Reviews for Unlocked
angelically-devilish chapter 5 . 10/21/2009
Um...okay.

I'm going to start this by saying that this will be the absolute hardest review I've ever had to give, because I really, really, REALLY want to be honest without being insulting because - as I think we've established - I'm 100% in love with your work. SO...here goes:

Firstly, this was extremely well-written. As with everything you do, you bring a certain depth of language with your description and dialogue that I think is absolutely wonderful.

However - and I understand that this is not your story while still being under your name - I'm not crazy about the sudden introduction of the threesome with James and Lily. The plot point seems to come out of no where and I feel a bit of a disconnect between Sirius losing his two "lovers" and then coming out of Azkaban deciding to swear off physical intimacy. I guess I just don't understand the connection, but I did love the patient, almost awkward way you wrote that conversation between Sirius and Hermione - that made a tremendous amount of sense considering her inner monologue and his behaviour.

I did like the slow descent into the lovemaking scene (while admittedly getting slightly frustrated that you cut it off AGAIN) and I liked Hermione's "For the love of Morgana just kiss me!" inner thoughts and attitude. It was understandable behaviour for someone who finally has the person they've been lusting after for over a year, despite the fact that I sorta had to suspend my disbelief that she would actually fall into his arms after spending a full year trying to get over him.

I suppose next time you won't ask for my honest opinion, but I respect you as an author and hope that if there's something that I've written that doesn't really make sense to you or a plot point you find a little unbelievable, I would trust you to point it out to me. I still love this story, and would really like you to update soon, please! Not only because of the sex scene (if there is to be a sex scene) but also because I want to see Hermione come out of her magic coma or whatever limbo she's in!

Great work, and PLEASE update soon!
RoryAceHayden147 chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
Update asap!

Au Revoir!
LoveIt123 chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
aww i love sweet protective victor, he's soo damn adorable!

awesome chapter, i love all the feelings portrayed in it.

X
random acts of kindness chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
wonderful keep up the great work
Sic Vita Est chapter 4 . 10/21/2009
What a wonderful chapter. I really like Viktor and how he is really take the high road with Hermione. What a true friend. Sirius needs to get his act together though. *sigh* But an angsty, protective Sirius is so cute at the same time. Anyway, a great chapter and I can't wait for more. ;)
angelically-devilish chapter 4 . 10/20/2009
Aw...

I've never been a Viktor person...I mean, I like him and his character and I appreciate his presence in Hermione's life and have used him as a character before but I've never been the type to use him as a romantic interest. But this was beautiful. Made me smile.

Sirius is still being a first-class douche (forgive the pedestrian term, but it's appropriate) and I'm really eager to see where you take it. Please update! I need a redeemable Sirius and I need him now! ;-)
LoveIt123 chapter 3 . 10/20/2009
n'aww fred and george are soo sweet if not a little blunt at times )

poor hermione, trapped inside her mind, having to listen to everyone worry about her, bless!

update again soon, loved it X
Cassiopee chapter 3 . 10/20/2009
Yay!

really like the way you manage the whole double-plot thing, having the reader wonder about both how on earth they got together and when will hermione "unlock" herself and what's gonna trigger that :)

can't wait for chap 4!

thx for your work!

C.
RoryAceHayden147 chapter 3 . 10/19/2009
Really good story so far!

I wish that there were more chapters to read!

Update asap!

Au Revoir!
Sic Vita Est chapter 3 . 10/19/2009
It was wonderful to read two chapters at once (I think I got behind a bit). I just loved the twins! ;) That was brilliant. I also liked how at the end you showed how there is more to Hermione that she doesn't show anyone (I totally agree with that). I also thought that Remus and Tonks (from the previous chapter) were so sweet and I was glad that they stood by her side. I can't wait to see more. Really, this is a wonderful story. ;)
angelically-devilish chapter 3 . 10/19/2009
I love the twins...and I love Ginny...and Harry.

I've never been the biggest fan of Hermione going through an Extreme Makeover thing, but I think that's because in my head she's already pretty with wild hair...more like Emma Watson with wild curls. But I like the reluctance and the fact that she had to swallow her pride to do it.

Look forward to seeing the next update...Sirius's behaviour in the 'unconscious' faze makes him a bit more likeable, but I'd like to see what his 'big gesture' is to make him redeemable.

Update soon!
angelically-devilish chapter 2 . 10/19/2009
Is it bad that I want to throttle Sirius?

Honestly, that man is 100% arrogant to think that he can stomp all over something as private as a crush. And he's "tolerated" it? Damn, I would have smacked the living shit out of him if he had come to be with that crap.

And don't get me started on Ron...

I'm really interested in seeing where this goes, because I always find it interesting when a story starts with one of the romantic characters being completely disliked.

Anyway, update soon!
LoveIt123 chapter 2 . 10/19/2009
poor hermione again ( she was so embarrassed!

grr ron is such a git!

sirius was soo harsh after that first kiss.

awesome chapter, really captured the atmosphere/tension/feelings. loved it X
LoveIt123 chapter 1 . 10/19/2009
Aww poer hermione...she was tortured and humiliated 0(

i'm very interested in this story, its great X
Cassiopee chapter 2 . 10/19/2009
hey!

we really are lucky readers, already having the 2nd chap! thx!

i like the fic very much - and dislike ron, and always thought he was the more idotic wizard the world's ever known...

can't wait for chap 3!

x

C.
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