|Reviews for In Damon's Head|
| Vineet Maheshwar chapter 17 . 12/21/2012
Yeah its great conversation between elena and damon,damon shows his feelings to elena and friendhood to rose...loved it
| Valkyrie101 chapter 1 . 12/16/2012
Wow ! This is really great. Please write more episodes
| Guest chapter 18 . 7/4/2012
i love it! please go on with it ;)
| FioraThePendragon chapter 3 . 6/15/2012
Love how you can get into Damon's head 3
| Bloodied Love chapter 18 . 7/7/2011
Plz write somemore. It is so good to read what is going on in Damon's head!
| my 2 guys chapter 18 . 7/3/2011
that was good keep it up
| Ghostwriter chapter 18 . 4/27/2011
Wow. Great stuff. You write Damon so well. Keep up the great work. Catch ya on the flip side.
| zozo42 chapter 18 . 4/25/2011
I always love getting your version of Damon's POV and I especially appreciated all the Bamon in there haha
| i love this story chapter 17 . 4/25/2011
I LOVE THIS SO MUCH SCREW EVERYONE THIS IS AMAZING.
i love ur portrayal of damon and the way he feels about everyone.
PLEASE KEEP WRITING!
| adeline mcintosh chapter 17 . 2/11/2011
I LOVE THIS CHAPTER! I really like the way this chapter was written, much more interesting because you didn't really know exactly what was going to happen next (because the flashback shuffled everything around. It was a good thing.)
I was really looking forward to this episode/chapter because it is alll about Damon. :) You did an amazing job. :)
| whoome chapter 17 . 2/9/2011
OK. I'll try not to come out harsh.
So first of all, I don't really like the idea of this story. It's obviously not very original, it's like 90% of the dialogues that we've already heard and 10% of your own words, not all of them about Damon's feelings. When I opened this story I figured, huh, who knows, maybe the author had a novel idea for this. But I can't really see the novelty in this; you did a good job describing the faces and reactions, granted, but we already saw all of that. And Damon's feelings for which I was waiting - you kind of limited them to minimum.
This leads to my second of all - the dialogues themself. About this I can only really say one thing: if you're gonna write them, at least write them correctly. There weren't many mistakes, but I found a few.
And then there the third of all, kind of the biggest one: what the hell happened to the tenses in your story? I mean, I get that an author can have just whatever conception he wants, but still! Sometimes you start the chapter in the present tense, then switch to past tense, then ooh! we're back to present - it's a rollercoaster, and not the good type. You even managed to pull off the tense mixing in one sentence, like here: 'She stepped towards me again, but my face remains like stone.' (There are actually many examples of that throughout the whole story). It's extremely - due to lack of any better word - unprofessional. And I'm sorry if I sound bitchy now - it's really not my intention - but this makes the reader feel like he's reading a story of a five year old. That is harsh, and I'm sorry, but you should know how important it is to stick to one tense and be consequent about it.
Fourth of all - that's actually probably your conception, so I won't hold it against you - the structure of your chapters is very confusing. One moment (just an example) Damon is talking to Bonnie and then another one he's at the boarding house sipping his whiskey. I found it misleading, but, as I said, it's probably just your invention.
And then there's the fifth of all. Grammar and punctiuation.
The mistake I utterly hate - I don't know why, I'm weird like that - is writing 'there', 'your' instead of 'they're' and 'you're'. (Of course only when needed.) I mean, there's a HUGE difference between one and another.
And as far as punctiuation goes: I'm not gonna be rude and say 'you know, the comas don't exist just to look nice, they actually have a mission to accomplish'. I know many people have problems with their comas - I myslef do - so how about investing in a beta reader? Who could also help with the tense insanity. It's always good to have someone fresh go through your text.
Also, the vocabulary: that could use a beta reader as well. I came across some mistakes like: 'there's no point TO' (it's IN) etc.
I think that's about everything I wanted to say. Mind that my goal wasn't to bring you down; on the contrary, as I read your story I realized there's a lot of potential going on here. I really liked some bits, and some of your ideas to present the events were quite innovative. And I know that this isn't exactly a site on which you come across much constructive criticism - or constructive reviews in general, to be frank - although I don't know if you can call my criticism constructive. All I know is that I decided to sit down to this review and point out the flaws no matter what you will think of it. I love the art of writng just as much as I love reading, so I couldn't go ildy by. But it's up to you what you will do of this comment - whether you'll start seeing red and decide to troll on me for the rest of my days on this site or try to work on the vices to improve your skills.
| citigirl13 chapter 17 . 2/9/2011
OMG I actually tested up! Poor Damon - haven't seen this episode and really looking 4ward 2 it
| stilletto101 chapter 17 . 2/9/2011
I'm loving the Damon POV, and can't wait for more! I'm not usually struck enough by fanfic to review, but I'm impressed with the way you've got the character down, but wth your own twist. I think you should be awarded a date with your favourite vampire in thanks!
| Ghostwriter chapter 17 . 2/8/2011
Awesome job. Love it. Catch ya on the flip side.
| Air-bear1996 chapter 16 . 1/27/2011
what about one for family ties what was damon thinking when he put that dream in stefans head?