Reviews for Break Away
Shirraz78 chapter 3 . 9/10/2012
Nice work. :D
kenzakisora chapter 3 . 5/16/2012
Cool, i really enjoyed the change in roles for a change, i have an idea of what would happen more or less but reading it from you would be better...Good job
manicbanana chapter 3 . 1/3/2011
This was really great! It made me kinda wish that it was a real game! Good job!
ayannaaki chapter 3 . 9/18/2010
awwwwww so cute :D I loved this, great job! Im going to favourite this :D x
ReNeVIerE07 chapter 3 . 7/2/2010
please update. its a very interesting story
S.Zix chapter 3 . 12/17/2009
I picked up on some typos while reading this, but I didn't keep track of them since I read this on my cell phone. Mostly words smooshed together and the like. If you ever feel inclined, you could probably fix them with a quick read through.

That said, this piece. I feel like you handled the concept well. I have a few minor complaints.

First, very small, but I wasn't sure why you chose to make Cloud 22 instead of 21 (as he is in FFVII). Is there some year where extra stuff happens that delays the events in your version? I realize that a lot of things got rearranged intentionally (Example: Sephiroth going crazy after Tifa and Cloud meet up in Sector 7), but that sort of struck me as odd and made me curious, so I'm just asking about the reason for it.

Another thing. I feel like, in chapter 1, you make Tifa feel like she remembers Cloud too early. She starts to recall the trailing boy. But then she has the upset about the experimentation and that completely throws the Cloud recollection momentum. She doesn't remember anything again until the end. That early on, she might remember something else he says, but I think it would be cool to have her not remember how he looked as a boy until her breakdown in chapter 3. It was just a very powerful scene, but because of the things thrown in between, the pacing felt slightly off.

Let's see. Obviously, Cloud is way different. A lot of the characters are different from how they are in the game (for obvious reasons), but Cloud feels exceptionally different. I can see Tifa having the thoughts and feelings she does if her role were reversed with Cloud's in the came, but Cloud seems a little too extroverted. I always got the feeling that Cloud was very reserved no matter the stage in his life, and I guess he has to clash with Tifa for plot purposes (since he is guiding her through all of these things she's doing), but I think he could be a little less blabby and forth-coming. I gotta' say, I really liked how you handled him in the beginning of the first chapter. Maybe I just thought that the transition was too abrupt?

Last complaint. The Aeris implied thing for Zack and then for Sephiroth. I know you like your pairings, but it added nothing to the story. I think the secret Vincent/Yuffie relationship and Yuffie flirting gave these two characters personality, where they would otherwise have been stooges (first Shinra's, then Tifa's). Meanwhile, in Aeris' case, she would be exactly the same without the comments about her hitting on Zack or possibly having an relationship with Sephiroth. It sort of just sits there and does nothing, so I don't think that you need it.

Otherwise (and do I ever shut up?), I really enjoyed reading this. A feminine side to SOLDIER is something that would not have worked in the game, which makes your story into an entirely different world. You get the sense that Shinra COULD care because its employees aren't mindless and heartless, while in the game everyone employed by Shinra fails to grasp the concept of guilt. For me, your take makes them even more hateable. I suppose it would come from someone who played Crisis Core, but not FFVII, right?

This whole thing has so much potential for tweaking with the original story too. I love how you changed the Cloud and Tifa conversation by the well. "Girls can't be heros" is an excellent line. It hints at something a little upside down as far as Tifa's life choice, but also the world she's in. Plus, the fact that it's intended as a joke, shows the direction you want to go with Cloud's character.

Zack liking flowers is also multi-faceted. You have him strung up as a flirt, but he cares for flowers (girls), and the implied symbolism is cool there.

Also, Cloud with the wine collection and you referring to Tifa's eyes as wine-colored adds further coolness to their relationship.

I may have mentioned that I loved the Tifa epiphany/break-down scene, but I did not really hammer it in. I adored it. I love the lacing of Tifa's thoughts and reactions to her setting in with her sudden memories. It's done so often in books and film, but it's rarely done well, and I think that you've nailed it. Also with the eyes, Cloud's blue eyes were the only color you mentioned in that scene, and it definitely dominates her despairing mood.

Tifa's character, again, was great. You had to tread the nearly non-existent line of hardened warrior and feminine bleeding heart. Great job.

I could babble some more, but I'll just wind up this review with a thank you, and an apology for not reading this sooner (again).
JuneZz chapter 3 . 11/3/2009
hey really nice fic! ever thought of continuing it? i hope u would..although tifa being SOLDIER and wearing a SOLDIER uniform really doesn't suit me lol..maybe after tifa quit SOLDIER she'll learn martial arts and become the tifa in FF7..
vLuna chapter 3 . 10/28/2009
Oh wow, that was really interesting. I've never read something like this before, Tifa being a SOLDIER and Cloud owning Seventh Heaven. I enjoyed it very much. Thanks for sharing
animegirl1987 chapter 3 . 10/26/2009
I do like that you changed the roles and managed to keep in Zack as well. A very interesting take on if the roles were switched with a bit of different events. They're somewhat out of order for the game, but that doesn't bother me at all. I like it a lot and hope that maybe you'll continue this. I'll be checking it out form time to time.
serenbach chapter 3 . 10/26/2009
Yay, I loved this so much! I loved the way you reversed Tifa and Cloud's promise to each other. Also, Yuffie's "we’re all successfully dead!" really made me laugh. You really captured the spirit of the original game (whch you really should play!). This was a great AU! :)
xoVanilla-Bean chapter 3 . 10/25/2009
OMGOMGOMG.

So um. I LOVED THIS.

And changing Tifa into the SOLDIER was pretty awesome. I liked how you wrote the role of her, the little things you changed to make the right accomodations and everything. It was really nice.

And YAY! The light Clotiness. :D

But I loved all the action. It was a great change of pace for me, since I usually get swept up in all the romance and/or angsty/drama stuff.

But I like the ending here, and how Sephiroth 'died'? and the hinted romance between him and Aerith (even though I was rooting for her and Zack? Even though you don't care for them that much ), and I have to say that I kinda giggled at the thought of Zack and Cloud owning Seventh Heaven and running it. Haha~

Anyway, this was such a fun read and I completely enjoyed it. :D I'm so happy you got to writing it so fast!
mom calling chapter 3 . 10/24/2009
Thanks for a different twist on the story we all love-even though every one of us already have our own private twist.. We've already customized the story to meet our own needs...I'm glad you had a suggestion that I can work into my storyline... mc
Doctor It chapter 3 . 10/24/2009
Chapter 2:

o:

ANXIETY. GO TIFA GO.

Ah Tifa. Through this whole chapter I was feeling such empathy for her, and for Cloud's kindness.

EEP.

AND THEN. IN THE REACTOR. Holy shizums that was so exciting. :D

And then Yuffie. ;] She's always such a nice comic relief, though she in herself is worth far more than just THAT.

Chapter 3:

I thought you ended this quite well. :3 I felt bad for Reno, I hope he's okay..-makeshimokayinmind-.

:D

That part of the story is always, really, one of the saddest, and I felt you got it just right.

Ehhehehee.

Thank you for the Cloti fluff. -

Lovely story! I HOPE I SEE MORE WRITING COMING OUTTA YOU. With lots of Cloti or Fack or Yuffentine or a combo of two if you please.

n.n b
ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie chapter 3 . 10/23/2009
Nice work! I love the revamp of the promise scene! "Girls aren't supposed to be the heroes..." How very Cloud. The romance did help, thanks. I was having a bit of a Cloud/Tifa withdrawl... I haven't had much time for fanfiction the past week or so. Yuffie's enthusiasm about being 'successfully dead' cracked me up. She's such a trip sometimes.

I would be curious to see this if you continue it, but I'd rather see LG at this point. Maybe when that's over?

'Til next time!

-Valk
ObsessiveCompulsiveValkyrie chapter 2 . 10/23/2009
...Seriously? Aw, man! No offense, but you really need to work on your Cloud/Tifa one/twoshots. That's the second one that ended on a Vince/Yuffie note! Dang it... Any chance of another entry? I want to know what happens next!

Overall, this was very nicely done. I really liked this one. Sure, I would've preferred an update of LG, but a new story is always good. You did a nice job of reversing their roles without taking too much from their natural personalities. I did notice a few things that seemed a bit off, but it's an AU, so we're all good.

Ahem. Please excuse me while my jaw drops to the floor. You haven't played FF7! No wonder you like Vincent/Yuffie so much... Have you played Crises Core? I'd assume so, judging by the detail to all the SOLDIER stuff in this one. Anyway, I got to run... Ciao!

'Til next time!

-Valk
28 | Page 1 2 Next »