|Reviews for Beautiful|
| Guest chapter 1 . 3/6
Good so far but you forgot something ... Or should I say someone ... Ren ... You could say that both of them came in and fussed over that baby ... Like you already have but with not just shippo but shippo and rin ... ( is her name ren or rin ?)
| Love the puppy chapter 1 . 2/13
Short.. But great
| p.m.m chapter 1 . 6/27/2013
ah that is too cute.
| BloodOozesLikeAStreamOfRed chapter 1 . 9/21/2010
soooooooooooo sweet i was crying
| Inuyashasesshy4eva chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
awe, it was so kawaii ;)
| Bunny Lover chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
Aw this was so sweet.I loved should totally make more like this.
| Kags Sesshy Lover chapter 1 . 1/3/2010
This was so awesome.I loved it.
| Peaceful Dragon Rose chapter 1 . 12/10/2009
| CrescentMoon760 chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
awe! but what about rin?
| Mana-lover chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
that was very sweet, but SO out of character for sesshomaru. I believe that when people use his character, they slowly ease him into showing little emotion. But, just show enough emotion in kissing and saying he cares about her(maybe). I'm not saying, "Don't let sesshy open up" I'm saying "tone it down a lot" your character was a bit too open about his love. Sesshomaru isn't even that open about how he feel about Rin, his companion. In one episode she asked "what would you do if I die, Lord sesshomaru" he had a slightly panicked look on his face. More emotion than we ever see on sesshy. He said "Rin, you shouldn't think about such thinks" ... or something along those lines. So tone the emotion down. That's all I'm asking. Because our beloved Sesshomaru doesn't have that much emotion. OK?
| colouredblossom chapter 1 . 10/29/2009
Naww thank you girlie! *hugs*
It was an adorably sweet story, I loved the ending and I can definitely see improvement, like I said, you will grow in your ability to write the more you try ;P
| presleybue chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
Awe, this is the sweetest story ever!
| Sesshy Supper Fan chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
This has to be your best one shot ever.
| Anime Fan chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
Loved it. It was awesome
| XxbigT-N-LilGxX chapter 1 . 10/28/2009
...Er...well the story was sweet enough to rot your teeth but that was part of the problem.
First of all when you write a story, narrtion isn't done in the first person and starting every sentece with 'I' becomes tedious.
Second, your use of spell check is apparently non exsistant. Your grammer is nothing to celebrate either. But im not sayin a few spelling mistakes
is the end of the world, just read over your work aloud before you post.
Third if you read the manga or watched the anime, then the sesshoumaru that we both saw were two different people. Because sesshoumaru whether he love/mates/marries Kagome would never be so 'pronouced', (thats how you spell it) in his affections and if he was it would only be in private.
I'm not sayin that you can't mould his personality a bit, it's fanfiction, but keep it beleivable otherwise you may as well just make a completely new character.
I can point out alot more wrong with your post but I'm sure if you read it yourself you will see what I mean.
Im not flaming your work, I dont flame, but I hope you take it as constructive critism.
Best advice I ever recieved was to read your work aloud before you say your finished.
Good luck in your future fics.