|Reviews for Losing my mind|
| Redline57 chapter 1 . 3/25/2013
This was really short but...also the happiest and sweetest fanfic I've read in a very long time. Awesome job, thanks for writing this!
| Jesse the Storyteller chapter 1 . 2/9/2013
Awwww 3 This is super sweet! :D
| BlueCrackers chapter 1 . 6/13/2011
Where do I start?
Grammar, punctuation, spelling, literacy... They all need to be worked on...! It's not good if the reader can't understand the story..!
Although this story could be understood, it's just the literacy..! It bugs me to death..!
I also felt like the story was fairly rushed, as in, kind of blunt as of what was happening.
Also, don't forget capitals! Capitals, I say! Grammar is my life (not really, but it's an important part of it!)!
Please use propere spelling too! 'U' is unacceptable! 'You' is much more nicer.. And more elegant.. And.. And.. Stuff..
Sorry. Just wanted to add that somewhere in this review. Cravings. They're stupid..
Other than that, (and ignoring the small bit of random up there) I'd say it's a pretty okay fic. A bit more work at your skills and you should be fine!
| Ordile chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
A bit blunt and emotionless in a lot of parts. I don't feel like giving you constructive critiscm so let's just say you did an okay job. Not the best, but not the worst either. :) Is this story complete? :0
| jquackers chapter 1 . 12/14/2009
I'd say the very first thing you need to work on before you even think about continuing writing ANYTHING is your spelling and grammar. Please learn to respect the English language by proofreading and editing before publishing your works.
After that, you should work on putting emotion into this. It was way too blunt, especially for a storyline as emotional as Girl Friends.
And also, this feels really typical. You could think of a unique flair to spice it up and make it less cliche, and more interesting.
| Jennayees chapter 1 . 11/6/2009
lol the first chapter would of been nice if it was longer but ehh...lol still good...
hope you update soon man _
| YouDontHave2Know chapter 1 . 11/3/2009
Nice, but a bit too cliched.
Like you set the story well, but i couldn't feel much emotion.
From the manga there was alot of emotion. Continue writing, but write with the heart. It's the way a reader can connect to its writer :)
| Sir Quacksalot chapter 1 . 10/30/2009
I would have to say work on grammar and spelling. 'I' should be capitalized. 'u' is spelled of sentences should be capitalized. Remember apostrophe in contractions such as don't and I'm. The story can use more content, such as plot and detail, as it seems to be lacking. Also another grammar rule is that you always indent a new paragraph.
Now onto the good points(which is not easy to assets do to lack of content). You seem to be accurate to the manga and don't go off into tangents. You understand to start a new paragraph after dialog. Try hard to improve and I want to see more story.
Good job though on your first fan fiction.
| Ranmaru chapter 1 . 10/29/2009
I love the way you write, and picking up from the latest chap is perfect, please continue!
XD I check this page everyday hoping somebody would make a good fanfiction of Girl Friends, this is your first fic? it's very good for a firt timer, but it's short, however you were true to the characters, I'm trying to predict the way mari would react myself XD yours is a good prediction, Please do continue this, I like your writing, and i'm picky ;
question? do prefer akko over mari, or mari over akko?