|Reviews for Slipped Away|
| Thats-So-Alex chapter 2 . 10/21/2009
It Was Totally Unecessary For Them To Give You That Review. But I Wouldn't Take It To Heart, (Which I Understand You Probably Didn't) They Just Had Nothing Better To Do. :)
As Long As Other People Believed Your Story Was Good, And You Believe It, Then Thats All The Matters! One Person Isn't Going To Change It. :)
I Hope None Of That Came Across As Too..Patronizing. If It Did, I'm Sorry. I Was Only Trying To Be Helpful. :)
Alex. xo. :)
| JayLynn-wrtngdncr chapter 2 . 10/21/2009
| JayLynn-wrtngdncr chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
good. now, honestly, i read the note placed as ch 2 before i even read the story, and I think that Lord Kevin is a doosh. Yes, I love Bella, and I personally don't think i would be able to write something like this, but the fact that I could read that and actually enjoy it somewhat shows just how wrong that idiot is. Yes, there were some errors, but who doesn't make errors? This is a community site, and we do have the right, as long as we give proper credit, to say and do whatever we like with the characters. I know me personally when i get a alert, even if the summary doesn't sound like something i would like, i give it a chance. Please, don't let any flames get to you. Use them to build yourself into a better author. In reality, they would be your critics, and your critics determine how many books will be sold, who all will like them, etc. Heck, even if the review is bad, often the result is good. No one really cares what they think in the long run. Do you like this story? If so, that's great, and that's all that really counts. If not, well, I'm glad you put it up anyways, because then others may get your point of view. You also told us that you just thought of this in your head and had to write it. To be honest, I almost published two chapters where the same concept happens, except with Tanya and Jessica. It's not that I hate the characters, it just seems to fit their personalities in my eyes. Curious. How many people would hate you if, just because you wanted to shake things up a bit, you made Alice the playgirl? They may say one thing, but I bet you most would actually enjoy it. We as a culture are deprived of originality. Do you know how many stories I have read in the past year that have many connections to Twilight? The idea that we look past the wall that has been built in order to restrain us from having any self-imagination with these wonderful characters given to us by Stephenie Myers is absolutely wonderful, and anyone who wants to put someone who is brave enough to get out there and do something different down is just sick in the head. That's like taking a young child from school and telling them that there is no point in learning because the world is going to end. Who wants that kind of veil? And to where he said you were just providing your Emo views, that is just wrong. Maybe you're Emo, maybe not, honestly, I couldn't care less! And I bet no one else really does either. You can write, and you have good ideas. That should be enough to give anyone a good smack in the face. When you think about it, who really would make Bella the bad girl? She's the star of the book! Taking that step is, like i said earlier, pure bravery, and i admire you for it. Yes, I like Bella. Yes, I like this story. Ever heard of compromise? It's an essential part of life. LEARN TO DEAL WITH IT, PEOPLE! Just remember, Smiles, don't give a crap what flamers think. Just put them in their place and MOVE ON. Who needs 'em?
| KMae13 chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
THis is a very Good story! I Loved it ! I hope you contuie to add to it! :)
| Lord Kelvin chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
Usually, the one-two term is a good thing.
You make an exception here. For a start, you make a fool of yourself in the note, begging for a banner. Sheesh and ha-ha. Buy Photoshop and don't wh*re.
Very easy to ruin a first impression. It was repeated in the first line. Nearly satire material. A helpless hated character. Have some decency. Use a blog for your emo needs. You can't do just 'anything' in a story here. Canons matter.
Emmett's speech is as dry and corny as corn starch. Please, so many words. I'd choke from pronouncing all of it darkly, or lose a serious tone. Do refrain from comic book tirade.
Pretty empty words. Take the large paragraph about affairs. You've included everything according to the soap opera genre, save for reason. I could find details they literally spam modern works. Facts and figures. Boring. You completely ignored psyche and gave her no actual reason to behave that way. Third person is all-knowing. You've missed lots of opportunities there.
It went downhill from that point. Your personal hatred made it a non-stop anti-Bella tirade. Everyone disses her and she is sad. Static, dull, unoriginal. Predictable even. This isn't a one-shot. It's a failed experiment of your own emotion.
Don't post without an action plan. Being abrupt didn't work out for you.
Have a nice, abuse-free day.
| Robpfan chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
Wow, I love this story... Edward should have faught back against the way Bella was acting in Eclipse. Maybe she wouldn't have been such a bitch towards him then. But I guess he was afraid to lose her, and she was bitch enough to leave.
Anyway, I like your stories, i'm currently waiting for updates on some of them. One-shots are great time fillers, and stress relievers for the writer. Helps get rid of writers block.
Keep up the great wriiting
| twilightermurff26 chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
i thought that story was really good!
| Thats-So-Alex chapter 1 . 10/21/2009
I Was Hoping For A Happy Ending.
But That Was Amazing! I Loved It! :D
Great Job! :D
I Could Have A Go At A Banner For You, Or I Know Someone Who Does Good Ones. :) Let Me Know! :D