|Reviews for Mystery of the Violet Citadel|
| ZariyaVera chapter 6 . 7/3
Hi aviatrix8, I enjoyed your Asric and Jadaar story. Very fun detective/comraderie tale.
| Starmischief chapter 1 . 10/25/2012
It's very interesting. -Grey
| Shadeless chapter 6 . 1/10/2010
I adore this story. It's witty, funny and sweet (and I've been a sucker for Asric and Jadaar since they first turned up in Shat...) So, much love and online cookies
| Mipeltaja chapter 6 . 11/24/2009
An interesting way to take a trivial achievement from the game and use it as a major plot point. Well done! Always good to see some fic about Asric and Jadaar, too.
As a point of interest, Asric's current clothes do in fact appear to be cloth. At the very least he's wearing what look identical to the Imbued Netherweave Tunic and Imbued Netherweave Pants. By no means am I arguing with your decision to make him a rogue however, I just got the feeling that you might like to know.
| The Mighty Ckikzilla chapter 6 . 11/22/2009
I liked the story. All of it
There was the mystery part, which was a little silly in and of itself, and the obvious humor and the uber obvious references.
If you ever get time, you should think about writing a sequel to this or something. That would be awesome
Something about Jadaar's fear of Elekks, if you picked up on that already xD
I had a plan for something before patch 3.2 about those two getting stupid jobs in Dalaran, like putting on tree-hats and selling fruit.
So that would be something fun to work on, right? I would love to read it if you did make something like that 3
| The Mighty Ckikzilla chapter 2 . 11/22/2009
Lol that was teh best evar
I saw what you did there with the Fullmetal Alchemist reference.
Also, me likes how you wrote Jadaar and Asric
'Twas funny and awesome
| thomas chapter 6 . 11/21/2009
i liked thisplease write more...haha
| Farseer Lolotea chapter 2 . 11/15/2009
This is all kinds of awesome. I adore those two dorks.
| PingZing chapter 3 . 11/14/2009
Excellent, I've always loved that pair of eternal losers. Great to see somebody writing a story about them. I'm eager to see where this goes.
| Obsidian Blade chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
Hullo, midnightsteel from WoW_Ladies here. I have to second alchematrix's point that the Japanese name doesn't really fit (in fact, I prefer Yensid) but, that aside, I enjoyed the first chapter. The slow build-up to the realisation that Vargoth is gone is well done, particularly the moment of realisation (from "There was no reply" to "no one in the room except her"). An investigation into a missing person is such an obvious hook to pull the reader into a story but very rarely used; I found it to be very effective material for a prologue.
I did have a few grammatical/formatting complaints, though. Firstly, you overuse ellipses and could do with stripping pretty much all of them out. There's one point where an ellipsis works in this prologue, and that's when an instructor says "But surely he must go outside sometimes..." Other than that, it just seems like an unnecessary indication of suspense that suggests you don't trust your narrative to convey the same. By the way, your narrative -does- give a good sense of suspense -and- mystery in all the right places.
You also have some issues with commas. I would cut them clean out of the lines "Miki Nezumi carefully ascended the stairs of the Violet Citadel, with a basket of food tucked under her arm"; "the only way that anybody could enter, was with the aforementioned teleport spell"; and "The least I could do, is offer my help in the investigation." On the other hand, your use of semicolons is sound.
In terms of formatting, I simply felt your first two paragraphs should have been one, as they're not long and both focus on the same subject matter.
Stylistically, your narrative is clear and easily read, so no complaints there. As I said before, the build up to the disappearance is great, and you did a good job of depicting the new arrival's appearance too. Nicely done. :D
| Lord Alania chapter 2 . 11/11/2009
Please continue. Jadaar and Asric are my favorite WoW npc characters!
| mirari1 chapter 2 . 11/11/2009
Nice! Jadaar and Asric are awesome, and I think you've got a really interesting premise. Can't wait to see where this goes!