Reviews for Becoming Jane
Raeshi chapter 1 . 10/14/2010
That was so twisted! I loved it. She is so evil.
miaokuancha chapter 1 . 9/11/2010
not a nice girl. yet you have portrayed her in a way that is plausible enough that it feels real. i had always wondered what power aro had over her, considering her gift. what would keep her from turning on aro and at the very least winning her freedom, or, even more audaciously, wresting the rulership of volterra from him. very nice one-shot.
Alby Mangroves chapter 1 . 9/10/2010
Thanks for linking me to this last night, I loved it!

You were right, it's the opposite of fluff, and I love a darkvamp.

This was a wonderful portrayal of a psychopath in the making, from prodding her father's brain with a curious finger to torturing animals, to finally reaching her full tormenting potential! No wonder you won for Best Canon too, this was so well done!

Great job x
MyTwiDreams chapter 1 . 8/31/2010
This was dark...but fascinating. It's very well written. You did a great job getting in the head of evil little Jane
star574 chapter 1 . 8/13/2010
Hiya! I found my way here via the vampies nom list.

No worries about putting me in therapy - i'll be going to check out Creating Alec. :)
hooray4dave chapter 1 . 8/11/2010
How deliciously evil.
sweetp-1 chapter 1 . 7/30/2010
Oh your twitter follow just made me remember to come back and review. I just rec'd this o/s to some friends - so deliciously dark! I really enjoyed finding out more about Jane, she was always so intriguing in the books with her sadistic streak, your exploration of how she came to be was just excellent. Well done.
StrangelyPoetic chapter 1 . 7/30/2010
BEST JANE STORY I'VE EVER READ! jeesh it's so good! great job!
lizf22 chapter 1 . 7/25/2010
How deliciously E-vil she is our Jane! No wonder she is such a nasty, sadistic biotch! What a life she had, poor thing! I always love a well done Volturi tale and this was perfection bb! Will put Becoming Alec on my must read list! :O)
JaceDamian23 chapter 1 . 7/24/2010
great story hun. I always loved stories with Jane. Loved the flashbacks. I always wished there were more Jane stories where her and alec are burning at the stake. Though I wish you wrote out a small aro's point of view where him and the vampires save the two kids.

but ya I loved it
martdg chapter 1 . 7/22/2010
No need for therapy...but I may have a nightmare or two. ;)

I was chatting with a friend who mentioned your story. I'm not a dark fic kind of person, but I guess that only applies to E&B. I was all for reading a dark fic about Jane.

Excellent use of imagery. When Jane carried Sister Isabella into the tunnel, for a moment I thought of Edgar Allen Poe's "Cask of Amontillado". The dark wet surroundings and the opressing feel of impending doom triggered that visceral response I felt while reading Cask. Very well done!

I'll have to check out Creating Alec, but probably best if I wait for another day. I would like to get some sleep tonight. Thank you for sharing your vision of Jane's origins, it was fascinating. ~MsMartydog
AccioBourbon chapter 1 . 7/14/2010
{waving at you} Hi, sweets! This story has been on my to-read list for quite a while, and I’m kicking myself in my generously sized arse for taking so long to get to it, because it completely lives up to its reputation, my dear.

Jane’s voice really intrigues me here. I don’t remember her age in canon, but I believe it’s 14/15? Even before she’s turned, however, it’s an “older” sounding voice, and that, combined with her vocabulary, make me very curious about her background. I’m really pulled in, hoping without even realizing it, that I get to learn more about her and Alec and from whence they came.

“Sister Isabella.” {Smirk.}

I think it’s interesting that Jane bears the torture and the pain in complete silence, which is how she later delivers the pain to others.

“So I carried him toward the well, where I intended to teach him a lesson for his insolence.” They say that torturing animals is predictive of serial killer tendencies. LOL.

I’m trying to remember: was Eleazar valuable to the Volturi because he could sense “potential” gifts in humans? Otherwise, how would Aro know that Jane was anything other than a sadist?

“I came up behind him, raised my weapon and bashed his skull again and again, until the stream ran red with his blood and little white bits of his brain floated gently down the stream.” Wow. I think I love you. She is quite the little twisto, isn’t she? Don’t get me wrong: abuse is bound to play a role in how Jane and Alec turned out, but the delight she has in bludgeoning her father offers us a direct view of her sadism.

“I ventured my finger further and gave his brain a curious prod.” OMG. Jane literally poking around in someone’s brain? Brilliant.

“I knew that the only monsters that existed were the human kind.” Uttered by Jane, that statement becomes layered with meaning. And of course, it takes one to know one, right?

"With her look," he whispered as he raised his hand and softly brushed my cheek, "she will bring men to their knees," he finished with reverence.” I love this clever use of an otherwise common expression!

“I smiled wickedly and winked at her. She bit her lip in horror.” That’s so evil and so good, all at the same time. ;) And in a sea of fanfic lip-biting, that one stands apart.

“I drank from them all, catching the blood with the bowl and savoring the taste, not of her blood so much as the delectable flavor of her total and absolute fear of me.” Great sentence. Perhaps the central idea of the story, the center of Jane’s characterization, is contained right there.

In the end, you really went there: the sexual thrill (and even orgasm?) that she gets from the pain she inflicts. It was nervy and brave and I’m SO glad that you didn’t back away from it.

She is so drunk with her own power, isn’t she? Not just the bloodlust and the newborn obsession with feeding, but I get a clear picture of her as someone who is absolutely thrilled to have the tables turned, except that she’s now able to kick it up a couple of hundred notches from the torturing of rodents.

And how completely pissed - how totally incensed she must have been to have her ability NOT work on Bella – I mean ISABELLA, a name she probably hates for all eternity.

Wonderful job, lady! I will have to check out the continuation because I’m so curious to learn about Alec too.
Sydney chapter 1 . 7/6/2010
I'm not going to lie here, I don't like Twilight much. But this was really just awesome. Well written, interesting, and pretty dark.
Here's Where the Story Ends chapter 1 . 7/3/2010
You know I read this last week, and this week has been crazy but that's not really a good excuse, now is it?

Contrived? No, bb, not in forever.

Let's talk first about the writing. This was gorgeous. It was written beautifully, even though it isn't pretty subject matter. I love the use of sensory description. I literally could smell the smoke. I thought you did a fantastic job with this, and the research, the attention to details, your connection to the story...all incredibly event. She had a story, she just needed someone to tell it, she needed a voice. You more than did her justice, Lore.

The story itself...are killers born or are the made? I loved how you explored this. Was she inherintly evil or made so by her circumstances? The canon tells us that not all vampires are evil and that pieces of their humanity are carried over when they are changed. But we don't always get to see how they came to be who they were before their change. And I found this be full of socially relevant ideas that can be applied to present day. You did an amazing job on this.

Some of the lines that stayed with me, long after I finished reading...

I'd kept my promise to myself. I never did scream. - I literally got chills at this. Chills, Lore.

I came up in front of him and smiled. "Goodbye, Father," I said pleasantly. - This was so believable in terms of how Jane would be in this situation. The entire scene was gruesome and dark, but I felt her need for justice, more for her brother than for herself. I loved the relationship you painted between Jane and Alec. That for someone so damaged, so cruel, there is still something she holds more important than herself, something she will fight to protect. This was present througout the entire piece.

"I promise, Jane, I will free you from the rat-eyed Sister," he whispered conspiratorially and winked at me. - Perfect Aro, right down to the wink.

"I am your death, Sister. Aren't I pretty?" - Perfect, perfect, perfect. Completely perfect Jane. Her torturing Sister Isabella, like the killing of her father, was disturbing and horrific, but written in a way that you see why she does what she does.

This is not my typical thing at all, you know? I know you know. And yet, I loved it. Totally different than anything I've read, this was disturbingly 'real' in terms of being her backstory. You made her layered, and I think that was the best part of it. You made me feel for her. For Jane. That alone blows me away.

How kick ass are you? I'll skip the therapy in favor of snuggling with the Goddess of Darkness. Beautiful writing, you should feel very proud of this, love!
xxxMishaxxx chapter 1 . 6/30/2010
OMFG...What a shockingly unbelievable tale..I really like it! in a non-twisted way!:)

I really liked your depiction of how Jane enjoyed inflicting pain on was THE ONE THING that made it truly hard to identify with the young, abused and tormented girl who was Jane, how her father hit them, how she had to look out for Alec after his father brutally beat him, how she had to stand trial for being a witch, and how she was burned at the stake at the age of fourteen..Its sad.. I really liked how you showed her bond with her brother Alec, how their father had made them inseparable allies...

And I liked that they were burned at the was all so surreal..and medieval..for the Evil Twins to be burned at the stake, and to be called thus even before their transformation..

But the dark violent part...errr...totally deserves an M rating! Oh God, all the torture Jane inflicted..and it gave her a warm, fuzzy feeling...eeekkk..sick!

But very well-written, and about such a character too.. Great job!:)
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