|Reviews for Eternal Nightmare|
| Shawna chapter 1 . 7/24
Great Alec/Bella story. Please continue this story! I love what I've read so far and am dying to find out what happens next! This story has a lot of potential and still has lots of room to work with as a novel-length story. The way you ended it also leaves a lot of unanswered questions that are in dire need of answers. For instance, Alec told Bella that he's not a completely heartless monster and that he's not as evil as she thinks he is. Dose this mean that Alec has a soft side hidden somewhere deep inside just waiting to come out? Could Bella be the one to bring it out of him? Can Bella's presence change him from evil to good? If he did change to good, how would the rest of the Volturi (Jane especially,) react when they find out she had changed him? Would Bella and Alec eventually fall in love? How would their new love for each other effect the Volturi? If they do fall in love, would their be consequences? If so, what would they be? Would it mean death for them both? Would escaping the Volturi be the only way they could be together? If they did escape, would Aro send out search parties to find them, forcing them to be constantly on the run? Would Alec and Bella be forced to over-throw the Volturi?
Or, for a different twist, what if Alec attempted to bring Bella over to the dark side? Would she resist as hard as she could? Would she fight him? How would Alec react to her resistance? Would Bella eventually give in to his evil desires or will she continue to fight? How would Alec fight back? Would he bring Jane into the mix as a fierce reinforcement to try and force Bella's hand? If so, how would Bella fight against the two of them? Would she even be able to? This story has soooo much potential and there are sooooo many different directions this story could go! I HIGHLY suggest you consider continuing to write this story! It's really, really good and I want to read more! Please don't stop! Keep going! This story has been born and is desperate to grow into something great! Keep up the wonderful job!
| TwilightRocks22 chapter 1 . 6/2
| Kathryn chapter 1 . 5/15
you are a really good writer and i think that you should write more!
| Dreamcatcher360 chapter 1 . 4/6
CONTINUE, PLEASE I BEG OF YOU TO CONTINUE THAT WAS AWESOME!
| lottievolturi chapter 1 . 4/4
Please continue this story
| Guest chapter 1 . 1/4
I love this story so mutch. Please contnue this story! I love your writing style!
| Shawna chapter 1 . 12/6/2014
Great one-shot. Yes, I do think you should continue writing. I think this would be good as a novel-length story. This story has a lot of potential. I would like to see how Alec tries to make Bella love him and how Bella refuses him each time and how Alec reacts to her refusal. As time goes on Alec could start to show his sweet side that no one's seen before (accept Jane, of course,) and Bella could start slowly lowering her defenses and begin to accept him. I wouldn't have that happen too quickly, though. I would have the first half of the story be Alec trying to win Bella's love by force and be mean and Bella resisting him with everything she's got.
Alec could go to Marcus for answers as to why Bella doesn't love him and Marcus tells him that the reason she doesn't love him back is because he's terrifying her by trying to force her hand and all he's doing is pushing her away. He tells him that he needs to win Bella's trust by being gentle, kind, trusting and sweet to her. He tells her to show her his true colors and who he really is inside.
(The whole Volturi being ferocious, heartless, soulless, blood-thirsty, power-hungry, killing-machines could be just an act they put on to control the vampire world. It's not who they are inside and they don't want to be that way, but it's the only way to keep the vampires from exposing themselves to humans. You could have Alec explain this to Bella.)
Marcus tells Alec to tell Bella about his and Jane's past, but not to rush it. He tells him to give her time to adjust to her new situation.
Alec agrees and tries to be nice to Bella, but Bella, still being terrified of him, continues to push him away. One day, Alec decides to tell Bella about his and Jane's past. He tells her about their human lives, their powers as humans, them being wrongfully accused and burned at the stake because of their powers as humans, Aro rescuing them from the stake and turning them into vampires, ect.
In the story Alec tells to Bella, you could also have him say something of he and his sister having their powers as toddlers, but they weren't yet developed enough to be noticeable by humans. As they got older, their powers became more pronounced and noticeable to the people in their birth home-country, (England.) People tried to kill them, but their parents rushed them out of England to Turkey.
They were safe in Turkey for a couple years, but some kids in school started to bully and physically abuse their best friends and Jane and Alec used their powers on the bullies to protect their friends, but in doing so, they exposed themselves and their powers were soon reported to the church who tried to come after them.
They move again to Russia( I would have Alec and Jane be at least six or seven at this time,) and they are safe for a few months before their powers are once again exposed, forcing the family to move again, this time to Paris.
They live in Paris until they are nine, their powers are once more exposed to the community and they flee once more to Italy. The twins and their family are safely hidden for four more years. But when the twins turn twelve, their powers become more noticeable, dangerous, and frightening than ever before and this time there's no escape. The church people come, break down their door and steal them from their parents, put them on trial and burn them at the stake.
Alec tells Bella that their powers manifested even more while burning. He tells her how Aro rescued them, brought them to Volterra, and turned them into vampires. He tells her how their powers became heightened as vampires. He tells her that the first time they used their powers as vampires was when Aro made them both angry by not allowing them to go outside, because of their wild, new-born stage.
Jane gets angry and, without realizing it, unleashes her gift on Aro and makes him fall to the ground in pain. Ciaus leaps forward at Jane to stop here from hurting Aro, but Alec, in a panic that his sister could be hurt, uses his power to cut off Ciaus's senses and halt him in his tracks and keep him from harming Jane. Both twins are shocked and scared of their new powers.
Alec tells Bella that they refrained from using them as best they could in the beginning and flat-out refused to use them to torture people for Aro's amusement. Several times, Alec and Jane try to stop Aro, Marcus, and Ciaus from murdering both humans and vampires weather they were guilty of breaking the law or not and always got a harsh tongue-lashing and a beating from Ciaus for disobeying their orders or trying to help the guilty party escape punishment.
Finally, Ciaus's out-bursts and harsh punishments became so terrifying and painful, that Alec and Jane, with great remorse and reluctance, hardened themselves to the out-side world and forced themselves to at least act cold and heartless whenever they were around Ciaus or they were performing one of Aro's brutal missions. Alec says to Bella, they don't exactly like it, but that's the way they have to live if they're going to survive in the Volturi.
Bella asks him if he and Jane ever considered just leaving like Carlisle did and Alec says they have considered it a few times and even tried it twice, but both times they were caught and so harshly punished, that after the second attempt and punishment, if the thought of escaping ever came to their minds, they'd think twice of the consequences if they're caught, before risking it again.
Bella says she's sorry about everything that happened to him and his sister and Alec smiles and says it's okay. He tells her he knows being separated from her family has been hard on her, but tells her to think about what he's told her and to consider joining the Volturi as a vampire. Bella agrees to contemplate on it and Alec leaves.
So, what do you think? Do you like my ideas? Will you please consider using my ideas in your story? It'd make my day if you did! Please continue!
| camille chapter 1 . 11/18/2014
j'adore cette fiction pourrait tu mettre si te plait j'adore
| Guest chapter 1 . 11/8/2014
I would love for you to pick this back up again
| Khyharah chapter 1 . 9/26/2014
Hmm I liked this. Wicked Aro always makes me smile and slightly wicked Alec is indeed intriguing :) but for some reason I can't feel bad for Bella. I don't know why though. Maybe cuz I have always found her to be a bit weak or because she still feels like she's "cheating" on the man who abandoned her. No matter what that didn't fly with me (I'm not an Edward fan lol). Anywho I did enjoy this. I would love for Alec to come pin me to the bed, no incubus powers needed ;)
| gez lutz merrygold chapter 1 . 9/21/2014
Update pls n make the cullens in this story pls but don't kill them xxx
| The Ice Goddess chapter 1 . 6/22/2014
Please continue this! The incubus is a new take and I really want to see where this will lead to! I wish for smut! Pwease? *puppy dog eyes*
| blinddivinity chapter 1 . 4/28/2014
Please, please continue it! I love it so far. Beautiful. There are a lot of Bella/Alec fics-but not enough well-written ones. Love it.
| Tzintzuntzan chapter 1 . 2/28/2014
Interesting, please write more please.
| Asmodeus Black chapter 1 . 1/3/2014
Please please update soon! I love it