Reviews for So Shall it Break
ZenyZootSuit chapter 1 . 4/10/2013
Great story! I loved the descriptions
krissy7490 chapter 1 . 12/6/2009
Dang, girl! I'm impressed! :) Very twisted and disturbing. Two thumbs up!
Renai Tsuki chapter 1 . 11/29/2009
Not that I'm surprised lmao, but that oneshot was beyond brilliant. By far the best I've read of Dean's time in hell. Well done! *bows and applaudes*
Lolgirl98765 chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
this is rly good! i luv ur dark style of writing. oh and can u update soon for ur other story kiss of life? i rly want 2 kno what is going 2 happen 2 eragon! i think he needs 2 get tortured more, ;)
Bitter Sea Light chapter 1 . 10/27/2009
This was a dark and twisted thing you wrote. ;) Probably the main reason why I like it.

You had only a few noticeable mistakes, but I suggest to look up the use of commas in dialogues.

For me as a reader, it was quite confusing at first; Dean should've been dead by the cuts and blood loss his body had to endure. When I read more, I knew it was all because he wasn't alive to begin with. That was quite a nice touch on your part. ;)

Perhaps something that could need a bit more work... Dean seemed too eager to cut that woman. Yes, I understand that he had been tortured for three decades and that would weaken a man but... It just seems odd to me if someone as persistent as that would just go skipping away with that knife in an intention to cause the same torture that he had just put up with. If he had been so cruel in real life and that was the reason why he was so willing to torture someone, show us. Tell us about how he lived. He must've been someone pretty bad to end up in Hell in the first place and become the 'chosen one', but why him exactly? Why not the woman? Or will she be turned into one of them as well?

All in all, it was quite a wholesome piece of work. As I mentioned, English was good, and if you ignore the little holes you have (they are in fact plot holes in my eyes), I'd say this was one good fanfiction/original story. ;) I'd strongly advise you to keep on working on the dark field since you do pretty well in it. I had quite vivid images because of the descriptions you gave us.

-BSL

'Let other pens dwell on guilt and misery. I quit such odious subjects as soon as I can.' -Jane Austen
67impalalover chapter 1 . 10/26/2009
Great job ! I really love how you wrote this! You should do a sequel!