Reviews for Becoming Jane
Kelsey chapter 1 . 11/30/2009
This was FABULOUSLY DARK. M. Interesting angle on Jane that I had never before considered what with her past.. :D I enjoyed the read immensely
retrogradation chapter 1 . 11/28/2009
as much as i hate Jane, and i loved bella, i have to say, this was really really well written and i loved it.
mens rea 01 chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
You are one sick, sadistic, and twisted chick. And I think I love you.

That was AWE-MAZING! I loved the darkness and detail. I love how you made Jane so sadistic, yet her background of growing up with an abusive father and the undying love for her brother makes you feel sympathy for her. It's like you almost understand why she ended up the way she did.

Anyway, I love it and I hope you continue to write! You blew me away!
loss4words chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
This is TRULY amazing. We all know that Jane is quite sadistic and I have always wondered what has made her so cruel and hateful. Your version has me wondering if Jane would have turned out differently had her father not been so horrible!

Well done is not enough, but I am at a loss of expressing how well written and thought out this was. Great job!
Starshinedown chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Wow. Frightening, excellently written, and disturbing to read. I'm sorry I missed the first time writer challenge so I can't vote for this one.

An great (if violent) addition to the fandom! Thank you for sharing!
RicktheCriDic chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
After reading this story I'm convinced that LoreliD is an undiscovered Talent, who will be undiscovered no longer! LoreliD has a great gift for crafting words to gruesome details. My skin crawled when she was describing the burning stake and the sisters demise. Quality Work to be sure! Great piece!
ahizelm chapter 1 . 11/23/2009
I'm so glad the indies challenge is over, because now I can review!

This is an absolute gem! Every detail - from Jane's story to her manner of speech to the way the townspeople behave - is spot on. I had every intention of writing up a very long, somewhat intense write up on this one shot, but time got away from me (and the Fandom Gives Back Auction happened).

As a new author, the fact that you took on canon details, writing horror AND using a little known character (with so much potential) is absolutely amazing.

Thank you for taking on an underutilized, underdeveloped character from the Saga, and expanding her persona as much as you did with this piece. If you care, I'll be posting my rec for you to my live journal account just because, and you can see your information on the Indies page at present.

Fantastic job.
Nick chapter 1 . 11/18/2009
This was an excellent story about Jane. Seeing as I have not read the Twilight series, this story has inspired me to read the Twilight series and left me craving to learn more about Jane. My only critique is that I felt the story was a little rushed, but obviously due to time constraints and the word limit, it would be impossible to include everything into the story. Based on the limits of the contest, I feel this story is one of the best I have ever read. Excellent job! -Nick
Vamp Chick chapter 1 . 10/30/2009
Okay..I'm going to be honest.. I've never really liked Jane. Spoiled little brat! Something about her has always rubbed me the wrong way.

That being said I have to give you kudos for this story. It made me warm up to her a little... I almost feel remorse for her.. Almost..

Great story.. keep up the good work...
Reavera chapter 1 . 10/29/2009
That was beautiful. I truly enjoy Jane's character. She fascinates me. Thank you very much for such a well written account of her story.
Twihard103 chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
OMG? are you Jane? :) Your storytelling is superb. It felt like you were there.. Inside Jane's head through-out the entire tale. I'd love to see you take a stab at an entire book dedicated to the Voluri. Good luck. I think you've really got something here.
Your 1 Fan chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
I'm not the biggest Twilight fan, but I can tell you this story is Spooky-Good! I had no idea Jane was so scary - you wouldn't have been able to tell from the movies! Great Fan-Fic! Keep up the good work ~ Love ~
TheHeartOfLife chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
Man, this was so twisted - and I mean that in the best way possible. Your characterization of Jane is perfect. She's completely depraved, and for good reason. I wanted to sympathize with her, and at times I did, which I think speaks volumes to how you wrote her.

I must admit, the part where she goes digging around in her father's brain matter (oh, I just cringed writing that) totally squicked me out, but it just further exemplifies her nefarious nature. So macabre, and it really sets the scene for her interaction with Sister Isabella later on (which was brilliant and horrifying).

This storyline was so fleshed out and rich with details. I feel like it could easily be Jane's true history and slide right into the canon storyline. Really, really great job!
Desdemona85 chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
Great story! :) It's the first version of evil sadist Jane I love because it is simply much more complicated than evil sadist to even start with. She is dark, conflicted, has just the right past to make her a great weapon and the amount of love&loyalty to make her perfectly redeemable in all her actions(towards her brother and her saviour).

She is scarred and broken at so many levels and her 'morals' are at least questionable but I simply cannot bring myself to blame or hate her.

I absolutely love her rebelious nature and how she is inclined to break the rules.

I loved Aro's cunning yet definitely affectionate attitude towards his favourite weapon.

I honestly liked how you left the impression he was always in the shaddows somewhere ever since you have introduced him to the story, waiting for the perfect moment to make his presence known and use everything to his advantage. It's just what he would do!

And of course he would never deny her everything, especially her long waited revenge.

Great story, great writing! Great character development.


And great inspiration(I love Muse and Exogenesis Symphony and I nearly worship Edgar Allan Poe, so there you go!).
Maria Ivy chapter 1 . 10/23/2009
The flow of the story I thought was great. It is very captivating. If Jane had a story to tell this would be it. I can really see Stephanie Meyer appreciating another author breathing life into such a deep character that she made not have been able to go into depth with in her own books. Also, who could not appreciate a little Poe flair! The Cask of Amontillado is one of my favs.
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