Reviews for The Bride of Edward Cullen
TwifanUK chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
Wow that was dark! lol. I couldn't help but laugh at Edwards head being knocked off though and the image of his body floundering around like a headless chicken.

Completely different to ANYTHING I've read (Twilight based) and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

"Sloppy sunny-side-up eggs just looked like what could possibly pass as vampire ejaculate; yellow and yokey"



Yeah, I'm never going to be able to look at eggs in the same way again...
LiddyAnne chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
That was . . . scary.
WhyIsBellaTheOne chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
haha awesome... I could actually see this happening.. since Bella only cared about the sex and nothing else
Hyvanna chapter 1 . 11/17/2009
Um WoW! Thank goodness SM made Bronze Head use his man popsicle and sunlite dico balls, Talk about sexual frustration poor Bella. LOL Awesome Read a true shock to the system going straight from readin Darkside of the Moon. Thankya for the warning. *Two Thumbs -n- Two Big Toes or is that Tits UP!* :)
smudger1 chapter 1 . 11/16/2009
Flippin'heck! Never get on the wrong side of Bad Ass Bella!

I read the Rock 'em Sock 'em line a couple of times...I couldn't believe that she had done that, but by heck, she had!

It had so many unusual words in here that you just don't see every day, someone swallowed a Thesarus!

Absolutely brilliant ladies, you could have made a longer story out of this if you wanted to. Just a crackin' good story line. So different from anything else that I have read in a while.

Enough gushing anyway... Look forwad to what you two may dream up next;).
Juliejuliejulie chapter 1 . 11/15/2009
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

OMG, I have no words.

This was hysterical: "Offering myself as a mental condom completed my sexually stifled existence."

And this: "with a kiss so deep his tongue licked my g-spot from the inside."

"Flamus interruptus." HA!

Such fun with language in this dark little rascal. You two must have had a blast.

I feel kinda bad for pitiable Edward. You so thoroughly destroy him.

My mind is forever blown to see this side of Blondie. It must be a refreshing change from all the sweet canon fics. Great work, ladies.
Eidelweiss chapter 1 . 11/14/2009
Wow. Great story! I usually like my Edward and Bella to be happy forever, but hell I will take this. Nothing more vengeful than a woman scorned )
JED66 chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
Well that was a little bit disturbing and twisted and bloody brilliant!
ByteMeGeekette chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
Holy fucking God! THAT WAS AWESOME!
Mousif chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
Completely brilliant.

I'll be reading this every three weeks or so, just to make myself feel better.
thenextGayleKing chapter 1 . 10/30/2009
Christopher Hitchens has said of the Old Testament that "God is the biggest villain in fiction." (I know I am paraphrasing a bit here). I disagree. After reading this little epic, the award now goes to Bella Swan Cullen Moste Evile Biotch of All Time! Someone hand her a golden statue please (obviously not Carlisle!) and oh yeah, it had better be minus the head eh? She's fooking stark ravin' bonkers mad as a cut snake ain't she! No amount of beta blockers can help this chickie. I admit, I read this with a morbid fascination. It felt bit like rubber necking at an accident scene. Do I or don't I want to see the carnage? As I finished the whole story, I would have to answer in the affirmative! Loved all the snarky humour of-course. "Hummin' that fucking infuriating tune again." That was just marvellous. How about how she just crushed up the ring. I fully expected her to flick it away like a bogey on her finger. Bless her. How about what she did to those Cullens eh? And I did feel a pang for Charlie. But it was to be expected. And at least it was quick. What a great delve into what could have happened. And it could have. I like the way you made me ponder that. And oh so well drew attention to the things that were 'wrong' with the B&E relationship to start with. And I was left with what I like to call, a bit of a 'Huis Clos' feeling at the end. I do believe that Edward will always be her "Hell' and she will see him in the next life. She'll never fully escape him will she? Grand story. You two are stark ravin' bonkers mad too by the way. Course, I already knew that. (About one of you anyway and if you associate with Rie, you're in by default. I should know.) Happy Halloween!
tanwellman chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
Hey Gals!

Ok, for the record, this kind of thing is not my cup o'tea. I am a cannon girl, through and though. If a story says "AU," I usually wont' even open it, and OOC is a dirty word to me.

However, being a die-hard Blondie fan, I thought I would give it a shot.

I loved the snarky humor. I laughed and laughed.

Very well-written, awesome grammar, no mistakes, and more importantly, it seemed like you guys had so much fun writing it. I enjoyed watching the process on Twitter.

This was the best-written AU OOC story I've ever "peeked at." Well done ladies!
misyx chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
Nice one, ladies.
RowanMoon chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
What a delightfully devilish duo you ladies are. This slice of Femme Noirs is a decadent piece of dark chocolate, to be savored and enjoyed for it's rich bittersweet flavor.

Evil Kill Bill Bella indeed! I adored dark side Bella, he decapitation of Edward...much like the Praying Mantis, ripping the head off her mate when she's finished with him. Her removal of Carlisle's surgeon hands was diabolical genius...framing Edward for the deaths of Chuck and Newton had me chortling and cackling with glee.

Edward's ingestion of gasoline to turn himself into a Malatov cocktail was gory goodness, and her non plussed attitude towards his death along with her vexation that he found a way to end his suffereing made me very very scurred of Bella.

I loved this walk on the wild side. Your writing styles meshed and melded like an alchemical potion which I would gladly tip back again and again.

xo
AzureEyedI chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
"Why hadn’t I listened? Ah, yes, because of my harebrained pubescent hormones."

And here we have the crux of the whole bloody mess that was Twilight.

There are so many great lines in this piece, I don't know where to start, so I won't. I really enjoyed this work, and Gawdammit to H-E-Double Hockey Stick Zippo Lighter from a cut-rate sporting goods store in some bumf**k town in the Olympic Peninsula, this is the only Bella I like!

Hoo boy, the ever-lasting virgin - that had me in stitches. Sucks to be you, bb!

Great, now I have yet ANOTHER author to add to my favorite. Thx bitch. Thx a bunch! *winks*
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