|Reviews for Transcendence|
| lemon-of-the-tent chapter 3 . 11/23/2009
Haha, there's not much more I can say here except what I've already told you in emails. ;)
I'm just tapping back to the Kristen Stewart thing - I LOVE her! Acting is very difficult to master - and, lets face it, no one ever can say they HAVE mastered it; good actors still give bad performances and vice versa - and I thought Kristen is really good at being believable as Bella. :D
I never realised before how different people's opinions varied on how good someone is at acting...but it does seem to be VERY subjective. Stewart was better (well, amazing) in Adventureland.
Keep it up! Obviously, I'm really enjoying this - Can't wait for the next installment.
Love Annabella xx
| kiki-twilighter-ever chapter 3 . 11/23/2009
i really like this story. i believe that this is what Bella's life really would have been like if Edward hadn't come back. it's sad, but true. i love it.
| whitezcar chapter 2 . 11/12/2009
You're doing a great job with this! I love the Romeo and Juliet reference. I hope you continue writing this!
| MorganBonny chapter 2 . 11/12/2009
*likes this very much*
I'm assuming this is the story you mentioned to me and I like it a lot. There are a few little errors that your beta missed, and a few things that were a little confusing, but they're minor.
Overall, I just really like the voice you capture here. Not only is it very Bella, it also...fades back and forth, from pain to clarity in a very human way as the pain takes her. I also like the way you knitted certain details together and her opinions on the whole affair - very bleak and very unchanged. I like how her pain is still so raw - a lot of authors tend to skate over the length of time emotional wounds take to heal. You've got a very unique style of writing that, with a few tweaks here and there, could become something truly powerful. You have a...pure? way of describing things the way they are without sounding artificial or contrived and it's good. I do think that your description of the last five years is a little rushed, though. I'd like to see the events you describe, the wedding, for instance, a little more clearly, at least emotionally wise. Find some way to draw some of those scenes out, would be my recommendation.
What I like most, I think, is not only the depth of pain you have here, but how it's not just mindless angst. Your sentences alternate between grief and surviving, something that lends a very real aspect to your work. I have to say that of what I've read elsewhere on FF, this story is the most Bella of any of them. I especially liked the lines, “It felt like the very split-second Jacob slipped that ring on my finger all the joy and sunlight he brought back into my life faded. I recoiled back into the twilight that had filled my life since they left. Maybe it was the just the finality of that, the final acceptance that everything I had hoped for was officially gone.”
Fantastic job here; I'm honored you would consider me as a beta. Not sure what else to say, um...I look forward to seeing how this all plays out, 'cause I know something's got to happen. *grins* If you're interested in feedback/beta or anything, as I said, I'd be delighted and...yeah. *goes off to read some more of your stuff*
| hateboundheart chapter 2 . 11/7/2009
Your mimicry of Meyer's writing style is pretty good. But. I would say try to bring your own into it. I'm not gonna criticize the Bella never getting over Edward thing because that would be a very noobish thing to do. I have to say that the you portray a very good Bella. But please do us all a favor and don't do those dragging, late climax plots Stephanie had. I know you can do better than that.
| Corazie chapter 2 . 11/6/2009
I like your writing style, it comes through much more in this chapter than it did in the previous one.
| Corazie chapter 1 . 11/6/2009
Oh, that was shorter than I anticipated.
| Hexadecimal666 chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
This is an interesting start to the tale. I had a few of these what-ifs jotted down that never really got to the rabid bunny phase, but you've taken it further in time than I've seen so far. It looks good! Keep plugging!
| pixie freak chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
WOWOWOS O WELL WRIITTEN WOWOWOWOWOOW I LOVE IT SO FAR VERY BLEAK WOIWOWOWOWOWO AND POOR POOR BELLA SO SAD! UPDATE SOON AS PLEASE OR ILL SET MY ARMY OF RABBITS ON YOU OR SOEMTHING SERIOUSLY BRILLIANT! :)
| louisianagirl900 chapter 2 . 11/5/2009
I think you're off to a good start. I look forward to seeing where you go with this.