Reviews for Hell Butterfly
Eduard Kassel chapter 6 . 12/30/2009
Why is this chair spinning? So you can turn around iun it dramatrically to confront the hero/hostage!

I have to say I am eager to see more Karin, I forget does she have a mask fragment? Are those pointed teeth her fragment?

And also eager to see how Halibel develops with a new female arrancar under her wing. The Third and her Fraccion were interesting OTL anyway.

Nel Tu's actions make sense. After all it is not like the SS would be tolerant of a Hollow even if it presented itself as an ally. The TR reference is not apprexiated though, there is wrong and then there is wrong.

Glad the magot got killed bu Kuchiki. He actually beats out Yammy as my least favorite Espada.

Please update! Your story is so unique I have been uanle to find any susbstitute while waiting!
oct9010 chapter 6 . 11/30/2009
Mother of all reviews:

Ok, yes, it's probably bad form to review twice in a row, but I just finished reading and I have new things to say. Plus, who doesn't like concrit? (most fanfic writers, for one)

First: Detail. You've got a lot of it, and you're good at it. The only false note for me was the occasional self-consciously overwrought metaphor, likely intended as humor but still clashing somewhat with the tone and serving to draw attention to what would be in almost any other circumstance excessive adjectivery (yes I know that's not a word). My opinion: you're good enough to get away with playing it completely straight without coming across as pretentious, so go for it.

...Actually, I'm trying to go back and pull out an example of something I thought was off-color, but the best example I can find is chapter 2's "highlighter-orange hair". It's entirely possible that it's just me, so take that with a grain of salt.

Second: Fight scenes. In short, they rock. Longer but also more decisive than the originals; somehow the way you wrote them made so much sense I was surprised that wasn't how Kubo intended them to go. (Gran Rey Cero Treble? Pure win.) Of course, assuming familiarity with the source material on the part of your audience frees you up from having to show every last trump card pulled by minor characters before they can be allowed to die- Nnoitra never did get to show off his extra arms, mainly because it wouldn't have done him any good- but taking that freedom and using it to make battles interesting again is a mark of a very good writer.

Third: Original elements. I don't read a lot of Bleach fiction- in my experience, the quality ranges from horrific to mediocre, with oneshots and shorts focusing on minor characters being the only actually readable examples, for some reason- so I don't have a frame of reference to know if any of the ideas are unique to you or have become something like a trope, but either way:

the use of the term 'Minus' to refer to 'heart'less, 'empty' souls is both obvious and very clever;

the theory that because some Arrancar seem to have no hole they have regained their 'heart' is quite interesting (and raises some questions about Ichigo's Inner Hollow, which also does not seem to have a hole);

and the reasoning Ryuken gives for his typical Shonen Dad way of being tremendously powerful while still refusing to actually do anything actually useful is so obvious, I had never even considered it. I read it, and I wanted to hit myself. Of course, the fact that Quincy powers are 'dangerous to the balance' was only mentioned once, and thereafter completely and inexplicably ignored by everyone, so of course I assumed it was a red herring. It makes amazing sense, though.

Fourth: Ellipses (the plural of ellipsis). My only real negative, basically just a nitpick. Apparently the actual typographical rules are more complicated than what I was taught, so I suppose that illustrating an in-speech pause with three periods and no space (Chapter 5, "Nel...the third", as opposed to 'Nel... the third') is not technically incorrect, regardless of how off it seems, but I'm pretty sure that using more than four or more periods to indicate a longer pause (Chapter 4, "like me...and, and,") is not necessary, and breaks immersion (at least for me). This is really just a stylistic thing, though, so if you're doing it on purpose feel free to ignore me.

/Mother of all reviews.


MOAR. In both acronymic and phonetic senses.
oct9010 chapter 4 . 11/29/2009
This is criminally under-reviewed. You are an amazing writer, and should be proud of yourself to the point of overweening arrogance. Give yourself a pat on the back from me.

The intercutting of dramatic tragedy and surreal hilarity (in chapter 3) rendered me rather dizzy, but it was a weirdly enjoyable sensation, so there you go.

Keep up the AMAZING work!

ObsidianDaydream chapter 6 . 11/29/2009
Awesome story. I love the way you can write everyones perspectives distinctly while still keeping them In Character, not many authors can manage that.

I guess the NaNoWriMo thing didn't work out? xD

Keep up the good work! Can't wait for the next chap.
Mokatokin chapter 6 . 11/27/2009
also, i'm confused as to what nel is doing. please explain.

also, i want to see some karin action. :D

i wonder where you are taking the story once it catches up with the manga.
Mokatokin chapter 1 . 11/26/2009
0_0 favoriting now!
ml7 chapter 6 . 11/25/2009
Ooh "why is dis chair spinnig?" Gawd you are suchj a good writer!
Ourania-Annais chapter 6 . 11/24/2009
aw where's Karin?
Turtle-chan in Blue chapter 6 . 11/24/2009
Mappadouji chapter 6 . 11/24/2009
I am loving how the events are changing just because of that one Arrancar Blowing up.
Pippin's Socks chapter 6 . 11/24/2009

I was a mix of laughter and OHGODNOES during this EPIC INSTALMENT OF EPIC.




Also, Gin needs to be Scottish. END OF.


CaptainTide chapter 2 . 11/20/2009
WHOO! Yeah! Keep it up! I love the detail!
Taeniaea chapter 5 . 11/20/2009
cool chapter
Reiuko chapter 5 . 11/20/2009
sorry for not reviewing till now!

but anyway i loved the last chapters! four made me gasp because i still feel so sorry for karin, and can only hope that somehow she'll be able to go back to her old self(if that's even possible). it also makes me have a really bad feeling that ichigo will have an encounter with karin while they are there.

as for chapter 5, the fight between nel and nnoitra was cool, and the ending of the chapter made me laugh. i loved nel's cute little sentence, it ended the chapter perfectly!

anyway, i hope you update soon!
ClearSkiesFastWings chapter 5 . 11/19/2009
sorry, you got more shiny then warmth lol. lots of spoilers in here though... warnings maybe?
634 | « Prev Page 1 .. 30 37 38 39 40 41 42 .. Last Next »