|Reviews for Should Have Gone To Specsavers, Grell|
| Katina Uchiha chapter 1 . 1/18/2010
LMAO! *crying from laughing* taht was TOO good! loved it!
| ayafangirl chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
omigosh, that was so funny! i love anything that implies willxgrell, and their personalities were perfect. but o wow...poor ronald. o.O haha! that was cute and really clever, i always took the fact that Reapers always wear their glasses for granted...i never thought of what would happen if grell broke his. or should i say will broke them... that was hilarious!
| goneawaygoodbye chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
First off, this was REALLY cute. XD Second, it's nice to see light hearted office silliness for these characters because sometimes the pwp gets a little old (imo).
At first I was a little confused about what was going on as far as the scene location, but I saw soon after that it was intended confusion. I did re-read the first paragraph before reading on, so if you can find a way to have ambiguity, but not make readers second guess themselves, it may be helpful.
I liked the tone you had for each character. Grell was great and he sounded like he was floating along in his wonderful world until he realized his glasses were gone. Ha ha. :3 William was good because he wasn't "cold as ice" as some people write him. I love when he said "Grell, you idiot." It sounds like he's witnessed first hand how blind Grell is. XD I also enjoy the internal thoughts you gave Will... it's fun to see him with his thoughts all secret because you know he hides his feelings about most things. And Ronald was just lovely! Since he doesn't have much going on in the manga so far, I think you took a nicely inspired approach to him. The part at the end about him listen was too perfect, and I didn't even see it coming. Ha ha.
I was a little unclear about some of the action when Grell's glasses broke, but I was able to piece it together after a while. The scene is fast with both of them moving kind of on reflex instinct, but you can still take the time to flesh out their movements a little more. I doubt it would hurt the pacing. Since I already know what's going on, it makes total sense when re-reading, but it was iffy the first time through. This is a dynamic moment in the story, so don't be afraid to give it the attention it needs.
Also, Will's cabinet of "things you can't touch" is just too cute and funny. :3
I wasn't sure where the story was going after Knox left, but I think that's fitting because Will was also not sure what was going to happen, and we are following along his thoughts then. Everything is sort of tentative and it works. I suggest taking out the douche part of "you do the fixing" just because it doesn't really fit with the writing tone you'd been using. It seems a little out of place.
Grell's reaction was fun and oh so prima donna of him. XD You got me when at first it seemed he wasn't taking his broken prized possession so well, then he was like "OH NO YOU DON'T". Laughs were had. For the very end, I have to say I'm still not quite sure why William's jaw dropped about the paper or even what the paper was. Perhaps I missed something, but maybe it can be cleared up or alluded to earlier?
So those are my thoughts on the content.
There was something that was in present tense when it should be in past, but now I can't find it. Hmm... Grammar wise, use "here are" instead of "here's" when Knox first enters. The sentence that starts "He cast one last 'help me!' look" and ends with speaking is too long of a sentence, and it's unclear weather Grell is talking or Ronald. My suggestion is to make the spoken part a new sentence with who is speaking and how he is exiting just for some closure to Ron and Grell. Other than that most little things I noticed weren't incorrect, so that's about it.
Over all I think the story was very nice. It's been a while since I got to read a fun fanfic, so I really appreciate it. I think with your take on the characters and the approach to the timing of the scene, you could probably write some more great death god headquarters stories! I'm kind of surprised no one else has reviewed yet, but when people read your fic I'm sure they will enjoy it. :D Thank you so much for sharing with me, and I hope my comments are helpful/what you were looking for. :3