|Reviews for The Crippled Lion (No longer Updated)|
| Guest chapter 48 . 8/7/2015
I don't get this update, you discontinued this story years ago. I checked, the last review was March of 2013. Seriously, you took up space for people expecting a story update to "answer questions"? There weren't questions I the reviews, opinions.
If it was a "private" role play than why use a public forum to do so? You could have kept it private until finished, then posted if you thought it was appropriate for fan fiction.
Once you have posted it to a fanfiction (story) site you have opened it up for reviews. If you didn't want feedback on the writing errors, style or to have to point out it was RPi g, the. Again the better choice would have been to keep it private or to a RP site.
Please don't post another chapter responding to this, or other reviews.
| Guest chapter 47 . 8/6/2015
I want to continue this story for you. I may just do that. You have so much potential, despite your writing and all. This is freaking fan-fiction. It's your imagination coming into words for our entertainment. If this story is dead, you left an excellent ending and I want to continue it. Give me a story line and where you want to end, and I will do it. I need something new to work on. Keep on keepin on. Yeah this needs work, but you're learning, and joint stories can't always work 100%. Love this. Would love to see it finished somehow overall.
| nanigirl15 chapter 47 . 3/6/2013
Well. If you ever do decide to continue this story I'll be waiting. It was really cool. I liked it. :)
| Me Llamo Berry chapter 47 . 1/17/2013
*sigh* this was good. I loved it. I don't mind grammar mistakes; that can be a part of the writing style as long as they're not fundamental ones (like not capitalizing names and whatnot).
And I thought it was perfect... there's not enough stories out htere that delve into the feelings of the scenes rather than the facts. Feelings are just as important.
| i-am-the-wallace chapter 47 . 1/13/2013
well... this is disappointing.
| ElSaTa chapter 46 . 10/21/2012
why did you not continue this story. it is great. please continue
| 1234321 chapter 46 . 9/21/2011
Wow, it really is to bad. You seem to have a potentially good plot but you push pointless scenes into pointless chapters. Focus on the good stuff and stop putting crap in between to stretch it out. Keep writing because you definitely have a lot of potential.
| blinddivinity chapter 3 . 9/12/2010
Great story so far. I have a question, how did Jethro get in to NCIS? Don't you have to go through guards or check points? I know that some dogs can open doors, and they obviously can go up stairs, but...
No one saw Jethro coming?
| lastcrazyhorn chapter 12 . 8/24/2010
This would go from being a pretty good story to an excellent story if your tenses would stay the same from sentence to sentence.
| hypercell chapter 1 . 8/11/2010
Just letting you know I LOVE all of enthusiastic Fish's stories, and I hope I like yours too!
| alix33 chapter 46 . 1/31/2010
"But firstly I’m to lazy to properly update every day." - "too lazy".
"and posting these things take to much time." - "too much time".
"I’ve decided to no longer proof read the posts so all I am doing now is copying the posts into individual documents and making each paragraph have a line in between them... it’s quicker and might ensure faster updates." - "proofread the posts".
"Rather then some witty chapter name" - "Rather than".
"I've decided to label the chapter with who's post that is." - "whose post".
"Perhaps I'll end up stopping putting who's post it was in the actual document and keep it just the chapter title." - "whose post".
"but thats cause at this point I'm just transfering... not proof reading." - "but that's 'cause at this point I'm just transferring... not proofreading."
| alix33 chapter 45 . 1/31/2010
"Not only because Jethro didn't want to talk but because the older man seemed to not allow a word in edge wise." - "edgewise" is one word.
"He had over looked that small important thing and now look where they were." - "Overlooked" is one word.
"the only one he felt should be blamed for any of this as himself." - "was himself".
"Doctors had came in to talk with him and what not but still no signs of improvement what so ever." - That should be: "had come in". "Whatsoever" is one word.
"He had been refusing to let the nurses help him into the wheel chair either." - "Wheelchair" is one word.
"Jethro gets himself all comfortable in the wheel chair and straps his legs in so he doesn't just fall out of the damn thing." - "Wheelchair" is one word.
"He had on a pair of slippers not much ence of having shoes on right now not here any way." - "not much chance".
"He wheels himself right over to the bed and hits the little break thing and looks the man over." - "the little brake thing".
| alix33 chapter 44 . 1/31/2010
"a place that should be quite and restful." - "quiet and restful".
"He would have rathered gone alone for his first drive." - "rather gone alone".
"But he was to smart to put his foot down." - "was too smart".
| alix33 chapter 43 . 1/31/2010
"nodding a little to himself before replacing it back on it's hook and sitting back down." - "on its hook".
"A percentage based on average people with average will powers." - "Willpowers" is one word.
"And you know as well as I do that he is a lot brighter to unspoken details then he seems." - "details than he seems".
"Simply because he had felt he was at fault for his friends condition." - "friend's condition".
"the he could himself." - "then he could himself."
"My friend felt horrible about what happened so he, to, killed himself." - "so he, too".
| alix33 chapter 42 . 1/31/2010
"Not even Ducky was safe from the stare that would bore whole through a person." - "bore a hole through a person".