|Reviews for The Last Dragon Egg|
| Ulura chapter 28 . 9/13/2011
"I'm a so-ahhhhhhhhhhh!"
XD I laughed so much at this! I can just see it happening
| Rica chapter 9 . 8/28/2011
The last riddle was wonderful! And the Sphinx telling Merlin he must know all about secrets was great. Really well written! I'm excited to read the rest of this. :)
| Owl Watcher chapter 33 . 8/27/2011
I AM SPARTACUS!
NO, I AM SPARTACUS!
I AM SPARTACUS!
NO I AM-
NO I AM SPARTACUS!
Hehe. Sorry. Very good chapter.
| Owl Watcher chapter 18 . 8/27/2011
Ooooh, pretty sounding egg! Will the baby dargon hatch and show its cuteness face? By the by, it would be "salvete" instead of "Salve". Salvete is for when you are speaking to multiple people, and Salve is for when you are speaking to only one person. The lady was speaking to Merlin AND Arthur, so therefore, we must conclude, it would be Salvete. Great chapter!
| Owl Watcher chapter 4 . 8/25/2011
Wow. Morholt is a brat. I don't like him.
| Owl Watcher chapter 1 . 8/25/2011
"It's guy love, don't compromise the feeeelings of other guys!
Holding up your heart into the skyyy!
It's guy love between two guys!"
Love that song. Anywho, awesome sawesome story. I'll try to keep reviewing every chapter. Creeper Uther, slaying a poor li'l baby!
| Marcus S. Lazarus chapter 44 . 8/1/2011
Intriguing bit of work, all things considered.
The idea of the Dragon actually ASKING Merlin for help- aside from the old oath to free him, anyway- was a particularly interesting start to the story even without your ideas about how to account for the existence of the egg despite the purge, and the subsequent trip as Merlin and Arthur set out to find the egg was very well-described, with an interesting new group of knights- although Morholt’s attitude raised some questions about how he got that far with such a dismissive attitude to his servants- and some promising threats for them to face as they travelled to their destination.
The gladiator fight made an interesting twist, and subsequent developments as Arthur and Merlin found the egg and had to figure out how to acquire it were fairly effective, but it was after the introduction of Alizarin that things became REALLY interesting.
The moment when Merlin revealed his identity as a sorcerer was a bit abrupt, but given the prejudiced view against sorcery in Camelot I suppose it’s one of those situations where people had to form very black-and-white views on the whole situation very quickly (Although I still think you could have drawn out the Uther/Arthur debate about Merlin for longer than you did).
Still, the twist with Zalmon and the resulting dragon-VS-dragon fight was definitely dramatic, and while a part of me thinks that it was a BIT too easy to bring Excalibur into play like that I did like the ‘Dragonheart’-esque elements of the conclusion (Although I personally think that the whole ‘heart-sharing’ thing just stops the human being KILLED; I don’t think we saw anything to suggest that it affects the human ability to age).
Still, all in all, a very interesting bit of work; keep it up!
| CoolCarrot chapter 11 . 7/16/2011
I think I'll have to read this entire story again. I read it last year some time but have forgotten a lot of what happens. It's just so good. My favourite story EVER! Love it and this chapter with the body heat. It's very cute but not slash which I like.
Well done with the story! It is brilliant!
| Kageriah chapter 33 . 7/13/2011
| Caella chapter 44 . 6/27/2011
I loved this story, it was abolutely fabulous!
| AquaRibbon chapter 44 . 6/5/2011
Let me sum up my review in three parts:
THINGS I LIKED -
Merlin’s thoughts on icicles and frozen spider webs struck me as really beautiful and nostalgic. And shortly following that, comparing Merlin to a forgotten scarecrow was really fitting, nice choice of phrase there.
Charlie the stalker chicken was hilarious! I have to wonder if that chicken was inspired by the one who lived in Ealdor? Meaning, the chicken Colin/Bradley/Katie/Angel talked about during their commentary on the 10th episode of the first season? XD
The subtext you put in there about Pegasus’s having his own destiny was really cool.
The bantering throughout was spot on! It really made me laugh, or at least smile widely. I loved the characterization too, this really felt in the spirit of the show; cheesy villain deaths and all! XD
THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE -
I’m not one to be instantly turned off a story at the first hint of purple prose, but, “...his cerulean eyes sparkling like they were studded with diamonds” was a really over the top, and after that I found I had less and less patience for it. You had a nice balance going most of the time, but it did get too purple for me at points. This story had waaaaay too many adjectives placed there just to make everything seem ‘prettier’, or less repetitive. It really DOESN’T get repetitive when you call things by their real names you know. Save the fancy stuff for when you feel the scene really needs something more. Like, don’t describe common village horses heads as ‘majestic’ (especially when you go on to tell the reader that the village didn’t have any good horses for sale), or supposedly malnourished, abused loins as having ‘flaming’ manes. It takes the weight out of the words when you use them so freely. And I got really tired of reading about ‘cobalt’, ‘periwinkle’, ‘cerulean’, and ‘azure’ eyes. Or any descriptions of what the main characters looked like (milky skin, ash hair –which, btw, just made me think of grey, rather than black-) simply put there to refer to the character, we KNOW already. It’s different in dialogue, but, it gets old really fast in narrative (if it isn’t first person narrative I mean). It just feels like the writer can’t think of any way to bring attention to the people their writing about without reminding the reader what they look like, which is annoying.
I did think they found the egg way too quickly, and easily. I would have liked to see them search around and maybe go on a short wild goose chase while actually in/near Rome. They just randomly landed in an out skirting village or something and found it within minutes, aided by a suspiciously trusting religious guy. And then they were carrying it around in the open! Like it was no big deal at ALL, that was really stretching the realms of disbelief for me. XD
I didn’t think the battle made much sense, how were trees protecting the blind side of Camelot’s army? I thought people would want to stay away from trees and the cover they provide, to better their chances of not getting sneaked up upon. Also, why did they meet in a field? Surely they would have stood better chances with the defence of Camelot’s walls...especially with a great fire-breathing dragon to worry about...and most of the towns people were in the fight anyway. The women and children could have taken shelter in the castle...I think the battle of Helms Deep would have made better reference material than the battle of Narnia.
I didn’t honestly think the pacing of the battle was done as well as it could have been. It would have been much more dramatic to have a bit of Arthur’s POV when the battle was just starting, then Merlin’s POV while he was collecting the sword and doing all that stuff. Then some more of Arthur’s POV, this time getting into more heavy fighting and wondering where the heck Merlin is, then comes Alizarin’s POV, flying away from Merlin and then fighting the other dragon. Maybe some more fighting and stuff from Arthur’s POV, like the bit where he’s crushed by his horse, and then switching right after he spots Alizarin – back to Merlin POV, escaping from the sorcerers and confronting Evernst on the battlefield; Then finally Arthur’s POV again, for the explosion and Merlin’s levitation stunt. That’s how I would have done it, anyway. I felt quite frustrated reading it as it is, because I was wondering what the heck was going on nonstop. XD
(Also, the snippets of conversation between Arthur and his knights during the battle seemed a little stiff and out of place to me, like it was too casual an occurrence for such a violent scene.)
There were a few continuity overlooks I think (I’m not talking about the chains, since they’ve already been pointed out, I’m talking about more subtle things), like Merlin’s levitation. He levitated himself out of the well, and then again on the battlefield, why didn’t he use that stunt when he was cornered in a high place by the knights of Camelot? I know you wanted him to be saved by Alizarin, but, you’ve got to have at least some small mention of these things in the inner dialogue of a character for it to all fit together perfectly. Like, Merlin should have later wondered for a second why he didn’t think of levitation when he was debating on magical escapes. Same thing goes for the bit that describes Uther here “The whites of his knuckles shone through the reddened skin on his fists...” I don’t think Uther has ever been seen without leather gloves, though you might have simply forgotten that (also, Gaius isn’t Merlin’s uncle). I remember being confused as to when exactly Merlin/Arthur/Tristram got up and started walking back to the castle. All of a sudden Merlin was just being described as falling into step beside Arthur, when I was sure they had been crouched on the ground (or something) at the time.
I’m getting the impression you baby your characters too much. Things just seemed to be rather easy all-round for them. I knew who was going to die the second you chained up the knights in Italy, for example. It was going to be the ones we knew the least of; the least important (I don’t even remember their names now). I really felt that you should have at least killed Tristram off in the end, but you just petrified him, and killed Arthur’s horse instead; which, frankly, did not cut it in terms of loss in my book of realism.
I didn’t like your treatment of Nimueh either, but it’s commonplace enough for her to be painted as pure evil. You aren’t the first, and won’t be the last. *sigh*
And, err, how exactly did Merlin find it in himself to fall asleep on his stomach after JUST receiving several broken ribs? 0_0
THINGS OF MIXED FEELINGS:
That one part where Merlin said he had a bit of Irish blood in him was funny! Obviously it was inspired by Mr. Colin Morgan himself, clever. Though it seemed a bit of a stretch, considering you had already stated he was of French decent, and he would only know of his mother’s side of the family after all.
You always seem to open up a new scene with narrative observation and description, which is nice, but does get repetitive after a while. Switch it up with some opening dialogue sometimes! Or fights! Or SOMETHING different.
The scene where Merlin bares all (but not really XD) to Uther and the court was satisfactory. Not /great/, but I can imagine that’s probably one of the hardest scenarios to write in Merlin fanfiction. Uther’s acceptance and all that - I felt like it was a little too easy again.
Sorry for the super long review, that seems like a silly thing to apologize for...but I could have left multiple shorter reviews instead. Only I was too lazy. Also, the ‘dislike’ list is longer than the ‘like’ only because I find it easy to write constructive criticism on small details (I also hate gushing). I really did like this fic. XD
| Henna Gamgee chapter 44 . 5/29/2011
Well now, this is going on the favourites list. What an intense and enjoyable read! Loved all the Merlin whump, especially. ;). Great job!
| Lucifer's Advocate7 chapter 44 . 5/19/2011
Brilliant. The characters were written amazingly - not a word out-of-place. In fact, their banter was so well done and so perfectly them that I imagined the actual actors giving the lines. I couldn't have asked for a better ending, so it does seem well set up fo a sequel...
They make the perfect pair! Now if only I could find a friendship of equal humor and loyalty ;)
| SwordSpirit chapter 44 . 5/1/2011
A truly fantastic story - Well done and cheers x
| Hieiko chapter 31 . 5/1/2011
Arthur and Alizarin bonding is so awesome. I hope Arthur gets the chance to fly with him too. :)