, fruitless promise he made to Sakura. As far as I'm concerned that Team 7 curse will never be broken until you make Naruto stand up, get rid of that goody goody crappy routine and act accordingly. History as a way of repeating itself and I wouldn't want for you fall in that trap.
Sandaime fell for it with Orochimaru and lost his life, Kakashi with his situation which ended up killing both Rin and Obito, and the latter loved Rin but never said anything because Rin was in love with Kakashi. Do you see a pattern yet or do you want me to continue? This is a curse and patter that needs to be broken. Seriously.
Truth be told I all for Naruto/Harem fics, even with this category and I have one written called Naruto:Rosario Kitsune, though I will have to revise it and correct a lot of mistakes I made in the beginning of it. Now I'll only be acceptable of it so long as it is done well, not jut "let's share him immediately" followed by every girl banging his brains out one at a time. My challenge for you, if your willing and up to the challenge is to show more ORIGINALITY with this fic unlike your generic others. Give it time, show jealousy, in fighting, backstabbing, and rivalry for while before GRADUALLY, having the various cast (Moka, Kurumu, Mizore, Yukari, Ruby, and whoever you feel is suited for our blond friend.
But truth be told it would interesting to see you actually do something different amongst your other usual fics that you have, which I have already read and despite them being quite interesting, I feel that they could become so much more. But as I said before it is simply just an opinion and nothing more, I can't force or beg you to hear me out or whatever. You have an interesting crossover there, just please, for the love of all that is holy don't royally screw it up with cliches and other gibberish. Its been done and used before, try something new and exciting for a change my friend. Though I do hope you follow some of my advice, the plausible ones anyway.
You always faithful, truthful and avid of all sensible and proper Naruto fanfictions.
| Zanji of clan okami chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
So far so good I'd like to see were you take this
| Awesome chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
I think this is a really great story for the first chapter, I love that you made Naruto deceptive, most others have Naruto tell everyone everything, but yeah this is great I hope you update soon.
| Senzetzu chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Woot you rule as always, I hope you can make a better NarutoXRosario story than Lord of the land of fire
| Acolyte of Truth chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
thank you for writing a readable rossariovampire crossover that deviates where most others fail. i usually encounter 3 problems with these. 1, they don't include tsukune for some obscene reason and naruto ends up taking his place. 2, the story starts during the second year, which i dislike scince it leaves out so many good plot points found in the manga, which i hope you are following. 3, naruto has previous knowledge of other charactors, which never made much sense to me. good luck, your fellow author.
| mr. uroboros chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
yeah a Naruto/RosarioVampire crossover are one my fav crossover, cool chapter
| FoXu chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Never was a big fan of Naruto, but that was me. Anyways thanks for such an amazing story O.o, I cannot really give any critic because from what I see it is written very well. I was completely entranced, but take that for what it is from a mediocre author.
Again no typos as far as I can see. and I can't wait for chapter 2 and will definitely read your other stories.
| Agurra of the Darkness chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Hello Denim I am Agurra of the Darkness and this is my review. This story is a bit interesting though the begining is similar to most Roasario Vampire x Naruto stories but that's okay. From what is going on I can Assume that Tsukune is going to be paired with Moka and Naruto is probably going to get everyone else since Tsukune doesn't seem to be much of a harem guy. However however you descide to pair it is fine with me. Though I am curious if the Akatsuki are ever going to show up. Which makes me think I have some Akatsuki character ideas if you are ever interested. Anyway I can't say much else since this is the first chapter but it may have potential, we will just have to wait and see. Till then Agurra out.
| Slicerness chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
i'm actually getting bored with bleach/naruto crossovers lately, and yet i look forward to every new chapter of cracked mask with baited breath. so the thought of you doing a rosario/naruto crossover, a crossover i am very much interested in, is very awesome. esspecially(sp?) consideing the pairing looks to be naruto/kurumu my favorite R/N pairing. (cuz honestly, who else could go a full three rounds with a succubus and be fresh as a daisy?)
P.S just don't have moka raped please? its a major turn off for rosario stories.
| darthgamer chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Awesome start. I hope you continue with this along with your other stories. coughOutbreakcough
| Grumpywinter chapter 1 . 10/9/2009
Ok, This looks really good, I am a big fan of NarutoXRosario crossovers. I already like the pairing choices. NarutoxKurumu TsukunexMoka. I gotta ask, will any of the other Naruto ninja villains show up?
If Danzo is the one to show up, I can just picture him trying to march his Root troops into the school thinking it just to be a civilian school, and I can picture them just being torn apart by the monsters.
If it's Pain well He would just be overwhelemed by the monsters, he would kill abunch of monsters