Reviews for To Unmask the Sunrise
ZivaDavid123 chapter 8 . 4/17/2015
MarnieWest chapter 8 . 3/8/2014
That's not good! I hope she does end up getting better and maybe being able to finish her stories. This is really good and it just won't be the same if it's not finished by the original author! Give her my good wishes!
joejonaswife chapter 8 . 8/18/2013
im sorry that you are not well. it was a good story so far. hope you get a bit better. thank you so much for what you have written so far. many will miss your creativity. long live fan fiction. :)
rowan.catara chapter 8 . 2/20/2013
Sorry to hear this. Hope she gets better and I hope these stories have given her comfort while she's so ill.
Princess Moonheart chapter 8 . 1/25/2013
When will you finish writing this story? I hope she feels better.
Guest chapter 7 . 1/25/2013
please update soon, interesting so far
Princess Moonheart chapter 7 . 1/8/2013
When will you write next chapter? I really enjoy this story, though I hope some comfort will be given to Severus and love will be given to the new family.
Guest chapter 7 . 10/30/2010
I am very interested to see where the story will go from

here hope you update soon.
Griffin Raven chapter 7 . 7/16/2010
Wow...what a totally awesome beginning to this story, which has definitely kept me on the edge of my seat in eager anticipation to find out just what might happen next!

Just how long will it take Severus and Lily to manage to come to some sort agreement? Will Albus, Minerva, Severus and Lily, ever figure out just where and why they are were they are? Just how long will young Harry, remain free of his father's "hand meeting his backside"? Or will help from home bring the somewhat happy/unhappy travellers home? What is Voldemort up to, why has he taken possession of a muggle's body?
purefaith91 chapter 7 . 7/3/2010
Really enjoying this story and am looking forward to the next chapter. Hopefully it will not take forever for Lily and Snape to come around. They may be able to fight together with their son in the final showdown. Also, wonder if Sirius put a glamour on Harry when he was born so that he would not disappoint James when he found out he was not their child. Very interesting. p
newbee25 chapter 7 . 6/29/2010
um, it's after may 18th... you haven't forgotten about us, right?
IchigoRenji chapter 7 . 5/10/2010
more plz, this is a great story
mooree chapter 7 . 5/2/2010
please update!
LauraWinter chapter 7 . 4/30/2010
I'm slightly confused because of all of the changes from canon and sometimes I feel that you could describe things a little bit better...but I am intrigued and I can tell that you have a very creative and vivid imagination. I am interested in seeing how things play out.
The strangest part is, I was thinking the other day while I was reading some Sirius/Harry adoption stories that it would be interesting if Snape was actually Harry's biological father. And then I found this.
Zorra Reed chapter 4 . 4/28/2010
While your story is amusing and full of little turns and surprises, I find it to read more like a bad anime film, which makes it very difficult to take the story seriously, or to read with any level of true excitement. There is nothing wrong with some comedic twists to alleviate some of the tension and drama however, I believe your story is poorly written for the category you have placed it, and would better serve its audience under a different label. While you have the makings of a potentially good writer, you fail to capture the essence of the characters and their personalities, only brushing on the very surface and most basic ideals. You’re story is not well thought out and jumps about wildly from moment to moment, lacking structure and proper settings. It is my opinion that like many other authors, myself included, you rush from one idea to the next. This is a great gift but can be your worst nightmare. Take the time when you are finished with each chapter, or each idea and review it carefully. Go back and fill it out. Make sure your jumps are appropriate, clear, and balanced with the whole of the story. You’re story lacks the humanization qualities that are normally associated with angst and comfort stories. Also, you overlook facts from one chapter to the next. For instance, in the first chapter you state that Petunia is out of town, but then have her there the next morning. (unless I’m reading that wrong); there is just so much more you could have done with these scenes.

You receive many reviews, in part because people are strung up on the ideas you present (and face it, who doesn‘t like seeing Harry as the victim? Readers thrive on whatever they can get their hands on to satisfy their cravings.) But they [the readers] fail to properly review on your structure which enables you to learn to better yourself as a writer. It is through honest reviews that we learn to correct ourselves, and it is through the short reviews of praise that we’re inspired to be proud and continue our work. Writing should always be fun, but it should never be an easy task. We must always want to work harder at it.

I believe this story could be better if you filled it out with more detail and a stronger foundation. You would greatly benefit from a beta-reader that will be honest and insightful about your work and is willing to brainstorm ideas and fill in holes. You’re story has several holes. A tip when looking for a beta is to find someone better then you at grammar and at writing in general. They tend to bring out the best in us. In return, you should be willing to take their advisement under consideration with an open mind, evaluate the work to be done, submit a new draft to them once you have completed their first set of corrections, and be willing to change/add/or eliminate whole areas of your text during the editing process. I’ve taken my time out to evaluate and submit this in the hopes that it will benefit you. Weather you heed the advise or not, is up to you. I wish you the best of luck as you improve and continue to write. Perhaps if you ever re-rewrite this story, I’ll be more inclined to read to the end.
-Zorra. Flames Welcomed.
49 | Page 1 2 3 .. Last Next »