|Reviews for 30 Minutes II: The Gathering Storm|
| Tetris Ex Machina chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
| MeMyselfButNotI chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
I did not like this chapter. It is just a (very long) summary of the first story. To understand this story, I think a reader must read the first story. You cannot simply skip it by reading a summary because it has too many details. I can see valid reason for adding a short section to jog the memory of the readers and fans of your first story in this series. However, 8400 words for a summary is simply overkill. This really isn't a significant fault to which you should give much concern... it just kind of annoys me. But I think this is because I was looking forward to reading a new fic and I simply found a summary of your old stuff. Oh well. I'll stop complaining now.
Anyways, I did love your first story in this series and I look forward to reading new chapters for this fic.
| Keldin chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
I'm happy to see this starting up, yep, though, of course, for someone who has been following the 'fic, most of the information is not new.
Was it ever revealed (by Sensei) what the extra horcrux (that Voldemort used to come back the second time) was?
| messhnhs chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
Excellent story. Keep writing.
| Adran06 chapter 1 . 11/1/2009
Well, now that I've read the beginning of the beginning, I can hardly wait for the rest. Even if it was only a recap, it got me excited. I have been lazy about reviewing lately, but the first 30 Minutes was awesome all the way through. I can only imagine how good this will be now that things are about to be thrown into the public eye. Keep up the great work and update soon!
| Grochek1 chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
1 point of contention.
In story 1, chapter 15, Clarice was listed as a Ravenclaw, not a member of anther school.
Keep up the good work and lets see another chapter soon.
As to your writing style, you seem to lean towards the techbical. That is fine, it forces me to think about some of your plot devices.
Keep it up.
| Kimi-1973 chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
This is a great summary of the first story; and I am looking forward to the next chapter. Keep up the greet work.
| romulus lupin chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
And so it begins.
I must say, once again, that this has been a most fascinating and interesting ride - and the next installment of the story promises to be that, and more.
And really, what more 'perfect' day to launch the new story that on Halloween? (It's the morning of All Saints Day, 01 November, here in the Philippines; with the 8-hour time difference from GMT and a minus 12 time difference from the Eastern US seaboard which places you still in Halloween, your time) ... right on the anniversary of the day it all happened - October 31, 1980, Godrics Hollow, Wales, England.
Quite fitting, in a way.
I am so looking forward to see how things turn out in this 'alternate' timeline, where two of the key proponents (Dumbledore and Riddle) have no idea of what's coming to dinner; at the same time, the bulk of 'elite' British wizarding society also don't know what will come knocking on their door.
A few thoughts spring to mind (coming from the last chapter of 30 Minuters - One) and from Sensei's backstory ...
First, a 'small' error, I think. In 30 Minutes - One, Sensei mentioned Clarice as being in Ravenclaw, a year behind Harry; in this, she is mentioned as having gone to St. George's Academy of Magic in London.
Second, Ronald Weasley and Millicent Bulstrode? (rolls on the floor, laughing) I know, I know ... things have changed drastically in this alternative universe but still, the imagery of lean, lanky and freckled Ronald Weasley with the built like a brick shithouse Millie is a source of constant amusement, especially when one remembers this pairing from robst's "Knowledge is Power."
Still, an intriguing pairing - the rabid Gryffindor who hates anything Slytherin (as established early on in 30 Minutes - One) being paired with someone who is likely to be in Slytherin house ... unless both are placed in different houses from canon? Not likely ... and it may be too difficult to 'break up the team' as it were ... or rather, break up the canon-established house placements of our major and even minor players.
I mean, Daphne Greengrass and Tracy Davis have always, in most fanfics, been considered among the 'light' Slytherins while Millie is either sycophantic or neutral as opposed to Pansy 'when Draco-poo and I are married' Parkinson. Now, with five years of Watanabe and another three in the Weekend Warriors under their belts ... would they be as sycophantic and 'meek' followers of Prince Draco of Slytherin?
But that raises some interesting questions that were not dealt with in 30 Minutes - One. How did the altered timelines affect the Death Eater families? We have some indications here - Lucius, for example, being sent to prison on reduced sentence because he squealed on his cohorts ... which raises the question of whether Draco will be the same obnoxious, spoiled, evil foil to Harry Potter that he was in canon and in scores of fanfics?
Or will he be coming to the castle as Draco Black since his mother decided to divorce the french fried ponce that was his father and gone back to the house of Black? (Another plotline from various fanfics) Will he be set up as Luna's love interest ... or Ginny's?
I suspect that you will be saying, "Patience is a virtue ... all will be revealed in due time."
And so, I will be patient ... and hold onto my socks.
Oh, one last thing ... is there a seeming fascination with Churchill somewhere here? I'm wondering whether Ron's learning disability was something Churchill also encountered (or maybe I am confused) ... but the last chapter's title was, as you said, something Churchill said after the battle of El Alamein.
And, if I recall correctly, "The Gathering Storm" was a title of one of Sir Winnie's books on the history of the second world war. (Either that or it's the title of one of the National Geographic documentaries that have been aired off and on over the years.)
Good work, and looking forward to more.
And, oh yes. Happy Halloween.
| jbfritz chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
| RebeccaRoy chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
Awesome start! Look forward to Harry at Hogwarts!
| gms chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
Gotta hand it to you mate, barely 2 days since the 1st part was completed and we have another chapter to read.
| GinnyLover14 chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
Very good introduction! It'll be a very rare person who didnt read the first fic but after a lot of chapters its nice to get a refresher before the real story starts.
| filmyfurry chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
| minerdude chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
Great start, I love your writing and hope you put up your other stories that you have written soon. That said I would like to point out in ch. 15 of the first story you gave a completely differert backstory for Clarice, you had her quote - "Clarice Jameson was a year or so behind me at Hogwarts and in another House - Ravenclaw as I recall", and also implied that she was sent to Azkaban and only put the death tool at about 500, not "one of thousands" Please understand I am only nitpicking because these stories are so good
| Therio chapter 1 . 10/31/2009
A good start to the sequel. A refresher is good, for both new people coming on board, ws well as reaaders of the last story. It was good to see things from Sensei's point of view.