|Reviews for Something Wicked This Way Comes|
| tieflin chapter 48 . 9/10
I very much enjoyed this. Etna was great and I really like her and Harry together. Glad things worked out, even if the first 15 years is Lillith's life they were looking for her mom.
| Drax152 chapter 1 . 7/30
AVADA KE DOINK OH MY GOD LMAO
| SotV chapter 48 . 7/1
That was amusing. Never played Disgaea, so a lot of the background there went over my head, but you did a very good job keeping things understandable.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 43 . 5/27
Sooo... Has Voldemort been switched out by some Invasion of the Bodysnatcher shit? Oo
Is it a plot from some third party impersonating him? Oo
I'm totally confused.
I don't who WHO that calm man listening to muggle music was, but it was NOT the spitting, snarling, one-trick-pony named Voldemort in canon!
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 39 . 5/27
I will NEVER understand how anyone can forgive a person who does not show a shred of remorse.
Snape has not so much as apologised to Harry. For him to forgive Snape when Snape does nothing but act like an asshole and not so much as apologising in private...
Even IF he had to keep up an appearance in public, it does NOT explain why he won't effing apologise NOW, in the house that's under the freaking Fidellus!
ALL he does is verbally abuse Harry. And Harry's STILL supposed to forgive an unrepentant ass?!
Kinda makes me wanna smack Harry around the head repeatedly. With the biggest book in the Black Library. (Or in Hogwarts, if it's bigger.)
Might smack some sense into him!
What kind of moron forgives someone who DOES NOT REGRETT what he did, and KEEP DOING IT! _
Mind you, dumbledore IS a quixotic moron. I can totally see him push for it.
And Harry used to be easy to push around, guilt and nag into submission before he met his demon girl... so it's not impossible he would do that.
Heroes are dumb as fuck. That's just a fact.
If they weren't, they wouldn't be heroes.
I just hope the demon girl knocks some sense into him, and make Harry at LEAST demand an apology first. And for Snape to hold his tounge outside the classroom. As a bare minimum.
Kudos on Remus tho.
Masochistic SM is VERY MUCH In-Character for him.
Punishment takes the feeling of guilt away. That's basic psychology. (Or at least in the introductory course to understanding human behaviour.)
I personally theorize that houseelves have an overactive guilt-center in their brains. Which could explain why they keep punishing themselves even when their masters cannot see them.
Guilt and Shame is described as the most horrible feelings a human can feel. And if it is strong enough, a person will do ANYTHING to make it go away.
(It's likely also why dumbledore keeps guilt-tripping everyone into doing what he wants them to do. Manipulative old goat. No wonder his own brother hates his guts.)
My point is: Good job with Remus. _
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 38 . 5/27
Snape is clearly lying his ass of. He was a GENUINE Death Eater for YEARS.
No way in HELL did he not kill someone!
He only switched sides at the very end of the war. Until that point he fought alongside Death Eaters and Voldemort. And he LITTERALLY invented a Cutting Curse that could not be healed in any way unless you knew the counter curse, which only he had.
And that was in school. I suspect he did far worse things later.
The self defense with his father makes sense. But considering who he fought alongside with, AND that Voldemort trusted him and made him an Inner Circle member (that tattoo isn't earned by looking pretty) indicates he DID kill.
AND his behavior and mentality BEFORE Lilly was killed indicates that he also spent some time muggle-hunting with his Death Eater pals. And they WERE pals.
(Or mates, since it's british english. Lol)
Narcissa is perfectly In-Character tho. She really DO care about Snape, and she understands where he comes from.
There's also a chance she honestly doesn't know about the shit he almost certantly did as a Death Eater. Doubly so if you assume the wizarding world to be misogynistic.
So this chapter was a very good chapter. I just hope you plan to have his lies revealed later, and that you are NOT planning to portray Snape as some sort of do-gooder anti-hero in the rough.
He's an asshole through and through, a bully, and selfish to boot. He's also a killer.
While it can be explained and understood, it should NOT be whitepainted, or made to seem less evil than the man truly IS.
Snape is not a good person. But that's the beauty of his story; A classical Redemption Arc.
He did bad things, and he seeks to redeem himself by risking, and eventually sacrificing, his life.
But that doesn't make him right, nor his actions in the past any less bad that those of Lucius.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 35 . 5/26
How does 18 bitesize bites of food cause a stomachache? Especially when spread over 5 hours? Oo
(Assuming it was a sit-down event for the food part of course. Anything beyond 3 courses (soup, meat, dessert) is always bite-sized in my experience.
Well... had it been a fancy resturant, even the 3 course meals would be bite-sized. One dish was LITTERALLY served in a spoon, the whole dish fitted inside a normal sized table spoon, with artful sause-spills next to it.)
Huh. I guess bullies who tries to kill school-mates and set their close friend up to unwillingly murder said schoolmates is NOT considered evil enough for Hell.
Was it because he realized what it would do to Lupin, and saved Snape for Lupin's sake in the end?
I guess being a selfish asshole isn't quote the same as killing people.
Although I have NO doubt he's stolen numerous potion ingredients and other prank stuff over the years. The twins did, and they're far nicer and moralistic than james ever was.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 33 . 5/26
Huh. I didn't expect THAT ending to the omake. xD
I was sure it'd be more like the fanfic with Molly and Umbridge going at it in that one fanfic.
...the kind where you want to follow the twin's in hanging themselves (or maybe wash your eyes with bleech) cuz you can't live with the horrible, horrible sight.
And the mention of her ass did NOT help that impression.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 32 . 5/26
You did well on the Harry/Molly scene.
It would have been out of character if Harry was like he is in canon, but with Etna pushing him to be more assertive -not to mention all the shit he's been through lately- it makes sense.
At most you could stand to make him act less calm and rational and more angry and emotional.
But that is something you could benefit from doing across the board. Your characters tend to come off as a bit...not robotic, but perhaps sociopathic? Not quite that either.
You tend to have everyone be too logical and rational. And humans are neither.
(I have had at LEAST 3 different guys I told my halfsister to just ditch cuz her relationship was a burning wreak headed over the cliff the EXACT same way as the one before it... and she kept saying it would be "differen this time" or "I can fix this", despite all proof to the contrary.
And my usually calm and loving mom wacked me over the head with a pot lid cuz I was cooking at 3am when she had barely slept and had to work at 6am. (And instantly regretted it, horrified at her own actions.)
And when my brother got teased in school he threw a fit and tossed gravel at people like a maniac... which only got him teased more.
And a friend of mine who wanted to dye his hair and didn't get the color out of the tube decided to look into the hole of the color-tube...and SQUEEZE. _
Hospital and eyepatch for months? Yepp. /facepalm
Not very rational. Actually pretty stupid. But very human behavior.)
Maybe your newer writings have managed this problem. But if you haven't, it's worth working on.
If a man has a gun I guarantee that he will sooner or later use it to shoot himself in the foot. Or, as the tragic case have often been in the states: Shoot a family member at night, thinking it's a burglar.
That aside, this was a very good chapter.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 29 . 5/26
...How on EARTH did Luna's loving, all-accepting, easy-going dad turn into a homophobe?! Oo
I'm pretty sure that guy wouldn't mind if his daughter wanted to have an orgy involving animals, dead people and tentacle monsters in his own bedroom!
At most he'd tell her to use protection. Maybe threaten any lover she had to not hurt his precious daughter.
...this is really, REALLY dumb.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 27 . 5/26
I can't help but find it weird to hear american racial slurrs comming from a british character.
Don't get me wrong. I have NO doubt that Vernon WOULD be racist in some way or other.
But it would be at indians, pakistanians, various terrorists countries after they cropped up, and so on.
But blacks? Half of them are as british as everyone else. All brits I've known has had that attitude. (And one refused to believe black people COULD be foregners. Like, at all. But he was a special case I think.)
It's just such a WEIRD thing to be racist about. For a non-american anyway.
The story is well-written, but it's starting to float out into some weird AU shit with Creatures involved right now.
If there is deities involved further into it, I'mm gonna facepalm and write this off as a crackfic.
This is sadly typical for stories with a Mary Sue character in it tho. *Sigh*
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 23 . 5/26
Nice work with the horror in this chapter! I got flashbacks to Silent Hill. _
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 22 . 5/26
Riddle me this: IF you COULD hide PEOPLE behind the Fidilus charm, why did James and Lilly NOT do that?
And why is Snape so antagonistic to Draco? He LOVES his godson in the books. He constantly protects him and helps him out in anything that happens. AND he was willing to protect him when Narcissa begged him too, even at risk to his own life. (I don't recall if he swor on his magic or not, but he might have.)
The story is really getting intresting tho. _
I wonder why it is deviating from canon, but it's still a very good story.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 20 . 5/26
Wow, this story must be old!
Sorry if I nitpicked on an old story btw. But I never check the date posted.
But if people remotly care that two girls are kissing like that, it HAS to be old.
...unless your theory was that the wizarding world was stuck in older muggle values of course.
(If it had been genuine Wizard values, then gender wouldn't matter squat, proboably. Although this is me assuming wizarding tradition having roots in Druidic times.
And gender roles back then wasn't so... cristian. And if my memory serves me, sex wasn't limuted to marrige, because marrige was political not romantic.
Not that we know much about the druids specifically of course. I'm going by ancient british cultures, aroynd the time of the warrior queens and such.
Well, that... and I'm pretty sure any magic capable of turning a desk into a lion and change the WHOLE body to an animal, should have no problems finding a way to make two of the same gender be able to make a baby together. It'd require a far smaller change.)
Still... it IS an interesting discussion to have. I wonder if anyone asked JK Rowling about it BEFORE someone commented on her story being oh-so-caucasian-only-non-gay and Rowling started to overdefend herself.
I'd like to know her REAL view on the whole gay thing in the wizarding world.
| Dark-Prince-of-Clowns chapter 19 . 5/26
I finally figured out what kept bothering me about the conversations.
Pick ANY thing said by ANYONE in your story, and (with the exception of Etny and Luna) you would be hard-pressed to tell who said it.
Granted, it's a difficult skill to master. But your devotion to proper spelling and grammar actually removes a lot of personality from the characters. Although some of it comes from a lack of emotional reaction.
Voldemort is too calm. (In canon he's always raving angrily.)
Snape is too courteous. (In canon he's always snarky and sarcastic. He couldn't be nice or polite if his life depended on it. If Harry saved his life he'd thank him with a "I guess even a dunderhead like you can do SOMETHING right." And from him, that's high praise.)
Sirius is too serious. (In the books he makes a joke about everything.)
Dumbledore is too honest. (In canon he speaks in riddles and his own version of proverbs.)
I could go on.
Luna, Harry, Hermione and Etna is fairly well written.
Ron is perhaps the best written dialogues you have. Although part of it is because his emotional reactions are veaten down by Elizabeth, and his lack of idiocy therefore makes sense.
Humans are not logical, nor do they make smart decisions. That's a part of what makes them intresting.
You write very well, but you have a few things, like Dialogue, that you could improve your skills on.
I know Brandon McNulty have two very good videos on Good vs Bad Dialogue.
I can safely recommend you watch those.
Your storytelling and descriptions are very good tho. So keep those up. _