|Reviews for Out of the West|
| hga chapter 53 . 3/17
Yep, Chekhov's Miko strikes again, this time very possibly joining the main game! And, I don't think it'll be quite as simple as shutting off Harry's heart and I guess blood flow for N seconds (e.g. no trying a heart-lung machines).
I liked the philosophical bit about Leo vs. this random uncle.
| hga chapter 52 . 3/17
Good path for Aimi, sort of what I speculated on.
Note there's *lots* more in it for the emergents to support Team Harry: at the start of this story, they didn't know squat about the Wizarding World, had to send Leo on a very dangerous reconnaissance just to get a few crumbs. Now, thanks to the ties they've build, they were able to figure out that one of their "assets" was actually a witch, were told how to best help her, and she's even attending the very school Leo looked at. Black owes his life to Leo 2 times over, his wife's life once, and he and their friends are grateful, and each side is doing very useful things for the other, again sometimes just information, like Occlumency for the sensitive empath, and each is learning a lot of useful things. Bottom line is maintaining this relationship with a sane part of Magical Britain is very much in their interests.
| hga chapter 25 . 3/16
Forgot to say about the last chapter: yes, the miko AKA "Princess" would indeed be a Baddass Normal (tvtropes) without her extra gifts.
As for this one, I don't see why they wouldn't pay Dr. Jones his normal fee and just use the blackmail to get around the ethical issues. You don't want someone like that unnecessarily upset ... even if they can read his mind.
And three guesses, the first two don't count, on who's going to disrupt yet another of Lucius' not so cunning plans...
| hga chapter 24 . 3/16
Grrr. It's unbelievable the Yakuza thugs would all have their weapons in Condition 3 (magazine in weapon but no round loaded) and HK's ergonomics in that era were awful (one reason I sold my HK-91), you have to reach all the way to the muzzle for the charging handle (which I guess isn't that far for a MP5). I guess we have to say they were operating under stupid Rules of Engagement from Tanaka, which was your cunning plan to avoid getting our favorite miko all blood splattered, that obviously wouldn't do...
Otherwise a gem. And, hey, Aimi (beautiful love?) might now be considered sufficiently damaged goods for the locals that her father will set her up with a certain Knight he knows can be trusted...
| hga chapter 22 . 3/16
Heh heh, there is an applicable Chekhov's Miko rule in this story!
And, yeah, I can totally see this scenario, but it's hard not to imagine the conspirators getting swamped. The leak of the secret of the emergents to a "Normal" of very malintent threatens every emergent in the world, and especially with the links Kato Daisuke has forged it's hard to imagine them not making a Maximum Effort to fix this.
| hga chapter 10 . 3/15
Very, *very* clever. You've found a perfect vector for our hero to get into/further learn about the Wizarding World, which is reasonably plausible.
And, you know, is there a Chekhov's Miko rule like his Chekhov's Gun one _? Pity if that vignette stays a one-off.
| GenetiX23 chapter 15 . 2/24
Luna is the best.
| Sdarian chapter 65 . 12/15/2013
This was a nice read. Good job.
| Anamorphus chapter 33 . 11/2/2013
Sorry, that I only reviewed this Chapter up to now, but I could not stand that horrible translation.
Here is my translation as a native german speaker:
Niemand kommt lebend raus.
Oh Hölle, was zur Hölle. (If "Hölle" doesn't work (looks strange) try "Hoelle")
Es ist an der Zeit, gefährlich zu werden. (as above, try "gefaehrlich" if there are some glyphs)
I don't like the translation of the second Row, but I don't get the whole meaning of the poem?
I searched for short german poem I could translate to german with google to show you how horrible it is.
Bleibe niemals liegen,
wenn du dich am Boden wälzt!
Einmal wirst du siegen,
wenn du nur dagegenhältst!
Keep never lie,
if you circulated you on the ground!
Once you will conquer,
other hand, if you just think!
My Translation to keep the meening:
Never stay lying,
if you are tossing on the Floor!
Once you will triumph,
If you keep on fighting!
Regarding your story:
At first it was quite boring, that changed slowly, so by now it's interesting.
| AvidReaderRed chapter 65 . 10/19/2013
You have great talent, I love your Fanfiction and I believe you could publish your work (if copyright was not an issue). You have great potential and I hope you never stop writing or deriving joy from the activity. If you ever write a book I would read that too.
| Ryan Chessman aka Crys chapter 65 . 10/2/2013
Quite a world you created, there. If the entire AGER world is your creation, you may want to seriously think about writing a real novel about it and trying to become published.
Heck of a story. Thanks for sharing.
| OzymandiasVolt chapter 31 . 9/17/2013
The obnoxious character bashing has made it impossible for me to take this story seriously at all. If you don't like a character, show why their negative character traits are a problem IN-CHARACTER. If you have to completely change their personality and make them act like a cartoonishly unpleasant and morally empty person to make them look bad, then there's something wrong with you, not them. You can't do blatant character bashing AND have the story be serious, because the result is inherently absurd. It's frustratingly common in this fandom, and it's a lazy and thoughtless writing habit that people really need to grow out of.
| kildar2010 chapter 65 . 8/4/2013
damn this a truly unique fic
i hope you could expand the epilog into a sequal but its still interesting
| madbrad chapter 65 . 7/19/2013
Well. A bitter sweet sort of ending, what with Leo dying so early, Liz fairly young, and question marks abounding - would a disembodied AI really 'be' Liz? Alive? Ditto for Leo. And it wouldn't really be the 'real' Leo.
Other questions to which I wouldn't mind an answer from the author, if you don't mind - what was the 'huge, very odd looking lion cub'? Sorry if I'm stupid, reading a story in chunks, I've found, isn't the best way to retain the optimum knowledge about a story. An about-to-be-reincarnated Leo?
And did Leo die in that September 14, 1999- Chihuahua, Mexico battle? I wouldn't have thought so; Hermione was drastically understating the 'interesting question' about who would 'tell Liz' if that was the case?
And there was an interrogation a few chapters back, Leo and another Psi interrogating a bad guy, with a *something* curled around the interrogee's spine, controlling his thoughts. What was that supposed to be? Shades of a G'auld from Stargate!? Otherwise I didn't have a clue. That chapter kept me wondering for a while.
So. This turned out to be more of a 'Neville Longbottom' story than a 'Harry Potter' one (and neither as much as a Leo/Liz Green story). In the end you relegated Harry to the mere head of a 'clique', just one of a number of groups fighting at Hogwarts. While Neville was the Big Man who slew snakes and stood out as the wizarding hero. Interesting.
I loved the treatment you gave the prophecy, with Moody and the big bazooka. Heh. Well, it's not like Rowling knew what to do with her canon prophecy, at that, either.
I loved the treatment of the psi powers. Most of it followed from stuff I've read, but bits and pieces of variations - Leo having his Tk ammunition always ready at hand, the nails and the studs, was good stuff. And occasionally you'd write something that was brilliant that I'd never come across nor thought of. Like Liz warping the air to make a 3x binoculars. Great stuff!
Of course I can't finish this review without remarking on the fact that you did, indeed, conclude this story with a Harry/Hermione pairing. Yay Larry! I guess this means I can't abuse you any more for the H/Hr hints/teasing in your current works in progress. I *am* pleased that you kept them together. But I confess that, correlated with the prominence in which you finally treated Neville, the Neville/Liz pairing was even nicer.
Still glad you wrote the H/Hr though. :-)
Well, the sad part of finishing this story is that I don't think there's anything else of yours for me to read! :( I'll have to have another look. Cheers, thank you for your great storywriting.
| GenJordan chapter 65 . 7/8/2013
This was an interesting take on the story. Favorited!