|Reviews for Hooves On The Northern Lands|
| Farla chapter 6 . 3/26/2010
"saving the life of her potoge"
"because my predocessor was salin "
And also, piling on the villainy is lame. The fact some guy was mean to your character once shouldn't have anything to do with being used to kill them by the fae. They're fae, it's not like he's betraying people because he's made a choice in the matter.
| Farla chapter 5 . 3/26/2010
"And finally, I was helped forward to the armour itself, and knelt before the marble plinth, the right gauntlet at face height. On the middle finger was a golden ring, the sunburst symbol of The Golden Order engraved on it. The others squires stood back respectfully as I lowered my head to kiss the ring as ceremony demanded. "
So...*how* exactly has this place managed not to get fate ninjaed into a bunch of trout yet?
...and now they're responding to her turning anathema by bowing. Seriously, preventing this kind of thing is exactly what the fate ninja are around for. And if they think glowy demon possessed people are so awesome, where'd she even hear that anathema are bad in the first place?
| Farla chapter 4 . 3/26/2010
"I leaped from my saddle as I drew my sword"
Cavalry: you're doing it wrong.
| Farla chapter 3 . 3/26/2010
"She also began to teach me advanced spear techniques through the Golden Janissary style of martial arts. "
You mean the one the Dragonblooded generally suppress as heretical because it looks all shiny and gold and anathema-y, and the Order tends to kill off? The one that's pretty much shit against anything other than demons and ghosts? What exactly was wrong with Five Dragon Style, which actually works against beastmen, shaped fae and bandits, the people you've established they're actually in conflict with?
| Farla chapter 2 . 3/26/2010
And it's random sexism, because of course there's going to be the standard sexism in a world where half the superpowered people are female and able to tear any uppity mortal apart with their bare hands. You realize the whole "chivalry" thing makes no sense here? The word comes from "horse" because it's from a culture where the prime distinction between powerless and powerful was who had the horse, so naturally they said the guy who had to horse had responsibilities to his inferiors. In Creation, the distinction is being able to use essence. If you can use charms, you can kill the guy and his horse. And a good chunk of it revolves around being nice to women because they're obviously so inferior. Most of it should be covered by or conflict with the Immaculate Order's teachings.
| Farla chapter 1 . 3/26/2010
Okay, so, first off your title really should be capitalized properly. And making the story itself all in bold is irritating and makes it hard to read.
Anyway, this reads like generic medieval fantasy. I mean, the whole sir knight thing? Exalted barely has cavalry. The whole horse armor thing isn't such a big advantage compared to mortals vs exalts, and since most of those exalts will accidentally kill any horse they're riding on during battle, it makes sense they're not going to be as horse-centric as feudal Europe. And the people dedicated to fighting evil and darkness tend to be monks.