|Reviews for Isle of Thorns|
| Redmarl chapter 1 . 5/12/2014
The first comment I have is that the prologue, whether intentionally or not, is somewhat esoteric - almost a bit *too* esoteric - for readers unfamiliar with the fandom, but the story is still followable and the beginning certainly grabs one's attention. It was interesting that you bolded "it" in the italicized section of the chapter; hopefully that has some kind of significance later on.
It might also be beneficial to mention earlier that the trio is on a boat/vessel. The fact that they’re on the way to an island is thrown in late enough that it almost seems haphazard.
Couple of specific things:
"appetites would have to be sated" and "both their needs would finally be satiated" sound too similar for the latter to really give an "oomph," which would make the line much more effective.
Also, "And, as a gesture... since arriving on the isle" is a fragment. Can be fixed by inserting "he" between goodwill and offered.
Otherwise, it’s a solid start to the story.
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 2 . 7/19/2013
Excellent still. You do a great job at capturing the setting. I can feel the ocean and the fog and the company; very lovely. You also do an excellent job at bringing the best out of every character instantly, and I must add that I am impressed at how subtle you are with Grace's accent. I also very much love your descriptions even beyond capturing the setting, breathing life into every bit of the story as if it were a movie. I still don't quite know what's going on in the Universe, but you're setting us up really well.
| MessengerOfDreams chapter 1 . 7/18/2013
("Diplomacy?" Ulf arched a brow, then shot a look towards the Vodacce, who was staring back at him with a smirk.
"Aye..." Grace sighed. Worry was already creasing her face. "...diplomacy.")
I like you already, Grace.
The most important part of a story is the setup and the concept, and how well you can introduce it and engage the reader enough to WANT to read, especially out here in no-man's land where no one seems to care much one way or another if you're writing or not. Needless to say, you did a fantastic job here, and I'm glad that I had stayed. I'm not sure what bloody reality or ficdom it is, but I very much like it already. It's authentic and you make it feel very realistic, as if you spawned it yourself.
The first part about IT and how prevalent IT is, very well written. I enjoyed IT very much. You shroud IT in mystery yet are still open enough to sort of give us a setting, theme and events. The opening conversation between Grace and the two men was also very good; it rolled well, it had character, it opened with strong characters and it expanded upon part of the setup. Of course, the closing line was a great wham line; humorous, defining and very sharp.
I look forward to reading more!
| ShadedRogue chapter 1 . 5/6/2013
I really like the introduction you have here, and it was great how you led with the dark and forboding "it" and the strange, and dangerous, man who seems to have made an alliance with it. And then you followed that up very nicely with the main characters so the readers know right away that they're sailing right into the path of danger. Right away you've established your hook to lure the reader in. I also really liked the banter between Ulf and Fortunato, and the good Lady MacKenzie who was able to shut them both up pretty quick.
I don't actually know anything about the game, but your introduction gave me a good basis on who some of the characters are, as well as some good background into what to expect. I thought you did a very good job capturing Lady MacKenzie's accent without over-doing it. Overall, great start to the story!
| Fictiondevourer chapter 1 . 11/3/2011
So you have it here too. Well what can I say but thank you.
I will wait for the rest on SB because your story is worth the wait.
A shame that but a few people have read this story but it is there loss, for missing this suspenseful mystery fic. Which comes very very close to Original work.
Please continue on.
| crimsonjoe chapter 3 . 11/27/2009
Nice start... I love a good mystery, and you've got enough interesting characters for an excellent story.
| Chris Myers chapter 1 . 11/9/2009
Oh, gonna love me this banter. Great start!