Reviews for Expectations and Other Moving Pieces
BreakfastTimeForTheHuman chapter 5 . 10/28/2009
Ok, I'm going to be pretty straightforward:

I loved the little things like that Edward is skinny, he has thin lips, he wasn't all hot and dazzling when he tried to pick her up and that she seems completely non attracted to him at all and daydreams about athletic Jacob.

I love the sore, numb legs and dirty underwear after two-day ride in the smelly train and I love that there is not food in the house :).

And I love the big issues like his horrifying hostility and coldness (I'm dying to see more glimpses of their past to know what turn him into such a vile dick but I have a strange feeling this is more of a defensive mask than cruel reality) I'm also pretty convinced Bella isn't entirely without the blame and theres more in their past relationship that meets the eye.

I love your realistic, gritty, uncompromising writing. I really appreciate short chapters and your impressing ability to give so much essence in so little words.

And honestly I'm considering it more like an original story than a fanfiction.

You are way beyond the ordinary here.

Great job!

Cheers
BreakfastTimeForTheHuman chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
Fantastic. Unexpected. Fresh. Different. Considered.

Only after one chapter I can tell this will be something BIG!

There's something about your writing. An edge... a good edge ;) and maturity.

Consider me dazzled :D
Paramoreisaband chapter 5 . 10/28/2009
fantastic story, very well written and im intrigued about whats going to happen next. please update soon.
laylak500 chapter 5 . 10/28/2009
I found your story on twilighted and was drawn to it. I was so pleased to find 4 more chapters over here. What a wonderful story! I really am loving it.
dylansmommy06 chapter 5 . 10/28/2009
Sorry I haven't reviewed everychapter.. anyways I love this story a bit depressing but very very good with the emotion.. I can't wait to see what comes of edward and bella :)
alisa231 chapter 5 . 10/27/2009
"More than that, I wanted to want to do all those things."

I think this line made me empathize with Bella more than I have for five chapters. Her history with Edward seems very complicated especially with the Jacob factor.

I'm enjoying this story and I look forward to more flashback sequences -I'm really interested in the E/B's backstory. Thanks.
alisa231 chapter 4 . 10/27/2009
Edward was ridiculously endearing here:

“Can I buy you a drink?” he had asked politely, just the hint of a smile on his face. He was nervous, but he was fairly good at hiding it. That, or he had a hell of a lot of self-respect, even if he didn’t have much self-confidence. I hadn’t know such a thing was possible until I looked at his shy, hopeful face with the teasing smile hint.

I like that you're able to give him so much depth in such a short paragraph. Edward is shy and awkward but he isn't a social cripple. I really liked the line about having self respect without self confidence...I like the shades you're working into his character. He was really adorable in the flashback scene.

It's also interesting that you emphasize Bella's lack of attraction towards Edward both in the past and the present. The almost deprecating way she interacts with him makes me think she's going to break his poor heart.
alisa231 chapter 2 . 10/27/2009
I like how you emphasized how differently Edward treats Bella in comparison to others. The bit about him trying to avoid pushing and shoving other people and being his usual gentleman self has me thinking that Bella may have done something to hurt him in the past.
Elizabeth Keller chapter 5 . 10/27/2009
Very intriguing story! I can't wait to read more!
alisa231 chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
I like the simplicity in your writing. It's frank and the shorter chapters are nice.

I'm intrigued with the premise even though, I was initially afraid that you were going to vilify Edward and make this some 'Bella turns into Xena warrior princess' story. But, I think you left a few hints within the first chapter that show that Bella's perspective of Edward is highly skewed. I'm looking forward to this story unraveling. )

I also thought that it might have been…unkind.”

I liked this line. It's very Edward -you captured that stoic exterior of his beautifully.
Danny116 chapter 5 . 10/27/2009
You made me tear up :( It's kinda sad to see them like this...I hope things get better between them. I can't wait for more, I want to know so badly why they act the way they do. Update soon! :)
Crispy Anakin chapter 2 . 10/27/2009
You lured me in with your summary and intrigued me with the first chapter. Can't wait to see where this is going. I don't know how these two ended up married if they weren't in love with each other but I guess that's why I have to keep reading.
culleneyes chapter 5 . 10/27/2009
all the angst...i'm hanging on though.

looking forward to the next chapter.
sanglin chapter 5 . 10/27/2009
I'm confused...this story is a complete headgame with nothing answered...
culleneyes chapter 4 . 10/27/2009
Still with you...off to chapter 5.
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