Reviews for The Bride of Edward Cullen
slobber-monkey chapter 1 . 10/23/2009
...just WOW...

Rie, I'm used to you just taking my breath away and leaving me begging for more, you didn't disappoint. Blondie, I don't know you, but I love you.

That was sick and twisted, scary, sad, gross, and even kinda funny.

But seriously I gagged a little at the thought of Newton's needle d*ck coming anywhere near any vagina EVER!

...simply AMAZING...
LasciviouslyNaughtyThoughts chapter 1 . 10/23/2009
Unruly, disbelieving and spun upside down. Spun in circles so wide as to cause a riptide of mushy, brushy off-white brain matter splatter. Spun in circles so tight there is no particle of oxygen that can fit in these bereft lungs anymore.

Forever a virgin. Unable to fornicate in the matricular sense of the word. Never to know a man's thorn prick. Never to rid herself of a self-loathing, self-flagellating, selfish zombie.

Newly foaled vampires and their crazed minds. Hell bent to make our most charming Cullens all pay with their gifts. So perfectly executed in the most foul of ways. Each one castrated and stripped of what set them apart. All the king's horses and all the kings men, couldn't put them back together again. The Belladonna Bitch had made sure of that.

Beautiful in it's sanguine setting, you two have done in this Les Femmes Noires joust. Hang your hats together so that the fibers may twine and play together, because the meet of your minds is a finely woven knit of the best quality.

So as to not lead you astray This is my alter ego. This is my secret. These are my lasciviously naughty thoughts. April
dazzledtina chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWSOME!I LOVED EVERY SINGLE SENTENCE. BRAVO LADIES, BRAVO!
Rebadams7 chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
Definitely not fanfic as usual. Ouch ouch ouch! This just HURT to read. The timing was Bella, the vocabulary was tartly used - but right to the end, Edward finds a way to 'get' to Bella...

Worth the read to get to your ending - satisfying in it's own merit.

Reb
thia2 chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
Alright, you crazy bitches, step AWAY from the absinthe! My Lord that goes to the top of the crac fic pile - snort :-)
RedVelvetHeaven chapter 1 . 10/22/2009
INSANE! OMG...that was awesome! You definitely captured the essence of this contest and 'Badass Bella'. Holy crap I think I'm in love...and not just with Bella...but Demetri too.

Fucking brilliant with the way Edward killed himself. Thank goodness I've departed from my strictly canon ways so I can fully appreciate what you both did here. I loved it...every damn word of it.

More please :)

xoxoRed
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