|Reviews for Unexpected new life|
| Guest chapter 29 . 8/30/2014
Love it great story
| Resident Evil Lionhart chapter 1 . 8/20/2014
Hmm. Haven't you ever noticed that most everyone makes character speech a separate paragraph? Instead of: he started to speak only to be stopped by sam saying "can you put on some music bee while we watch the sun set", not wanting to distress sam with questions his radio switched on - try He started to speak only to be stopped by Sam.
"Can you put on some music while we watch the sun set, Bee?"
Not wanting to distress Sam with questions, his radio switched on...
You see, you have too many run-on sentences and it sounds bad, even if the story itself is actually quite good. Please either edit it or have a beta reader edit it for you. I'd offer myself, but there's a difference between being able to write in one of these boxes on any computer, and writing/correcting on Word/Works and having to save it to the computer. I'm not on my own computer.
So please, at least think about it? I really wanna read this story at its best!
| PrimeTime1217 chapter 40 . 8/19/2014
this story is excellent i hope you continue to write more things like it and continue the story maybe make a series out of it.
| Guest chapter 2 . 7/27/2014
| Guest chapter 1 . 7/27/2014
Love your stories
| kirara the great chapter 97 . 6/23/2014
BEST FREAKING STORY EVER
| Rosebud1991 chapter 97 . 3/7/2014
well have you thought of having bee show his own possessive side to the autobot and Will and epps. You had him goes "MIne, he's mine!" in front of Mikki so why not the other and have it a balanced relationship where bee can be an alpha and omega and so can sam? Just a suggestion though
| Lina03 chapter 97 . 2/17/2014
Aww...I don't know how many times I have reread this fic, and I still love it. thanks )
| anom chapter 32 . 3/25/2013
TY FORR PUTTING THE BROWNIES IN HAHA one of the funniest parts of the 2nd movie though i get the feeling bees the one who will do anything for an a from proffesor witwicky(if u dont get that jokes dbl meaning wathc rotf again and pay attention to judy at the college especially when she tackles/gets tackled by Ron then dragged into the car
| VKMP chapter 53 . 3/15/2013
I giggle for ninja lessons. Lessons you don't know you're getting when you are getting them...because they have ninja skillz.
| Uchiha Riddle chapter 30 . 9/30/2012
Ah, don't you just love Simmons? He's really snarky, got a bad attitude and ridiculously sarcastic but he's too adorable to hate! Plus under all that snark, he's really a nice guy who cares for his country.
| Scary-little-elf21 chapter 1 . 8/18/2012
I am sure that I am not the first person to make a comment on this but you need to check your grammar. There are things that you need to use other than commas.
Use a period at the end of a sentence, capitalize names and start a new paragraph for each section of dialogue. Those were things that really stood out.
I couldn't even get to the end of the second paragraph because I was so distracted by the errors. I would strongly suggest going back and fixing all of the errors in this story and then reposting. I want to love this story but I can barely read it.
| Guest chapter 39 . 7/3/2012
Trent is being used for the 'Con's experiments, isn't he?... I could be wrong, but that's my first guess.
| Guest chapter 36 . 7/3/2012
Ah, the Death Glare of Promised Pain.
Seems to be a new favorite of Sam's and now Bee's. I got to wonder though, is it because it's them or is because all bonded/about-to-be bonded pairs are temperamental and dangerous?...
| LadyLucifer94 chapter 1 . 4/27/2012
Please, allow me to be frank with you; the reason for this review is one of scathing praise.
While I believe your plot line to be a decent one; one of the few that appear sparingly on , the fact that every single paragraph of your fanfiction contains only one full stop riles me.
You need definitive tuition in grammar; or at the very least, a BETA to proof read your work and enable a normal person to read it without wanting to string themselves from the nearest staircase.
If one were to try and read your work aloud; while they may perhaps be able to do it without suffering a lack of oxygen due to the overuse of commas (,) in your prose, they would not, however, be able to do it without entering a monotone from continuous speech.
I hope you will be able to take my constructive criticism into account and continue working with renewed vigor.