|Reviews for Happy Birthday|
| RavenAlche chapter 1 . 8/14/2012
so touching...i really want to good story
| Very Happy Person chapter 1 . 2/19/2012
...Everyone's in character, no spelling errors...OH MY GOD! This fic is sad, but it's very good! I'm glad to share the fandom with a good fanficiton writer like yourself.
...Ash is happy you did him justice...
| Martin III chapter 1 . 11/27/2011
Outstanding work. I'd love to be able to offer some helpful criticism, but there's nothing intrinsically wrong with either the story or the prose. There is one very noticeable error: "I don't know what kind of sick games you and those phantoms you talk to," is an incomplete clause. And, well, it's more than a little odd that anyone would write hate mail directly to Marona while her parents were still alive.
Other than that, nothing but good stuff for me to point out. This piece of Phantom Brave history does merit being recounted in detail, and so far as I know you're the only author to do so. More importantly, you've done a splendid job of it, effectively capturing the emotional poignancy of the game. As other reviewers have noted, we really feel Ash's pain and guilt as you tell the story. At the same time, there's a touch of the bittersweet in Marona's innocence and joy as she greets Ash's return.
The dialogue is strong as well, with all the characters, and Ash in particular sounding very in character, just as if this were a scene from the game. Ash's decision to wait a day to tell Marona the truth about her parents feels very natural.
Once again, outstanding work. I really hope you'll write more for this under-attended section of FF dot net.
| superecho chapter 1 . 2/28/2011
Very sad... But incredibly touching till the end.
Ash's shock when he realized that he is dead...
His inability to tell Marona the truth...
And to watch MArona so innocently waited for her parents to come back... While giving Ash good company and smile...
My heart aches so much from reading this.
This story of yours truly expresses the hardships Marona and Ash faced during 8 years prior to the game.
Excellent job. A truly touching story from an excellent writer.
| iC i e l chapter 1 . 11/2/2010
Awww, so touching...
I love how they stay in character throughout the whole story, because it seems like this could actually happen in the real game.
Of course, Ash is still protective as ever. Love it
| ershin chapter 1 . 2/24/2010
wow, awesome! I like this fic
| shelwyn chapter 1 . 12/8/2009
I really liked the story. Are you going to continue this? Or is it over here?
| AngelicSnow chapter 1 . 12/5/2009
you know... i've never cried while reading a story. watching filmy? yes of course, there are plenty of films that ake me cry, but i don't cry while reading.
but imaginening small, innocent Marona, sitting at that table all alone, waiting for her parents to come home even though that they never will, it made me cry just a little.
you're really talented.