Reviews for Desert Flowers
DarkEcoFreak chapter 1 . 3/4/2013
Oh no… I think you've just made me start to like JakxSeem!
xxwriter389xx chapter 1 . 3/27/2010
i read this a while ago and forgot to review but i loved it so much and jak and seem would be an awesome couple!
Kusivirta chapter 1 . 12/12/2009
#1

I'm not sure if "false god" fits in here. For whom is the god false?

#3

Lovely detail here.

#4

I think the word "ass" should be changed. I see no reason for using a profane word.

#6

I would change this to either "miracle, caught" or "was caught". The current form is a bit vague.

#11

Excellent.

#12

A bit odd. I would rephrase this, I'm not sure how, though.

#15

This one feels out of place after #14.

#18

Another great one.

#20

Very nice.

#22

I had to chuckle at this.

#23

"refuses of betray" makes no sense to me. Should "betray" be in the "-ing" form?

#24

"to try as shockingly sugary and sweet" means that Jak tried it, being shockingly sugary and sweet himself. This makes no sense to me. Is this a typo?

#26

"writ" should be "written", right? Otherwise, I like this one.

#27

Using "She pushed him" twice feels like a bit too much.

#30

"blessedly" is a very odd word, I would use something else.

#39

I'm not sure what you're trying to express with the word "unknowingly". Is Jak playing unknowingly, or Seem smiling without Jak knowing?

#44

I wouldn't use angels in the J&D universe.

#47

"milkbone"? "moonflesh"? Uh... These feel quite corny.

#48

I like this.

All in all, I enjoyed reading this. Jak/Seem is always refreshing to read.
Gishin Jal chapter 1 . 10/25/2009
Very cute. I agree completely. There is a seriously lacking support of the Jak x Seem pairing. My personal favorites of this challenge would be #7, #11, and #46.
Jamoo34 chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
Simply put: Wonderful.

I loved every one of the setences to you put out, I really wish that you could do more!
the masochist and the sadist chapter 1 . 10/24/2009
i think this is, simply put, amazing if I do say so myself