Reviews for The Pit
bookish327 chapter 1 . 11/25/2009
Oh, ebhg, this was so fantastic! Your characterization was excellent. I loved the way you wrote all of these characters! I like that Bella is so patient with Edward's social issues and awkwardness, and she doesn't look down on him because of it. It was a nice touch that she hadn't had many friends in Phoenix, so she didn't walk into school on her first day at FHS looking for popularity, thereby being insecure about how it would look to others that she was now a "band geek." (The last fic that I read was a BitchBella-type fic, and that made me appreciate your patient, kind Bella so much more than I might have already. I've always loved those aspects of her character, but I appreciated her in "The Pit" even more because of having seen the flip-side of how she can be written so recently.) I really liked that you wrote Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, Ben, and Angela also being in the percussion section with Bella & Edward. It was great reading about her having the built-in group of friends from her very first class in that school. (It's also nice that it eliminated the need for Jessica, Mike, etc. in this universe, since she sat with her Perc friends at lunch from the very first day.) I also enjoyed that Edward had a chance to shine with his musical ability, to have an area in which he felt comfortable and adept. It was fun that he was able to use his talents to teach Bella some of the pit instruments, which gave them another way to bond, rather than someone else in the story having the job of teaching Bella. Continuing the canon plot-point of their being lab partners in Biology was also a good idea because it gave them another reason to spend time together, even outside of the school. I also liked that Mr. Banner didn't yell at them for socializing during class because he was happy that Edward actually had a friend here in class, rather than being chosen last for lab partners and looked down on by the other students. You write those little moments (Mr. Banner being happy for Edward having a friend) so well and so subtly. I also liked that you wrote Edward as being bold and spontaneous enough to invite Bella to his house for the Star Wars marathon, without thinking about it possibly appearing to be a date and getting nervous about that. He just did it on instinct, and I enjoyed that whole section about Bella's commentary during the movies. I'm glad he didn't try to "Ssh" her when she'd give her opinions and her rhetorical questions while they watched, and his thoughts about what she said cracked me up (especially the ones about Leia not wearing a bra and Leia being groped by Han). It was neat that she also had insightful comments about the movies, rather than just enduring all of the Star Wars stuff because Edward liked it.

The writing style was great, and the pacing was smooth. The humor in this fic was great, too. The diseased organs in the STD posters from the year before and Edward's embarrassment at talking about them was fun. I'm sure that there were many other moments that made me laugh and smile, too, but I better wrap this up (before the grocery store is sold out of the things that I need for Thanksgiving dinner :-) ).

Again, great fic, and I voted for you in the challenge contest.
Shnuffas chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
mad4hugh chapter 1 . 11/24/2009
Aw. I loved it. Your Edward was so sweet, awkward, innocent and so just unaware. Him being a Star Wars nerd was so sweet

I loved how Bella saw that 'diamond in the rough'-quality about him and stuck it out. Her simple acceptance and appreciation of him for who he was...was just so genuine and full of compassion. She saw the awkward things about herself in him and didn't judge him for it.

Just loved them together!

Great use of Google BTW - the curent year's and past year's assignment were just classic in teen-anxiety producing glory!

Good luck!
Aille chapter 1 . 11/21/2009
This was rec'd over on the Twilighted boards and I'm so glad that I came to read. Thank you for the giggles.

I had to laugh at his boxers only because I dated a guy who had a similar pair (though since I know his wife, they are most likely gone now. LOL). And their first date was priceless.

I enjoyed the comic-con reference, I met the guy above at one. They are a lot of fun, but it's been a few years since I've been to one.

Thank you again foe sharing this with us all.
JerickaRose chapter 1 . 11/20/2009
Oh my god. You had me laughing so hard most of the time. Marching band for 5 years here. (No I wasn't held back a year. I was a music performance major in college. No DCI for me. Not enough money) T-Bones are the best. I literally fell on the floor laughing at the French Horn jab. I feel bad because one of my best friends and one of my brothers played horn and euphonium.

Drum line SUCKS and pit is no better. Screw them. Oh wait... the other brother played pit first year, 1st bass second, and quads third and fourth and in DCI. Shoot. Can't be too hard on them (though my low brass genes make me). Okay, I can't be too hard on them because I had a crush on the drum line section leader one year. hehe

My band was at least 150 members strong, except my freshman year when I was in JV band. Then it was like 70. Yeah. Uhm... those huge schools in the Valley of the Sun? I was in one. One of the best. We cried when we got Superior. Means we sucked. Superior with Distinction and all captions or go home. Yeah. We were one of those bands. Sorry.

Oh goodness the memories. Thanks so much for your hilarious story. Band Nerds FTW! (it was band nerds and choir geeks at my school)
Jcook169 chapter 1 . 11/18/2009
Great story!
staceygirl aka jackbauer chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
Oh I loved it. I started cracking up at Edward being an amazing xylophonist. good good job. I wish there were more.
hippogriff-tamer chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
I simply adored that..Nerdy Edward actually reminded me of a guy I really liked..he was not a band guy but he did love Star Wars... the parallels between him and Edward with Star Wars was just uncanny :0)

irishphoenix89 chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
Edward was so adorablely nerdy, I just loved him...
cacissej chapter 1 . 11/8/2009

Nerdy Edward is adorable!

I love Bella and Edward nerdyness! It's awesoem!

Good job! :D
blasphAmy72 chapter 1 . 11/7/2009
This was such a sweet story. I loved it so much! I am also a former band geek. Well, as "former" as we can be, right? Once a band geek, always a band geek. I met my husband in band - we've been together since I was 14!

All of your characters were awesome, but E and B were fantastic. I love the depth of the story, too. There was so much more than them just being in band together. Loved all the Star Wars references!

Oh, and as a former French Horn player - Emmett's comment about not having anything else to do with her hand made me giggle out loud.

Thanks for this sweet little story! Band Geeks FTW!
katmom chapter 1 . 11/6/2009
I'm sitting here grinning...this was GREAT!

I loved the pace of their relationship...the Star Wars stuff...

The GEEKINESS of the band kids...LOVED it!

And that kiss at the end? Priceless!

Thanks for sharing!

AvidAddict chapter 1 . 11/4/2009
hahahahahaha! The lastfew sentences were reminded me of a cross between Rob in How to Be and David who went to Minsk from FRIENDS. This was cute and it made me love Charlie even more.

P.S. Episode #3? (sorry, couldn't help myself)
NotActive1234 chapter 1 . 11/2/2009
I love this it was so cute. Please tell me that there is going to be more chapters!
a lil ray of sunshinee chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
he's soo cute...

lol good job xD
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