Reviews for Its Own Sort of Elegance
Animus of Masada chapter 1 . 3/14/2015
I really liked this one. I just regret that it was so short-I was hardly expecting a whole series or anything, but at least a few more scenes (potentially several more chapters, even). Really touching, and it fleshes out the characters in ways that feel very true to canon. Well done.
Destiny-N chapter 1 . 5/19/2010
I really enjoyed this story, i really don't think i can criticize you on it. It was really good.
Any Pseudonym Will Do chapter 1 . 3/1/2010
Hi there!

Incoming: criticism.


1) When a person is speaking, you use a comma instead of a period.


"You're home." She said with a soft smile.

would then be

"You're home," she said with a soft smile.

2) Generally, try not to start a sentence with "but" or "and". "But" and "and" are something called coordinate conjunctions (I think - all of this was taught to me in another language...), which are used to join two clauses together.

Admittedly, many authors disregard this little rule every now and then in favor of achieving a certain feel or flow in their stories, so it's just a minor point I thought I'd bring up since you started some of your bigger paragraphs with "and" or "but", even though it wasn't really necessary. :)


So, the fun, subjective stuff! I throughly enjoyed your clean, to-the-point way of writing - for example: the first sentence was perfect for the story, setting the mood immediately.

Your description of the DB was refreshingly original, and I truly liked it (especially the comparison to a normal arm, with the underside being softer), but! I think someone who hasn't played the game might have a hard time imagining how all the different pieces fit together. Obviously, this being fanfiction, it's not a huge issue, but still something to take into account for future stories. You never know, one day you might decide to write a novel. :)

Anyway, back to the DB; as a fan I'd hoped that you'd describe the transition from arm to arm, so to speak - where does the flesh turn into that of a devil's, how is it attached etc. However, I admit it's my being a fan, because it's not really necessary - your description now is actually really good, since it doesn't only cover the physical aspect, but also Kyrie's thoughts and feelings in regard to the DB.

Overall, I really, really liked this little one-shot, and if you ever decide to write a chaptered DMC story, I'll definitely read it!

Here's my email, if you wanna say something :)
Evermist23 chapter 1 . 11/13/2009
I enjoyed this, though I have to admit my favourite bit was not the description of the Devil Bringer, but more to Kyrie's reactions, both to the overall aftermath of DMC4 and to the Devil Bringer. Her thoughts and preconcieved ideas certainly seemed very accurate and in character.

The only thing I can think of that strikes me as not quite right, is that the word "analogue" seems off; I think you were going for "analogy".

Well done.
Animuse chapter 1 . 11/12/2009
I enjoyed your previous Nero/Kyrie, and I like this one, too. They really are a sweet couple, aren't they?
Devil Rebel chapter 1 . 11/11/2009