|Reviews for Lightning Crashes|
| Katniss3885 chapter 1 . 2/12
I made it through a lot of your story but I gave up because it just kept getting more stupid. You seem to have a great plot in the beginning but something changed. It's like you are combining Vampire Diaries, Twilight and a bunch of other stuff. In the beginning your story seemed like it was taking place hundreds of years ago but then you started sounding like it is today. The way you speak of time doesn't make sense. Also, it seems like you start a chapter thinking it will go one way and then all of a sudden something is skipped and we are somewhere else. I recommend writing an outline before you start a chapter or a story so it flows better. Also, stick with the same time period. In the beginning you were talking about carriages to take her to the Cullens and castles and it sounded more like folklore then you started talking about running water and how today people think of sex differently. You are a good writer but you need to focus more and not jump around. Also, in the beginning you stated no one survived the childbirth of a halfling but all of a sudden when Bella is pregnant there were tons of survivors who could leave books behind. I liked the plot and I think you are a good writer but, I didn't finish the story because it started jumping around to much. Good luck
| campyrs chapter 27 . 1/25
Interesting story but I agree with you. The ending was rushed. Thank you for sharing your talent.
| feedmemore chapter 27 . 10/6/2013
Your story definitely deserves a lot more reviews and recognition. I've been reading in this fandom for at least 3 or more years now, and I just came across your story yesterday.
Thank you for writing your story down and entertaining us.
P.S. I first thought, giant viper? Really? But then again, sparkling vampires? Stone-like flesh? Not that far-fetched, huh !
| Twi-Mom12292005 chapter 1 . 5/9/2013
I have been looking for a good vampward to sink my teeth into and these is seemingly tobe just that. I cant wait to read more :) great job doll.
| M.M brooks chapter 27 . 4/27/2013
You left me hanging at the end
| shiroosh345 chapter 4 . 3/31/2013
man, i love your story!
although there are a few time-mistakes like the autodrive and a few other things, u write beautifuly, and i love ur story very much!
*going to read another chap, if i may... ;)*
| Guest chapter 6 . 3/24/2013
Ok. You are a very talented writer. I enjoy your style much. It's somewhat antiquetal, but that is good because your story is set in those times. Very good so far. Going to continue now.
| Guest chapter 16 . 10/8/2012
You are such a great writer and I love your story thus far. Absolutely beautiful in your chioce of diction.
| Mingleberry chapter 27 . 6/13/2012
I liked this but it had no true ending
| TheLadyKT chapter 27 . 3/22/2012
sweet ending, a little quick, but sweet
Thank you for writing and sharing.
| TheLadyKT chapter 26 . 3/22/2012
Without waiting for a response, Ta Mere and the huge lizard creature disappeared. but then Ta mere was talking with Carlisle about going to the house? Somethings wrong there I think
| TheLadyKT chapter 25 . 3/22/2012
wow you are building up the agnst. ack.
| TheLadyKT chapter 24 . 3/22/2012
Think Bella is kinda selfish here. She should be protecting the baby. ah well
| TheLadyKT chapter 23 . 3/22/2012
Jeez he is insane
| TheLadyKT chapter 22 . 3/22/2012
Interesting backstory. Aro is nuts