Reviews for Souls Entwined
Accelgor Karuta chapter 1 . 6/22
Losing a bet in factions brought me here
videogamenerd101 chapter 1 . 4/17/2013
It's been a while since I've read anything Takumi so I decided to check this out and OMG this was so hot. xD Some mistakes, first of all…

The brunette took one look at her drink and laughed. (When you're talking about a guy, use brunet instead of brunette. You also did this a few other times.)

"How much you wanna be she rejects them both?" Takuya quipped. (I think you meant "…wanna bet she…")

However, over the explosive music in the backround, no one could know for sure. (You spelled background incorrectly.)

"Hey, can I buy you a drink?" He asked. (When a word that follows dialogue isn't a proper noun, it should be lowercase in cases like these. You did this a few times as well.)

Meanwhile, Takuya glanced over to see a man talking to Zoe, whom looked very uncomfortable. (This should be "…Zoe, who looked…")

"You fucking asshole!" Jesse held onto to his injury. (Take away the "to" in this sentence.)

Jesse got up and attempted to strike him back, only to punched in the face a second time. (This should be "…only to be punched…")

Zoe caressed his balls more vigorously, though still gentle enough not over-do it. (There shouldn't be a hyphen in between overdo.)

Her sweet juices were like a drug to him, for he wanted every last drop it. (I think you meant "…last drop of it.")

Stupid Jesse… How could he just go up to Zoe and ask if he could sleep with her even if he knows that she's taken?! Ugh, I don't understand some guys… :P But I just loved how Takuya punched the dude's nose! That was totally epic, if I do say so myself! x)

I really liked the ending and how you eventually developed the story to get to it. When you think the story will end subtlely, Takuya asks Zoe if she's ready for stage two. xD I just love how you gave the ending a bit of a humoristic feel to it.

So other than that, I'm not totally sure what to say other than this was SO HOT! It would've been nice if you didn't use certain words so frequently and the sexual parts and other parts were somewhat more detailed, but overall, good job! :) I should really check out more of your stuff!
claire chapter 1 . 9/11/2010
eeww. that is just sick! soo sick. i can't believe you wrote that!
Deemci chapter 1 . 12/17/2009
nice...?
You don't need to know chapter 1 . 12/3/2009
Well I gotta tell ya. I may not like what you wrote on your profile about the divine, but even I have to admit that your fics are good. Personally I hate you, professionally, good job. I wonder what else that twisted mind of yours can cook up.
hEaRtBrEaKeR19 chapter 1 . 11/15/2009
It's pretty..umm...LEMONISH! Hehe, I don't know what word I can describe this story but it's co-ol, Great oneshot... Though it's not suitable for me but it's okay! -

Hope more of this kind of oneshots...hahahahaha...

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Seriously...
pika25 chapter 1 . 11/11/2009
Very good. One of your best yet. Really need stories outside of the usual stories we read everyday. I wonder if you can create another in their Digimon forms? They barely get much attention in most Frontier fics I've read these days.
dbzgtfan2004 chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
This is a good story. Please make some more. Takuya and Izumi forever.
Kyosuke Nanbu chapter 1 . 11/10/2009
Kyo here. woah... that was epic... It really tempts me...
gcleemon chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
...wow...just wow... that was umm alot more graphic then i thought it would be... and yes you mind is sick and twisted but hell that just means better fanfics - so keep it up
dingcs chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
O_O Whoa, uhm maybe I shouldn't have read this. What the hell is this? You ARE a damn perv for writing this!

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Haha, April Fools! I'm kidding. XD

Takuya: -_-; It's not even April

Me: *takes out a gun and shoots him* When I say it's April, IT"S APRIL!

Kouji: [sees Takuya spazzing] T-takuya... he's-dead... PARTY AT MY HOUSE!

Everyone: Woo! _

Haha, this was great, even though I'm probably young for this. I loved the whole beginning though. Jesse such an ass. What kind of person would give him their phone number so instantly? -_- Sighh, it's a good thing Takuya beat him up, now that what i call a bar fight! Right Takuya?

Takuya: X_X

Me: Er... oh yeah, I forgot.

I LOL'd at the warning, but it's true. Maybe I should follow it next time ;]

Excellent Lemon Story, One Shot mi-jagger thing. Can't wait for your other stories!
lanski12 chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
i can't see hopefully i'm typing right ,anyway good lemon even though it nearly ruined me eye sight, well see ya and i'll be at the eye docter
kojilover04 chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
cool ( not a perv) cant stand to see it not start with sex but owwell wrth the wait bye at school
Royal Court Jester chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
*cleaning the blood caused by the nosebleed* hey hello nice lemon I must say, I got hot(thats what I call imagination)

you're not a perv you're human as me or at least we look like humans hehe, I like everypart of the story and that jesse guy got what he deserved, glad you have some Takuya here's an tip for you man, play with your hands and her body _

that's all see ya later

fuck the writers block