Reviews for Diving Headlong
Ithilwen K-Bane chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
Wow. I wouldn't have thought that a single 'fic could go from an annoying hanger-on to a real attraction. I suppose it helps that it takes place over the course of a few months.

What gets me is the idea of Edward not being mean to Bella. Of course, we don't see him around big groups of other teenagers until the end. Ordinarily, even being ordinary-nice to someone like Bella would make him a victim himself. While it's refreshing to see a bit of that actually portrayed, it does got a little easy.

"Disney Efron"? (snerksnerksnerk)

Typos etc.:

The fazed that means bewildered is spelled with an F and a Z. "Phased" is what water did when it turned into ice.

She wasn't "who" he thought she was.

Who's Jalice? If Jasper and Alice just became a Brangelina, then perhaps some intro would be appropos.
byhelenahandbasket chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
we were having a moment, like one of those damn Disney Efron movies, where the guy and the girl kiss in front of the whole school, but instead it was the pool and all the fuckers around me weren't dancing (thank god)

Perfect. Great story.
marigold123 chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
This was so good! What a great collaboration! Sweet and funny plot and so well written!

OCD Edward who is a lifeguard that refuses to go in the water. Bella the sweet self effacing woman who is totally infatuated with Edward.

I love watching Edward go from seeing only Cockblocking Bella to the realizations she was an actual person and he liked her. You see the conflict of his emotions as he is drawn to her, he feels sympathy for her then friendship. Loved the unexpected dry humping in the truck...LOL!

"...and I... I was standing, my hat was thrown to the side, my flip flops were being slid off, and I was jumping, falling, flying, dropping, crashing, sinking, tingling, kicking, thrusting, moving, shoving, and then bursting forth with a forceful gasp of, "Bella's with me." and finding myself emerging somewhere between the shallow end and the deep end, and no." Oh and I loved Cockblocking Edward going into the pool...for Bella...jealous.

Fun read! Enjoyed! Thank you both for writing!
ScienceGeek91 chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
AngelAtTwilight chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
I really loved this. I wish it were a long, drawn out story. IT was funny and you guys were excellent with the typical male POV here, and it was perfect. You guys should continue this, make it multi-chaptered. I'd love to see the school's reaction and whatnot. Just a thought.

Great job!

~Angela (AngelAtTwilight)
jennlynnfs chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
WOW. Just. . . I've read a few stories for this contest and this one was done so well. I don't know where to begin.

I love the characterization of Edward in this story. So arrogant and clueless, yet he managed to be nice for a long time.

I also enjoyed Bella's characterization too. I liked how Bella was seen as the nerdy, hopelessly in love girl. I felt bad that she was putting herself out there so much. And then when she had her break down, I felt bad for her then too. I loved how Edward had inadvertantly provided the change in her; to realize that she deserved more and that she was worthy of more too.

There so much more I love about this story; the build up, Jasper, the last pool scene, the lemony moments between B/E. It was all so well done. So nicely crafted. I really enjoyed this and thank you so much for sharing it.
LindyP chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
Loved it! Great work!

LindyP :)
Ivygirl702 chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
The two of you are magic together.
xq1227 chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
well, she owes him for all that cockblocking...
The Shampoo chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
absolutely loved this!
montannaleigh chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
ok. this...this...gah! this was amazing. I cant believe I could fall so in love with a oneshot. You guys should totally continue this story! lol ok well maybe not...I know you guys are both pretty busy already but yeah. I really really loved this :)
sneakygirl08 chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
To inversely paraphrase a cheesy 80's movie: She saves herself and he saves himself right back!
jmarie1999 chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
Awesome. Awesome one-shot. Love it. I know most people probably love the part when he jumps in the pool and kisses her but I have to say that the opening of the pickle jar was very sweet. I don't know why but it's like even though he tried to fight it, his baser instincts to help Bella came through early on. Thanks for the great read.
nikki 28 chicago chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
impressive. loved it!
milkmamma chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
.. and I 3 this story "with the force of a thousand stinky cab dry humps"...
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